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erasure4rum  /  Non-Erasure Chat  /  Utter Rubbish
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 6, 2012, 3:51pm
My favourite topic from the old forum - sadly not brought back by Clint so I'm basically stealing this off of him . :P

Again....just in case anybody is in any doubt as to who is the svengali of this topic is then its CLINT  :)

Let the rubbish begin.........
Posted by: UnclePeter42, October 6, 2012, 11:04pm; Reply: 1
Don't know how this one works but I'll say X-Factor.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 7, 2012, 3:12am; Reply: 2
I put the lotion in basket, and all is good now
Posted by: Pughie, October 7, 2012, 8:18am; Reply: 3
It did clear it up,but it left a rash on my bottom
Posted by: dannylee, October 7, 2012, 8:22am; Reply: 4
It stung to say the least
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 7, 2012, 4:41pm; Reply: 5
Predictions made by a buffoon.......
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 7, 2012, 4:57pm; Reply: 6
Go on, rub toothpaste into yer Harry Radds, it'll no hurt, honest.... ::)
Posted by: dannylee, October 7, 2012, 5:51pm; Reply: 7
Energy saving light bulbs
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 8, 2012, 5:13pm; Reply: 8
His leg was at least five metres near to mine so I fell over in the box and rolled around like I'D BEEN RUN OVER BY A TRUCK. :B
Posted by: dannylee, October 8, 2012, 6:17pm; Reply: 9
The end was buffed to an inch of its life.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 8, 2012, 6:48pm; Reply: 10
Don't point that thing at me, she said....then she came.
Posted by: dannylee, October 8, 2012, 8:23pm; Reply: 11
It will be nice to have it on the veranda
Posted by: Pughie, October 9, 2012, 9:48am; Reply: 12
I slightly moved it to the left,and the whole top just exploded in my hand!!
Posted by: dannylee, October 9, 2012, 12:52pm; Reply: 13
I'm just not as enthusiastic about it as I once was
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 9, 2012, 8:07pm; Reply: 14
2 Mr Bunny's. ??)
Posted by: dannylee, October 9, 2012, 9:24pm; Reply: 15
Careful, it's gone in my eye!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 12, 2012, 8:03am; Reply: 16
Charlotte's a Harlot, dresses in Scarlet....Mary dresses in Green..
Posted by: dannylee, October 12, 2012, 11:09am; Reply: 17
I'm raiding the fridge, and breaking into the freezer
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 12, 2012, 5:07pm; Reply: 18
I put the chickens breasts into the chicken bra......
Posted by: dannylee, October 12, 2012, 7:27pm; Reply: 19
Wearing glasses in the rain
Posted by: UnclePeter42, October 12, 2012, 11:02pm; Reply: 20
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Charlotte's a Harlot, dresses in Scarlet....Mary dresses in Green..


We used to have payslips at work that were sealed and went though a dot matrix printer. Some details, those on the outside were printed with ink. Others just had the printer head strike to trigger the crazy magic cc paper inside. If you wrote on the outside it would transfer inside. If you put some paper on top on the payslip and wrote the pressure would transfer it inside but leave the outside unmarked. So, if you wrote "Charlotte the harlotte takes it up the ar*e" you wouldn't see it until you open it. Someone did that and it's one of the best stories I have from 12 years at my current workplace!


Posted by: chemicalboy, October 13, 2012, 8:59am; Reply: 21
Jim 'fixed' it for me......... ??) ??) ??)
Posted by: dannylee, October 13, 2012, 6:32pm; Reply: 22
You show me yours and I'll..........have a laugh  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 14, 2012, 5:28am; Reply: 23
Oi, Oi, Oi......Steady.... >:(
Posted by: dannylee, October 14, 2012, 8:26am; Reply: 24
Give me that and I shall return it tenfold.................as a swan
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 15, 2012, 1:39am; Reply: 25
Does yer upstairs landing match yer downstairs lobby, love??
Posted by: dannylee, October 15, 2012, 7:18am; Reply: 26
If you rub it here a "Genie" pops out the end
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 15, 2012, 6:24pm; Reply: 27
The decision on cages is taking ages.....
Posted by: dannylee, October 15, 2012, 7:02pm; Reply: 28
Cheeky Monkey has lost his banana!  Can you help to guide him through the maze to find it?
Posted by: Biffo, October 15, 2012, 7:27pm; Reply: 29
I see the smut has crept in. Be aware, Biffo is now a teetotal, strict Baptist Presbytarian 8)
Posted by: dannylee, October 15, 2012, 8:31pm; Reply: 30
Quoted from Biffo
I see the smut has crept in.......8)


Smut? Only if you take it that way!

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 18, 2012, 6:20am; Reply: 31
Piss Off Rossssss!
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 18, 2012, 5:51pm; Reply: 32
A massive increase in Spam e-mails recently - so much so I wish to publicly announce that - I DO NOT NEED A SHORT TERM LOAN FOR A PENIS ENLARGEMENT JUST BEFORE I TAKE OUT A LOCAL MILF NAMED DONNA TO CELEBRATE MY PPI CLAIMBACK VICTORY - F*CK OFF THE LOT OF YOU!!!!!! >:( >:( >:( >:(
Posted by: dannylee, October 18, 2012, 8:15pm; Reply: 33
Don't sugar coat it!
Posted by: Pughie, October 19, 2012, 9:44am; Reply: 34
Quoted from dannylee
Don't sugar coat it!


No its a lot better with breadcrumbs

Posted by: chemicalboy, October 19, 2012, 6:26pm; Reply: 35
Quoted from Pughie


No its a lot better with breadcrumbs



I was actually thinking machine gun......grrrrrrrrrr
Posted by: dannylee, October 19, 2012, 6:48pm; Reply: 36
Never had 1million candles but I am sure they are brighter then my damn torch  8)
Posted by: Pughie, October 20, 2012, 2:47pm; Reply: 37
Quoted from dannylee
Never had 1million candles but I am sure they are brighter then my damn torch  8)


You don't need a million candles anymore just a flaming battenburg tattoo

Posted by: dannylee, October 20, 2012, 6:26pm; Reply: 38
Quoted from Pughie


You don't need a million candles anymore just a flaming battenburg tattoo



Oops, I didn't realise this was part of Rod's act  :B.  Also it looks like my torch needs replacing, they do 10 million now!  :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 21, 2012, 1:36pm; Reply: 39
Doom and Gloom...... :-/
Posted by: suec, October 21, 2012, 3:20pm; Reply: 40
Waterloo road
Posted by: Pughie, October 21, 2012, 3:36pm; Reply: 41
to the cooler!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 22, 2012, 5:11am; Reply: 42
X-Factor feckin' Deadlock Pish!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 22, 2012, 5:22am; Reply: 43
X-Factor feckin' Deadlock Pish! Basically, what i'm actually tryin to say is, Kiss Ma Swingers ITV.... ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 23, 2012, 4:06pm; Reply: 44
Wiggle.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 23, 2012, 4:53pm; Reply: 45
Knicky-Knacky-Knoo
Posted by: dannylee, October 23, 2012, 5:29pm; Reply: 46
Where did you get the tent from?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 25, 2012, 7:02am; Reply: 47
Just sayin', wind it right in Honkytonk.

Posted by: chemicalboy, October 26, 2012, 2:54pm; Reply: 48
We've finished.

When I say finished what I actually mean is we have done a bit.

Ok, ok. We've not even started yet and have done the equivelant of 'F*ck All'.

HAPPY NOW??????????????
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 26, 2012, 6:14pm; Reply: 49
There's a jobby in yer lobby... :-/
Posted by: dannylee, October 26, 2012, 6:55pm; Reply: 50
Always looks bigger from the side.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 26, 2012, 7:06pm; Reply: 51
I treat it like a hamster because it's covered in fur and only pops out once in a while......
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 27, 2012, 9:19am; Reply: 52
I honestly slipped onto the vacuum nozzle whilst doing my chores.....naked of course.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 27, 2012, 9:20am; Reply: 53
Can you get milk from a milkman?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 27, 2012, 9:27am; Reply: 54
You mean you actually get out of the shower to pee? Ya radge!
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 27, 2012, 9:32am; Reply: 55
Can you gas a gas man?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 27, 2012, 10:19am; Reply: 56
Can you undertake an undertaker???
Posted by: dannylee, October 27, 2012, 11:03am; Reply: 57
Should you poke someone playing poker with a poker?
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 27, 2012, 12:45pm; Reply: 58
Can you rush a Russian?
Posted by: dannylee, October 27, 2012, 1:18pm; Reply: 59
You can mop a Moped if you want

Posted by: chemicalboy, October 28, 2012, 10:29am; Reply: 60
Can you wind up the wind?
Posted by: dannylee, October 28, 2012, 11:29am; Reply: 61
Can you break a breaker?
Posted by: suec, October 28, 2012, 9:12pm; Reply: 62
Waitin for payday
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 30, 2012, 7:39pm; Reply: 63
Outsourcing.
Posted by: dannylee, October 30, 2012, 11:03pm; Reply: 64
Carpet cleaner
Posted by: suec, October 31, 2012, 2:10pm; Reply: 65
Working on Halloween  :o
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 31, 2012, 4:28pm; Reply: 66
Discumknockerated. ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 1, 2012, 5:08pm; Reply: 67
Jim fixed it for me to milk a cow in the dark.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 2, 2012, 8:30am; Reply: 68
The Pearl Necklace i gave her, was not the one wot she was expecting..... :B
Posted by: Pughie, November 2, 2012, 10:36am; Reply: 69
Quoted from chemicalboy
Jim fixed it for me to milk a cow in the dark.


But he ruined that as i got no milk just yoghurt.

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 4, 2012, 11:33am; Reply: 70
Karaoke tunes with the totally wrong lyrics....
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 4, 2012, 4:53pm; Reply: 71
:(Liverpool Football Club. :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 8, 2012, 7:41am; Reply: 72
:B Dunfermline Athletic Football Club's Directors... :B Bunch o' feckin' no good,  lousy, stinkin' crooks, and yes, you can quote me on that.... >:(
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 8, 2012, 7:16pm; Reply: 73
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........................more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................and then some more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. >:( >:( >:(
Posted by: suec, November 8, 2012, 8:16pm; Reply: 74
Putting setee covers back on after being washed and dried, bloody jigsaw and hard work
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 10, 2012, 9:59am; Reply: 75
:X Zip it.  :X
Posted by: dannylee, November 10, 2012, 10:05am; Reply: 76
In app purchases
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 11, 2012, 11:20am; Reply: 77
I'm A Feckin' 'Celebrity'.....Boost My Flagging Career...
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 11, 2012, 4:49pm; Reply: 78
Tippy Tappy....Tippy Tappy....Tippy Tappy......Lose. :(
Posted by: suec, November 11, 2012, 8:28pm; Reply: 79
Xfactor
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 12, 2012, 6:00am; Reply: 80
Ram it up yer flue...
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 12, 2012, 4:00pm; Reply: 81
Dragging myself away from the weekend. :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 17, 2012, 2:10pm; Reply: 82
Christmas Mince Pies with a best before date of November 27th....shockeroony.  :B
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 17, 2012, 5:06pm; Reply: 83
Cravings.......... :o :o :o
Posted by: dannylee, November 17, 2012, 9:55pm; Reply: 84
Sherbet dib dabs to you
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 18, 2012, 10:24am; Reply: 85
I'll give you that many lefts, you'll be begging for a right, I'll hit you that often, you'll think you're surrounded.  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 20, 2012, 5:45pm; Reply: 86
Others.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 21, 2012, 5:06am; Reply: 87
Hairy Walloper 'n' Bawsack
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 24, 2012, 12:06pm; Reply: 88
T----O----O----T----H----A----C----H----E.............. :-/
Posted by: dannylee, November 24, 2012, 9:52pm; Reply: 89
Slankets............no, i don't have one!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 27, 2012, 6:34am; Reply: 90
The Adventures & Mis-Adventures Of Noofter Poomftie ... All entirely fictional characaters & storylines, but what journey.  ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 1, 2012, 3:06pm; Reply: 91
The very low suicide rate of Chavs and Slappers.
Posted by: dannylee, December 1, 2012, 4:25pm; Reply: 92
Our town's Christmas decorations.
Posted by: Biffo, December 1, 2012, 10:30pm; Reply: 93
I dunno if my town has any. Never go down there. It's a sh$thole.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 3, 2012, 8:32am; Reply: 94
Snaw, with roads like skatin' rinks.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 3, 2012, 4:22pm; Reply: 95
Quoted from Biffo
I dunno if my town has any. Never go down there. It's a sh$thole.


We must live in the same place then....
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 3, 2012, 10:21pm; Reply: 96
Royal 'Variety' Performance....pure pish.  :B
Posted by: dannylee, December 3, 2012, 10:26pm; Reply: 97
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Royal 'Variety' Performance....pure pish.  :B


Dancing dogs
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 3, 2012, 10:28pm; Reply: 98
Aye well apart from Pudsey, admittedly that wiz gid! ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 6, 2012, 3:54pm; Reply: 99
Smell my finger and tell me which member of your family it reminds you of............
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 7, 2012, 6:58pm; Reply: 100
Procrastination.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 8, 2012, 12:26am; Reply: 101
Did you take a shite in ma kettle??
Posted by: dannylee, December 9, 2012, 3:26pm; Reply: 102
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Did you take a shite in ma kettle??


No but I put my wang in the toaster  ??)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 9, 2012, 7:07pm; Reply: 103
Quoted from dannylee


No but I put my wang in the toaster  ??)



Note to self, if Dannylee offers you hot buttered toast, politely decline, maintain eye contact and back out his house slowly.... ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 12, 2012, 10:58am; Reply: 104
Egregious...
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 15, 2012, 1:10pm; Reply: 105
Christmas F*cking Shopping. :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 15, 2012, 8:45pm; Reply: 106
Strictly Come Mince
Posted by: dannylee, December 18, 2012, 4:47pm; Reply: 107
Quoted from chemicalboy
Christmas F*cking Shopping. :(


Where can you buy that?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 18, 2012, 5:23pm; Reply: 108
Deck yer balls with bows of holly...
Posted by: dannylee, December 18, 2012, 9:06pm; Reply: 109
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Deck yer balls with bows of holly...


and shove a Christmas tree up your..........jumper

Posted by: chemicalboy, December 18, 2012, 9:12pm; Reply: 110
Jingle Balls.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 19, 2012, 2:35am; Reply: 111
Ding-dong merrily on dobber...
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 19, 2012, 4:56pm; Reply: 112
Quoted from dannylee


Where can you buy that?


At the "Daniel Miller Porn Emporium" situated in Erasureville. ;)
Posted by: dannylee, December 19, 2012, 9:10pm; Reply: 113
Drivers and zebra crossings  >:(
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 19, 2012, 10:40pm; Reply: 114
Horses in black and white camouflage using zebra crossings.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 21, 2012, 7:16am; Reply: 115
Mayan Calander
Posted by: dannylee, December 22, 2012, 9:49am; Reply: 116
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Mayan Calander


You never know could be a few days out (if my watch is anything to go by)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 23, 2012, 10:26am; Reply: 117
Bruce Forsyth's Syrup of Fig or Irish Jig.  :B
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 23, 2012, 7:36pm; Reply: 118
It was left a little loose and slighty soiled.....
Posted by: Pughie, December 24, 2012, 12:38pm; Reply: 119
Its Christmas???,well no-one mentioned it to me.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 28, 2012, 10:54am; Reply: 120
Going cold turkey - eating cold turkey.
Posted by: Biffo, December 28, 2012, 10:58pm; Reply: 121
Best with stuffing either way. 8)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 29, 2012, 11:07am; Reply: 122
Pop-It-In-Pete The Postman....the things i've had rammed through my letterbox this christmas i'll tell you...
Posted by: Pughie, December 29, 2012, 11:17am; Reply: 123
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Pop-It-In-Pete The Postman....the things i've had rammed through my letterbox this christmas i'll tell you...


Its all in the training,i especially like the 'do not bend' A4 sized card backed envelopes .... they are mostly 1cm wider
than most letterboxes ..... i still get them through,its an art you know.

Posted by: chemicalboy, December 29, 2012, 11:50am; Reply: 124
Banging your head against a tree when your not a cuckoo....
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 31, 2012, 2:48pm; Reply: 125
Sir Rodney Effing, with two f's.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2013, 1:21pm; Reply: 126
Kicking the dog, causing much disapproval.
Posted by: Pughie, January 1, 2013, 2:20pm; Reply: 127
My New Years Eve consisted of one can of Strongbow Pear,and a major falling asleep until 11.40 when i had to wake up
to say Happy New Year to the other half.


Posted by: chemicalboy, January 2, 2013, 8:04pm; Reply: 128
Sorry, I'm coughing over you and I have a bug. Opps, I've coughed over you again. And again....... :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, January 3, 2013, 5:17pm; Reply: 129
Of course i love you...
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 3, 2013, 7:41pm; Reply: 130
It's not you it's me.....
Posted by: dannylee, January 3, 2013, 7:48pm; Reply: 131
....it's me or the dog?
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 3, 2013, 8:09pm; Reply: 132
Your dinner is in the dog.....
Posted by: suec, January 4, 2013, 11:50pm; Reply: 133
Carrier bags with holes, pickin up dog poo  ??) not good
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 7, 2013, 7:33pm; Reply: 134
Stolen Mojo - reward if found.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, January 9, 2013, 4:28pm; Reply: 135
Tiddly-winks old man, suck a lemon if you can, if you can't suck a lemon, suck an old tin can. :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 11, 2013, 4:39pm; Reply: 136
The elephants will be pleased.....
Posted by: dannylee, January 11, 2013, 5:01pm; Reply: 137
Why is trying to buy a lightbulb an Olympic sport these days?
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 11, 2013, 6:51pm; Reply: 138
Quoted from dannylee
Why is trying to buy a lightbulb an Olympic sport these days?


I don't know but you can guarentee that the BBC will televise it and the main 'lightbulbchangerer' will win Sports Personality of The Year..... ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, January 12, 2013, 10:18pm; Reply: 139
Splash on ITV' utter pish!!
Posted by: dannylee, January 13, 2013, 4:11pm; Reply: 140
My bl**dy printer!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, January 14, 2013, 10:23pm; Reply: 141
Una messa, para quattro, por favor
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 15, 2013, 5:52pm; Reply: 142
No.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, January 19, 2013, 10:37am; Reply: 143
Top banntur, great chat.
Posted by: dannylee, January 19, 2013, 8:05pm; Reply: 144
Medication
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 21, 2013, 8:02pm; Reply: 145
Promises, promises.......
Posted by: dannylee, February 5, 2013, 10:30am; Reply: 146
Did that milk just shake?
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 5, 2013, 4:35pm; Reply: 147
Doesn't that cheese look board?
Posted by: dannylee, February 5, 2013, 8:14pm; Reply: 148
I whipped the life out of that cream.
Posted by: dannylee, February 5, 2013, 8:46pm; Reply: 149
Quoted from dannylee
I whipped the life out of that cream.


The oldies are the best  :B

On second thoughts why does that cream smell of cheese?
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 6, 2013, 4:51pm; Reply: 150
A tiny tidal experience - that would be a micro wave.
Posted by: dannylee, February 6, 2013, 9:18pm; Reply: 151
I'd love to take a dip in my "Whirlpool"
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, February 9, 2013, 9:46am; Reply: 152
Bum tit, tit, bum tit, tit, play the hairy banjo.  :B
Posted by: dannylee, February 9, 2013, 12:21pm; Reply: 153
All fluffed up with nowhere to go
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, February 10, 2013, 9:24am; Reply: 154
Erasureinfo.com is back online...
Posted by: Pughie, February 10, 2013, 12:16pm; Reply: 155
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Erasureinfo.com is back online...





You git!....... You got me a good one there  :'(

Posted by: chemicalboy, February 10, 2013, 7:18pm; Reply: 156
Sticky middle finger.
Posted by: suec, February 12, 2013, 7:50am; Reply: 157
Full of cold  :o
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 15, 2013, 8:02pm; Reply: 158
9 million tv channels - nothing on.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 24, 2013, 5:01pm; Reply: 159
63 amp machine - 32 amp supply. :(
Posted by: dannylee, February 24, 2013, 5:33pm; Reply: 160
Argos' supposedly improved computerised queuing system.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, February 25, 2013, 6:48pm; Reply: 161
Ma Laddies taste in music, pure pish.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 25, 2013, 7:05pm; Reply: 162
Enjoy the Sol beyond Chris.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 2, 2013, 2:14pm; Reply: 163
My biggest mistake as an undertaker was the day we did the 'Harlem Shake'......
Posted by: suec, March 3, 2013, 11:10pm; Reply: 164
Bullying
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 4, 2013, 12:07am; Reply: 165
They don't like it 'em sir, they don't like it up 'em
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 6, 2013, 7:13pm; Reply: 166
Quick Reply.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 7, 2013, 12:43am; Reply: 167
You ruddy ignorant coolee, how dare you insult us British
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 7, 2013, 7:41pm; Reply: 168
I'm releasing an album of Easter songs including some Mothers Day covers.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 13, 2013, 4:42pm; Reply: 169
The Bumblebee Repainting Scheme.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 13, 2013, 10:41pm; Reply: 170
glass of water for Mr Grainger...
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 14, 2013, 7:42pm; Reply: 171
The Hedgehog Shaving Initiative.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 18, 2013, 7:10pm; Reply: 172
Filling up the drainage system with nose juice.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 18, 2013, 9:13pm; Reply: 173
On the chest of a barmaid from Sale,

Is tattooed all the prices of ale,

Whilst on her behind,

For the sake of the blind,

Is precisely the same, but in braille.


::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 20, 2013, 6:07pm; Reply: 174
Stuck in the middle of a Why?-fest......
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 22, 2013, 5:31pm; Reply: 175
SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW RAIN SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW >:(
Posted by: Pughie, March 22, 2013, 9:04pm; Reply: 176
Chemical boy is it snowing?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 23, 2013, 4:56pm; Reply: 177
Quoted from Pughie
Chemical boy is it snowing?


Might be! :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 28, 2013, 8:04pm; Reply: 178
Tennis ball graveyard.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 29, 2013, 11:37am; Reply: 179
Who can hold their head under the water the longest without drowning, competition.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 29, 2013, 5:21pm; Reply: 180
Day 1 - wasted.
Posted by: dannylee, March 29, 2013, 6:06pm; Reply: 181
Low alcohol wine
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 30, 2013, 8:32pm; Reply: 182
North Korea.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, March 31, 2013, 10:38am; Reply: 183
Decaff Coffee
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 31, 2013, 11:08am; Reply: 184
Happy Egg Day.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, April 12, 2013, 6:44am; Reply: 185
We Buy Any Car Dot Com pay top price for your car....
Posted by: dannylee, April 12, 2013, 8:45am; Reply: 186
Drilling
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 12, 2013, 5:16pm; Reply: 187
Go for new tyres and end up needing new springs, discs and pads. Ouch.
Posted by: dannylee, April 12, 2013, 7:38pm; Reply: 188
Quoted from chemicalboy
Go for new tyres and end up needing new springs, discs and pads. Ouch.


Now you know why you needed new tyres!  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, April 13, 2013, 2:15pm; Reply: 189
photo I'd driving licenses....£20 renewal....I know what I look like, thanks.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 13, 2013, 3:09pm; Reply: 190
Rules 1&2 of Pughie's new forum as stated in the five word story thread.
Posted by: dannylee, April 13, 2013, 3:26pm; Reply: 191
Quoted from chemicalboy
Rules 1&2 of Pughie's new forum as stated in the five word story thread.


Rule 3 is not much better, but No.1 is going to be the killer.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, April 14, 2013, 1:26am; Reply: 192
Rules are for fools who act like tools who sit on stools....
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 30, 2013, 6:56pm; Reply: 193
The man wearing only some onions and a beret shouting "Pellet" :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 1, 2013, 5:33pm; Reply: 194
Good Moaning, i was pissing by your coffee when i heard two shats.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2013, 7:50pm; Reply: 195
WBSHSSAAOPWIHTHEEWAMSSM! :X
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 1, 2013, 11:06pm; Reply: 196
Chemicalboy isn't a Belieber......pure pish, he is!!!  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 2, 2013, 6:36pm; Reply: 197
The recent epidemic of famous rapists and kiddie fiddlers.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 2, 2013, 10:41pm; Reply: 198
EIS site is finally up and running and looking superb.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 3, 2013, 6:02pm; Reply: 199
Champagne in plastic cups.
Posted by: dannylee, May 3, 2013, 6:25pm; Reply: 200
Emergency chairs and dodgy wall paper pasting tables.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 4, 2013, 6:42am; Reply: 201
She sells sea shells on the sea shore, the shells she sells are sea shells for sure.
Posted by: Pughie, May 4, 2013, 9:22am; Reply: 202
7
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 4, 2013, 7:53pm; Reply: 203
The pyjama farmer.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 5, 2013, 12:25am; Reply: 204
A feckin pair o' wimmins knickers.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2013, 7:46pm; Reply: 205
"You are only using me for legs on a Saturday."
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 6, 2013, 8:45am; Reply: 206
Can nobody get a poss in piss around 'ere
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 7, 2013, 7:02pm; Reply: 207
Please would have made all the difference.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 8, 2013, 6:47am; Reply: 208
Do you not see that if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug,

then you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!




Simple plans are always the best....
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 8, 2013, 7:34pm; Reply: 209
The lonely bony pit pony......
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 8, 2013, 10:26pm; Reply: 210
My Uncle Bill last Christmas, he drank too much Spumanti, he slid doon the bannister, now he is my auntie.... :'(
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 9, 2013, 8:39pm; Reply: 211
Pointless small talk.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 9, 2013, 10:35pm; Reply: 212
Love on the rocks.....it hurts her bum.
Posted by: dannylee, May 9, 2013, 10:41pm; Reply: 213
Fabricated lies
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 10, 2013, 6:43am; Reply: 214
I have often walked down this street before, and it was just today i noticed that you have no front door.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 11, 2013, 7:24pm; Reply: 215
Manchester City.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 12, 2013, 5:26am; Reply: 216
As the male sheep said to the female sheep when the barn went on fire....let's get the flock outta here.  ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 12, 2013, 6:47pm; Reply: 217
I've got more on. More on I tell thee.
Posted by: dannylee, May 12, 2013, 7:02pm; Reply: 218
Solar powered torch
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 12, 2013, 7:16pm; Reply: 219
Hydro powered sand dune blower.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 12, 2013, 10:08pm; Reply: 220
Playing hoopla with donuts in an aroused state...Chemicalboy has some weird party games... :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 13, 2013, 3:40pm; Reply: 221
Buying donuts with no holes in them. ??)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 13, 2013, 7:07pm; Reply: 222
Buying mini-donuts.... :-/
Posted by: dannylee, May 13, 2013, 8:28pm; Reply: 223
You donuts  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 13, 2013, 9:07pm; Reply: 224
That was NEVER confirmed..... ;)
Posted by: dannylee, May 13, 2013, 10:15pm; Reply: 225
Nor disproved either!  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 13, 2013, 10:17pm; Reply: 226
I'll admit to bein slightly bonkers......but happy with it!  ;)
Posted by: dannylee, May 13, 2013, 10:31pm; Reply: 227
Smells like teen spirit, or just B.O.?   :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 13, 2013, 10:46pm; Reply: 228
Oooh Bodyform for comfort,  Bodyform for confidence, Bodyform for youuuuuuu...
Posted by: dannylee, May 13, 2013, 10:52pm; Reply: 229
Because you're worth it!  Or so you think  :B
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 13, 2013, 11:04pm; Reply: 230
Tampax mega absorbant.....for when her dabs are like the Niagara Falls.... ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 14, 2013, 6:29pm; Reply: 231
Do you have a cloth?
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2013, 6:44pm; Reply: 232
I spy with my little eye something beginning with "C"?
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 14, 2013, 7:06pm; Reply: 233
After years locked away in my laboratory I have finally invented a small flat case containing two reels and a length of magnetic tape that winds between them, to be used in audio and video players and as a medium for storing data in digital form. I am going to call this invention - the I-cassette.
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2013, 7:33pm; Reply: 234
Do you put an I-cassette in I-player?
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 14, 2013, 7:49pm; Reply: 235
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫ Great I-dea!!♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 14, 2013, 10:08pm; Reply: 236
I-think you's two are 3 sandwiches short of a picnic!
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2013, 10:24pm; Reply: 237
Chemicalboy, looks like you are only getting one sarnie
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 14, 2013, 10:49pm; Reply: 238
I will disappear down the back pissage like a phantom of the noot
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2013, 10:59pm; Reply: 239
Help! I can't get my shoes off!  ??)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 14, 2013, 11:03pm; Reply: 240
Good moaning, I have a massage for Ronnie....
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2013, 11:05pm; Reply: 241
But does it come in pink?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 14, 2013, 11:09pm; Reply: 242
If only I hadn't played with it so much it wouldn't have dropped off....
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 15, 2013, 7:41pm; Reply: 243
Fetch the glue, this is going to be messy.....
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 15, 2013, 11:22pm; Reply: 244
You made the mess' you can clean it up....and mind wash her hands afterwards.  :P
Posted by: Pughie, May 16, 2013, 9:32am; Reply: 245
"mummy,mummy can I lick the bowl?"

"no ou can't,flush it like everyone else!"
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2013, 3:36pm; Reply: 246
Has anyone seen the British summer time? It has been missing for a number of years now and is presumed dead. :-/
Posted by: dannylee, May 16, 2013, 8:42pm; Reply: 247
Bl**dy BT, have no phone or internet. Having to use my mobile   >:(

....and now the angry smilie won't work for me!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 16, 2013, 10:12pm; Reply: 248
New website coming soon!  Yeah so's Christmas Tricky Dicky.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 18, 2013, 2:21pm; Reply: 249
Silence of the crowd.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 18, 2013, 4:10pm; Reply: 250
Half pissed socks
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 18, 2013, 4:32pm; Reply: 251
Hairy bollocks in tight lycra. :o
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 18, 2013, 5:18pm; Reply: 252
Shaved bollocks in cammy knickers  :P
Posted by: dannylee, May 18, 2013, 6:56pm; Reply: 253
Quoted from dannylee
Bl**dy BT, have no phone or internet. Having to use my mobile   >:(

....and now the angry smilie won't work for me!


!#%^*!$!^*^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 19, 2013, 12:53am; Reply: 254
BT's brilliant, superb fast' quick-as-ye-like, before-ye-know-it Broadband......except at Dannylee's hoose.... ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 19, 2013, 7:20pm; Reply: 255
Sabotaging Dannylee's broadband. ::)
Posted by: dannylee, May 19, 2013, 8:24pm; Reply: 256
Quoted from chemicalboy
Sabotaging Dannylee's broadband. ::)


It's back for the time being.  The engineer said it definitely reported a fault originally, but now it seems to be ok.

Now we both know why  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 19, 2013, 10:00pm; Reply: 257
The time sponsored by Accurist will be 8.12 and 30 seconds...beep..beep..beep
Posted by: dannylee, May 19, 2013, 10:16pm; Reply: 258
Small sheds
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 20, 2013, 11:03am; Reply: 259
Going for a drive thru on a bicycle.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 20, 2013, 5:22pm; Reply: 260
Poncing about.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 20, 2013, 6:43pm; Reply: 261
A fistfull of sequins.
Posted by: dannylee, May 20, 2013, 7:23pm; Reply: 262
Kentucky Fried Gator
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 20, 2013, 9:50pm; Reply: 263
Ouvert poofery.
Posted by: suec, May 21, 2013, 10:03am; Reply: 264
When good times come to an end
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 21, 2013, 11:14am; Reply: 265
I'm walking backwards for christmas, over the Irish sea...
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 21, 2013, 4:55pm; Reply: 266
Good god - I'm amazing.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 21, 2013, 7:13pm; Reply: 267
The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies by Van Klomp.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 22, 2013, 7:09pm; Reply: 268
And they will let the bastards live. :B
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 22, 2013, 10:12pm; Reply: 269
Oh will these damn lights ever change?  You've just been reading an excerpt from my new book,  Forever Amber.  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 23, 2013, 7:21pm; Reply: 270
Speling mistaks.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 23, 2013, 7:58pm; Reply: 271
Pop the kettle on love, tell your mother we're 'ere.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 24, 2013, 8:18pm; Reply: 272
Stop. Code 980. Stop. 03. Stop. Code 980. Stop. Code 00.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 24, 2013, 8:56pm; Reply: 273
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, elbow, elbow, tap, tap.... ;)
Posted by: Pughie, May 25, 2013, 12:32pm; Reply: 274
Erasureinfo.com
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 25, 2013, 1:36pm; Reply: 275
I've got a lugubrious lyric for you...
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 25, 2013, 5:16pm; Reply: 276
Hsibbur Rettu
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 25, 2013, 11:27pm; Reply: 277
"Well ye kin ram that right up yer simmit!"
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 26, 2013, 9:15am; Reply: 278
3 days, 3 visits to the cash cow.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 26, 2013, 9:43pm; Reply: 279
Just because a man likes a bit of shape to his eyebrows and knows all the moves to Dancing Queen,
You accuse him of being a receiver of swollen goods? How very dare you.... :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 27, 2013, 6:54pm; Reply: 280
The phone that never rings, hasn't stopped ringing. :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 27, 2013, 10:41pm; Reply: 281
Barbequing under an umbrella.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 28, 2013, 7:14pm; Reply: 282
So this is the place to be?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 28, 2013, 8:52pm; Reply: 283
"Who's in charge here?"
Posted by: dannylee, May 28, 2013, 9:50pm; Reply: 284
Been there many times before
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 28, 2013, 9:53pm; Reply: 285
The diction wasn't very good.....
Posted by: dannylee, May 28, 2013, 10:15pm; Reply: 286
There spelling and grammer is not good ether
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 28, 2013, 10:19pm; Reply: 287
If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, stop exaggerating...
Posted by: dannylee, May 28, 2013, 10:25pm; Reply: 288
The picture just fell to the floor
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 28, 2013, 10:39pm; Reply: 289
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair, said Simple Simon to the pie man' "give us a pie ya greedy basturt"
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 29, 2013, 6:38pm; Reply: 290
Who?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 29, 2013, 6:44pm; Reply: 291
Mary had a little lamb, it wouldn't stop it's gruntin', i took it behind a hedge one day, and kicked it's little head in.......and you thought i was gonna say teeth... ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 29, 2013, 6:49pm; Reply: 292
Pourquoi?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 29, 2013, 6:50pm; Reply: 293
Guinness say kwah??
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 29, 2013, 6:52pm; Reply: 294
Friendly internationals.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 29, 2013, 6:55pm; Reply: 295
i'm only 81 posts behind ya SENGA.  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 29, 2013, 6:59pm; Reply: 296
Must.....keep.....posting.........
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 29, 2013, 8:02pm; Reply: 297
I'm on it.....careful, i'll do the jokes.
Posted by: dannylee, May 29, 2013, 10:34pm; Reply: 298
Nothing like a spot of pig wrestling to pass the time
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 29, 2013, 10:52pm; Reply: 299
Well I came 5 minutes sgo, would you mind getting off me now, I'm in need of some shut-eye...
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 30, 2013, 6:32pm; Reply: 300
I will never post in the wrong thread.
Posted by: dannylee, May 30, 2013, 6:35pm; Reply: 301
Yes, but I've always done it this way!
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 30, 2013, 7:44pm; Reply: 302
The price of cushions.
Posted by: dannylee, May 30, 2013, 8:36pm; Reply: 303
Cherry Coke
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 31, 2013, 6:42am; Reply: 304
Goodness gracious, great balls of belly button fluff.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 31, 2013, 7:17pm; Reply: 305
Repeating myself.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 31, 2013, 9:42pm; Reply: 306
The boy stood on the burning deck, eating red hot scallops,

One went down his trouser front and burnt him on the ankle...

Never went near his bollocks.  ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 1, 2013, 8:51am; Reply: 307
June.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 1, 2013, 9:24am; Reply: 308
I'd walk a million miles......to get rid of these piles....my mammmy!!
Posted by: dannylee, June 1, 2013, 10:32am; Reply: 309
Surely my bum looks big in this!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 1, 2013, 12:55pm; Reply: 310
No i won't be a Nun, i will live a life of pleasure, no i won't be a Nun, no i won't be a Nun...
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 1, 2013, 7:04pm; Reply: 311
Britain's Got Talent.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 1, 2013, 9:19pm; Reply: 312
On call and sober on a Saturday night watching BGT, it really doesn't get any worse.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 1, 2013, 9:25pm; Reply: 313
Dannylee's 1000th post is but 6 away.......it's gonna be momentous, and perhaps a small prize should be bestowed upon him??  :P
Posted by: dannylee, June 1, 2013, 9:28pm; Reply: 314
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
On call and sober on a Saturday night watching BGT, it really doesn't get any worse.


Turn off the phone, have a drink, but more importantly turn the TV over!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 1, 2013, 9:32pm; Reply: 315
Quoted from dannylee


Turn off the phone, have a drink, but more importantly turn the TV over!



Well i would but nae doot someone would require my professional services if i did!

TV turned over to Britain's Got More Talent....i'm so needing to have a word with myself.... :B

Posted by: chemicalboy, June 1, 2013, 9:35pm; Reply: 316
Quoted from OomphPoomftie

........ professional services.


**Makes no obvious comment. ;)**
Posted by: dannylee, June 1, 2013, 9:38pm; Reply: 317
Bored now
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 2, 2013, 12:10am; Reply: 318
Quoted from chemicalboy


**Makes no obvious comment. ;)**



I am a Funeral Director on call every 2nd weekend check out ma website, there's even a fetching photo of me! (Well, not reallly)


http://www.johnstoddartfunerals.co.uk
Posted by: dannylee, June 2, 2013, 2:45pm; Reply: 319
Shaving
Posted by: dannylee, June 2, 2013, 2:46pm; Reply: 320
Quoted from OomphPoomftie



I am a Funeral Director on call every 2nd weekend check out ma website, there's even a fetching photo of me! (Well, not reallly)


http://www.johnstoddartfunerals.co.uk


Left or right?
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 2, 2013, 3:27pm; Reply: 321
Feeling Sleepy.
Posted by: Pughie, June 2, 2013, 5:19pm; Reply: 322
Quoted from dannylee


Left or right?


The photo gallery was a letdown,not a single corpse to be seen.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 2, 2013, 9:14pm; Reply: 323
Quoted from Pughie


The photo gallery was a letdown,not a single corpse to be seen.




Dannylee, that's me on the left, older brother on the right, i've since had a haircut and shave... :-/



Pughie, the clients were out the back on deckchairs.... ;D



Posted by: Pughie, June 2, 2013, 9:44pm; Reply: 324
Quoted from OomphPoomftie




Dannylee, that's me on the left, older brother on the right, i've since had a haircut and shave... :-/



Pughie, the clients were out the back on deckchairs.... ;D





No doubt relaxing with a stiff drink.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 2, 2013, 9:57pm; Reply: 325
Very good Boss!

We're easy to find, in the dead centre of town' it's a dying trade, people are just dying to see us, everyday we let folk down...

All these and many more have quoted over the years...


Back on topic...

I met the wife in the tunnel of love....she was digging it.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 3, 2013, 7:00pm; Reply: 326
Norton renewal prices - at least twice the amount to renew rather than buy the same product again.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 3, 2013, 7:48pm; Reply: 327
Curried Chickpeas making me cough in my pants... :B
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 4, 2013, 6:43pm; Reply: 328
Awkwardness purely for the sake of being awkward.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 4, 2013, 9:45pm; Reply: 329
"The bar doesn't stock Malibu"
Posted by: dannylee, June 4, 2013, 10:13pm; Reply: 330
Wrapping presents
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 5, 2013, 7:34am; Reply: 331
It's a fine night for singing.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 5, 2013, 7:09pm; Reply: 332
Penalty
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 5, 2013, 7:27pm; Reply: 333
and the watermelon was grown in infested waters and she suffered the most terrible dysantry.
Posted by: dannylee, June 5, 2013, 10:11pm; Reply: 334
and after a period of absence he returned with a big grin
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 5, 2013, 10:25pm; Reply: 335
And if you even attempt to put it up there I'll bite it off and put it up yours.
Posted by: dannylee, June 5, 2013, 10:28pm; Reply: 336
Put that back where it came from before dad sees it
Posted by: dannylee, June 5, 2013, 10:32pm; Reply: 337
How many light bulbs does it take to ruin a joke
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 5, 2013, 10:57pm; Reply: 338
I'll make smile on the other side of your face...what are you gonna do, slash me??
Posted by: dannylee, June 6, 2013, 9:45am; Reply: 339
Does it come with a remote control?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 6, 2013, 12:20pm; Reply: 340
Oh you've finished, sorry.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 6, 2013, 6:44pm; Reply: 341
When I said I hoped you would turn out like my mum, I didn't mean by shagging my dad.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 6, 2013, 7:03pm; Reply: 342
"I bought a pound of beef for a shilling at Covent Garden", "A pound of beef for a shilling at covent garden? what was it, mutton?" "No rotten."
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 6, 2013, 7:14pm; Reply: 343
"Personally I can't wait until the day when we are all just a number" said Mr Aripitanorinobalavansan.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 6, 2013, 7:53pm; Reply: 344
"You look a million dollars......pity it's all in loose change though."
Posted by: dannylee, June 6, 2013, 10:26pm; Reply: 345
A neat trim would be good
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 6, 2013, 10:29pm; Reply: 346
It's 3  flights dear, hoofin it all the way.
Posted by: dannylee, June 6, 2013, 10:35pm; Reply: 347
Why can't you be more like me?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 7, 2013, 5:41am; Reply: 348
Just one more thing, Sir.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 7, 2013, 5:38pm; Reply: 349
Christmas tree's up.
Posted by: dannylee, June 7, 2013, 7:14pm; Reply: 350
How and why the adverbs tell
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 7, 2013, 7:46pm; Reply: 351
The brown chair with the 3 bears in it.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 8, 2013, 12:34am; Reply: 352
I'll have one for the road and that is positively it...
Posted by: dannylee, June 8, 2013, 9:16am; Reply: 353
Mmusst eeatt cake  :o
Posted by: mr.m, June 8, 2013, 11:09am; Reply: 354
pills and thrills and dollar bills ... i care and buddhism is the key. even when it goes misunderstood or unappreciated. tho i'm a bit more hindu because it's more colorful. but the zen thing is cool too. yin to the yang, vince to the andy.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 8, 2013, 7:10pm; Reply: 355
I have travelled many miles to reach you and here is the message that I bring........Moan, moan, moan, moan,.....................................
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 9, 2013, 6:01pm; Reply: 356
I'm a pink toothbrush, you're a blue toothbrush.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 10, 2013, 4:10pm; Reply: 357
The dog is currently painting the kitchen brown with his own mixture. :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 10, 2013, 5:39pm; Reply: 358
Wot a picture, wot a picture, rum-tiddly-umm-tum-tum-tum-tum...stick it in ya family album.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 10, 2013, 7:31pm; Reply: 359
Milly On.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 10, 2013, 8:11pm; Reply: 360
Boom-oo-ya-ta-ta-ta
Posted by: dannylee, June 10, 2013, 9:58pm; Reply: 361
Aaah.  Why did you have to do that
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 10, 2013, 10:22pm; Reply: 362
And she is semi-shoofti for getting a job
Posted by: dannylee, June 10, 2013, 10:45pm; Reply: 363
....and after rattling of his speech the audience had lost their appetite
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 11, 2013, 5:36am; Reply: 364
Try and follow that with the Sea Lions.
Posted by: dannylee, June 11, 2013, 12:21pm; Reply: 365
....getting stuck in a hula hoop
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 11, 2013, 1:44pm; Reply: 366
Multiple meaningless words in the Word Association thread....not quite cricket don't you know.  :P
Posted by: dannylee, June 12, 2013, 3:46pm; Reply: 367
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Multiple meaningless words in the Word Association thread....not quite cricket don't you know.  :P


A psychiatrist would be having a field day
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 12, 2013, 3:48pm; Reply: 368
Quoted from dannylee


A psychiatrist would be having a field day


Too many Jamaican Woodbines me thinks... ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 12, 2013, 6:56pm; Reply: 369
Bonfire in the rain.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 12, 2013, 7:57pm; Reply: 370
"Mess off a shovel"  .... i'm sure i originally typed sh1t.
Posted by: dannylee, June 12, 2013, 8:15pm; Reply: 371
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
"Mess off a shovel"  .... i'm sure i originally typed sh1t.


Productive test
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 12, 2013, 8:47pm; Reply: 372
Dumbing down.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 13, 2013, 6:28pm; Reply: 373
I love you like a pyromaniac loves their lighter.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 13, 2013, 6:43pm; Reply: 374
Anyone with a funny walk, anyone who don't like apple pie on Sundays, anyone who hasn't seen a Demi Reynolds movie, we'll round 'em up, put 'em

in a field, and bomb the bastards!!
Posted by: Pughie, June 13, 2013, 7:36pm; Reply: 375
Just sat down to watch new Die Hard film and it's bloody Blu-Ray,bastard HMV limited edition steel book.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 13, 2013, 7:54pm; Reply: 376
Quoted from Pughie
Just sat down to watch new Die Hard film and it's bloody Blu-Ray,bastard HMV limited edition steel book.




Language, Timothy!!  ;D

Posted by: chemicalboy, June 15, 2013, 5:18pm; Reply: 377
Happy Feet
Posted by: dannylee, June 15, 2013, 5:50pm; Reply: 378
Double glazing salesmen
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 15, 2013, 5:53pm; Reply: 379
The man who sprays yellow marks around potholes.
Posted by: dannylee, June 15, 2013, 5:57pm; Reply: 380
Quoted from chemicalboy
The man who sprays yellow marks around potholes.


Or dead bodies  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 15, 2013, 11:50pm; Reply: 381
Quoted from dannylee


Or dead bodies  ;)


Did someone call?!  :P


Traffic calming things you can just drive right over.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 16, 2013, 6:35pm; Reply: 382
Independence declared at 6 years of age.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 16, 2013, 8:42pm; Reply: 383
How discomknockerated i am.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 18, 2013, 5:39pm; Reply: 384
Love.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 18, 2013, 5:52pm; Reply: 385
Tonight, the guest singer will be performing songs from her award winning album "Songs That Won The War" and also a few from her new album "Songs That Started It"
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 19, 2013, 7:13pm; Reply: 386
The pigeon who exploded whilst attacking my indicator light at 60mph.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 19, 2013, 9:13pm; Reply: 387
I'll shove a couple of creepers up yer trellis.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 20, 2013, 6:12pm; Reply: 388
Betting odds.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 20, 2013, 7:37pm; Reply: 389
Anti-wrinkle cream for scrotums.



(My 1,000th post   :) )
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 20, 2013, 8:07pm; Reply: 390
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Anti-wrinkle cream for scrotums.



(My 1,000th post   :) )



Congratulations. A more fitting post I could not imagine. :P ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 20, 2013, 8:57pm; Reply: 391
I'm sweating like a 70's tv presenter.
Posted by: dannylee, June 21, 2013, 7:14am; Reply: 392
Turn that shirt down

(Congrats Oomph  :))
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 21, 2013, 10:06am; Reply: 393
( Cheers Peeps  :) )


I'm as nervous as a turkey with Bernard Matthews walking towards it carrying a packet of Paxo, whistling Christmas Carols.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 21, 2013, 4:59pm; Reply: 394
No hickory. No dickory. No dock.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 21, 2013, 5:08pm; Reply: 395
Agnes is gonna be the 3rd 1,000th poster before the weekend is out... :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 21, 2013, 5:48pm; Reply: 396
Posh Nosh.
Posted by: dannylee, June 21, 2013, 6:35pm; Reply: 397
Strumpets R Us
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 21, 2013, 6:56pm; Reply: 398
Stuff.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 22, 2013, 6:51am; Reply: 399
And it was fast cars and whisky, long legged girls and fun, i had everything that money could bring, and i took it all with a gun.
Posted by: dannylee, June 22, 2013, 8:17am; Reply: 400
Planes, trains & Automobiles............plus bike and a bit of walking
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 22, 2013, 8:28am; Reply: 401
Lions with irons.
Posted by: dannylee, June 22, 2013, 8:34am; Reply: 402
In Zion
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 22, 2013, 9:28am; Reply: 403
Sunshine on a rainy day.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 22, 2013, 9:55am; Reply: 404
She had the most unusual lips.....both on top.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 22, 2013, 11:40pm; Reply: 405
Agnes's 1000th post (his next one) is going to be deep, meaningful and not nasty to me or dannylee.  :P  ::)
Posted by: dannylee, June 23, 2013, 8:15am; Reply: 406
Agnes, as I may not be around when you make your last ever post, I just wanted to say that it has been a pleasure.  The joy you brought to this board has been unmeasurable. I wish you all the very best for the future.

I must stop now as I am becoming emotional.  :'(

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 23, 2013, 9:58am; Reply: 407
Agnes has had a team of top scriptwriters working round the clock ensuring his 1,000th post is hilarious, punchy & topical... ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 23, 2013, 10:28am; Reply: 408
:) :) :)1000 :) :) :)

Not deep nor meaningful and definitely not my last. :P
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 23, 2013, 9:03pm; Reply: 409
Chocolate Nut Sundae, without the nuts.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 24, 2013, 7:03pm; Reply: 410
Non electronic devices.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 24, 2013, 8:53pm; Reply: 411
She had beautiful blonde hair all down her back....none on her head.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 25, 2013, 7:37pm; Reply: 412
Time passing by........
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 25, 2013, 10:14pm; Reply: 413
You come up to see me? You come up to see me aintcha.
Posted by: dannylee, June 25, 2013, 11:20pm; Reply: 414
Waiting for jeans to dry
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 26, 2013, 7:27am; Reply: 415
Posting band names and song titles in the wrong thread.  >:(
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 26, 2013, 6:55pm; Reply: 416
Pay to play footballers.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 26, 2013, 7:20pm; Reply: 417
Kiss ma swingers ya foosty auld basturt ye...
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 26, 2013, 7:28pm; Reply: 418
Puppet for sale. No strings attached.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 26, 2013, 8:17pm; Reply: 419
Leopardskin For Sale....Condition : Spotless
Posted by: dannylee, June 26, 2013, 11:27pm; Reply: 420
Microwave's broken try the taser
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 27, 2013, 7:56am; Reply: 421
Run it under the cold tap for five minutes, it'll be fine.
Posted by: dannylee, June 27, 2013, 8:09am; Reply: 422
Nope, it doesn't come in grey
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 27, 2013, 8:17am; Reply: 423
I detest him that much i'd like to constantly ram his head thru a television set.
Posted by: dannylee, June 27, 2013, 11:47am; Reply: 424
So I told him that two chickens were just not enough
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 27, 2013, 1:08pm; Reply: 425
Parking for 3 days straight in a 20 minute bay outside my office...the bastards have a parking ticket now tho... ho ho ho, 'tis to laugh.  :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 27, 2013, 7:08pm; Reply: 426
Worrying about nothing.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 27, 2013, 9:18pm; Reply: 427
Use the batteries out the Sky remote for it then and finish yourself off.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 28, 2013, 4:09pm; Reply: 428
No hiding place for relaxation.......
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 28, 2013, 4:25pm; Reply: 429
Look love, ah'm no a feckin' machine.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 29, 2013, 7:25pm; Reply: 430
Cracking nuts.
Posted by: dannylee, June 29, 2013, 11:17pm; Reply: 431
How much chilli did you put in this? !
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 30, 2013, 8:45am; Reply: 432
Underwater tennis? Let's go to Swimbledon!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 30, 2013, 9:47am; Reply: 433
De-constructed Dessert....so ye couldnae be arsed flingin it aw together then?
Posted by: suec, June 30, 2013, 12:26pm; Reply: 434
A tyre round the belly that won't bugger off, exercise and healthy food has been in progress for 10 days
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 1, 2013, 9:59pm; Reply: 435
Shampoo and set in the morning....well a haircut anyway.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 3, 2013, 6:45pm; Reply: 436
Throbbing finger. >:(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 4, 2013, 7:37am; Reply: 437
I think i'll go to work as my twin sister today.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 5, 2013, 2:59pm; Reply: 438
Floor. Compressor. Heat. Beams. Rubbish.
Posted by: Savannah, July 5, 2013, 10:52pm; Reply: 439
I worked myself through this thread and I must admit I hardly understood anything  ;D ;D ;D Never mind. Could it be utter rubbish that I got to know? I wonder ...
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 6, 2013, 7:02am; Reply: 440
Trying to understand things around here.....steady on!
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 6, 2013, 5:12pm; Reply: 441
Drug addicts on bicycles.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 7, 2013, 5:50am; Reply: 442
Some feckin cnut editing my posts which do not require thank-you.
Posted by: dannylee, July 7, 2013, 9:41pm; Reply: 443
Where did that come from?..........Oh, over there.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 8, 2013, 1:18pm; Reply: 444
Content coming soon! Yeah, so will i be.  :P
Posted by: dannylee, July 8, 2013, 10:33pm; Reply: 445
Blown out tyre on the M25  :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 8, 2013, 10:37pm; Reply: 446
"Oh Mr Darcy, you're giving me the vapours"
Posted by: dannylee, July 8, 2013, 10:45pm; Reply: 447
No Harry, I won't share my wand with you!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 8, 2013, 10:50pm; Reply: 448
'I hope your name is just not a cheap double.entendre as is the case in all the other Bond films, Miss Suckmeoff"
Posted by: dannylee, July 8, 2013, 10:54pm; Reply: 449
Sorry, just couldn't resist pushing that red button.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 8, 2013, 10:59pm; Reply: 450
Up in 7.5 hours and lying here aimlessly posting away inane drivel here, love it!
Posted by: dannylee, July 9, 2013, 10:40pm; Reply: 451
Quoted from dannylee
Blown out tyre on the M25  :-/


And now the battery is dead

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 9, 2013, 10:41pm; Reply: 452
Dannylee's wing mirror needs a new car... :-/
Posted by: dannylee, July 9, 2013, 10:55pm; Reply: 453
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Dannylee's wing mirror needs a new car... :-/


And the tax reminder came through today  ??)  Time to take up cycling methinks  :o
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 10, 2013, 4:33pm; Reply: 454
dannylee cycling to studio34 on a penny farthing.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 10, 2013, 7:03pm; Reply: 455
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Dannylee's wing mirror needs a new car... :-/


;D ;D ;D Love it.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 10, 2013, 10:24pm; Reply: 456
With regret, you're fired.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 11, 2013, 4:39pm; Reply: 457
Birthday blues.
Posted by: dannylee, July 11, 2013, 6:30pm; Reply: 458
Quoted from chemicalboy
Birthday blues.


Is it your birthday?  If it is many happy returns, misery!  ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 11, 2013, 7:14pm; Reply: 459
Quoted from dannylee


Is it your birthday?  If it is many happy returns, misery!  ;)


T'is indeedy. 21 again......*cough* ;D
Posted by: Savannah, July 11, 2013, 8:19pm; Reply: 460
Twentyone ...  on the edge teetering ... Utter rubbish!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 11, 2013, 11:32pm; Reply: 461
Agnes is 21 + VAT + a little bit more... ;) :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 12, 2013, 6:55am; Reply: 462
Waking up and thinking it was Saturday morning. Stupid boy.....
Posted by: Savannah, July 12, 2013, 8:43am; Reply: 463
Quoted from chemicalboy
Waking up and thinking it was Saturday morning. Stupid boy.....
Happens to me every day when I`m on holidays, actually. Never happens to me that I think, I`m 21 `though

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 12, 2013, 1:53pm; Reply: 464
I'm outside Agnes's front door and he's pretending not to be in.   :P
Posted by: dannylee, July 12, 2013, 5:21pm; Reply: 465
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Dannylee's wing mirror needs a new car... :-/


Car sales(persons)!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 12, 2013, 6:47pm; Reply: 466
Arfur Daley...a nice little earner perhaps...?! Only 1 careful lady owner....6 male hashy ones too...
Posted by: Savannah, July 12, 2013, 8:11pm; Reply: 467
H E L P !!!   ??)   I`m addicted to this forum!  >:(  And this fact is UTTER RUBBISH!!! Get me out of here!
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 12, 2013, 8:34pm; Reply: 468
Mainly on these days I beg of you to please stay.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 12, 2013, 8:51pm; Reply: 469
This week, i'll be mostly eating Bourbon Biscuits.
Posted by: dannylee, July 12, 2013, 9:35pm; Reply: 470
Pickled onion and a cup of tea, you know you want to!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 12, 2013, 10:03pm; Reply: 471
Don't be shy, show's yer pie, gie's a gobble.
Posted by: dannylee, July 12, 2013, 10:19pm; Reply: 472
I said ram it not rabbit
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 12, 2013, 10:22pm; Reply: 473
You can always tell her man's on the night shift, the street lights start to dim...
Posted by: dannylee, July 12, 2013, 10:37pm; Reply: 474
Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fattest of them all?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 13, 2013, 8:14am; Reply: 475
Here I sit broken hearted, paid a penny and only farted.  :-/
Posted by: dannylee, July 13, 2013, 8:47am; Reply: 476
Fluff
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 13, 2013, 9:06am; Reply: 477
When the red red robin, goes bob bob bobbing along...
Posted by: dannylee, July 13, 2013, 11:23am; Reply: 478
Why does this guy keep wanting to put cheese on and toast my chicken tikka sub?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 13, 2013, 1:26pm; Reply: 479
He's anybody's for a tin of beans...
Posted by: dannylee, July 13, 2013, 8:18pm; Reply: 480
Sporks
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 14, 2013, 12:34am; Reply: 481
My hobbies include plamphing and masterbating.
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2013, 10:43am; Reply: 482
Gazebo's on fire again
Posted by: Savannah, July 14, 2013, 7:40pm; Reply: 483
Quoted from chemicalboy
Mainly on these days I beg of you to please stay.

Is that utter rubbish or just a line of a song?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 14, 2013, 8:34pm; Reply: 484
Why is your bum so hard? Do you leave it out at night?  :-/
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2013, 9:00pm; Reply: 485
How hot?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 14, 2013, 10:03pm; Reply: 486
Central heatings going back on.
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2013, 10:51pm; Reply: 487
20 degrees here tonight
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 14, 2013, 11:54pm; Reply: 488
Goodness Gracious, Great Balls Of Fluff.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 15, 2013, 6:11pm; Reply: 489
Quoted from Savannah

Is that utter rubbish or just a line of a song?


Complete and utter b*llocks. ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 9:01pm; Reply: 490
Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Oo-oomph, happy birthday to me... :P
Posted by: Savannah, July 15, 2013, 9:15pm; Reply: 491
Can I blow your lights out?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 9:54pm; Reply: 492
Another winner there Sommorset, eh?  ;)
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2013, 10:07pm; Reply: 493
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Oo-oomph, happy birthday to me... :P


Is it?  Surely not that close to Agnes'
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 10:23pm; Reply: 494
No it's April 12th, this is the Utter Rubbish thread after all!!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2013, 10:26pm; Reply: 495
Utter rubbish, or just sad?  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 10:33pm; Reply: 496
Well I suppose it is sad singing happy birthday to yourself! But it genuinely is April 12th.  I'll be 45.  :(
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2013, 10:35pm; Reply: 497
I'll put it in the diary mate
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 10:42pm; Reply: 498
Cheers mucker. My avatar age only says 43 for some reason although it's all filled correctly on my settings, it's making me a year younger.

Just tried to reply to "Cat" with "Pu55y" in the Word Association thread and the "naughty word" filter changed it to "Girl Private"!!!!!



Severe dumbing down or what??????  :B
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 11:01pm; Reply: 499
Cnut spelled properly is allowed!!! Bloody unreal!
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2013, 11:10pm; Reply: 500
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Cheers mucker. My avatar age only says 43 for some reason although it's all filled correctly on my settings, it's making me a year younger.


Dyslexic computers

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 15, 2013, 11:18pm; Reply: 501
I'm getting married in the morning, ding-dong the bells are gonna chime..... OK I'm not really.
Posted by: Savannah, July 16, 2013, 8:58am; Reply: 502
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
My avatar age only says 43 for some reason although it's all filled correctly on my settings,  :B
Well, according to my avatar I`m a year older    >:(. Don`t like that either. I filled it in correctly as well ... and that is no utter rubbish!

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 16, 2013, 11:22am; Reply: 503
Booking a double time slot at the Crematorium so you can totally bore the pants off of everyone with a long winded eulogy.
Posted by: dannylee, July 16, 2013, 1:16pm; Reply: 504
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Booking a double time slot at the Crematorium so you can totally bore the pants off of everyone with a long winded eulogy.


Knock 'em dead  :B ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 16, 2013, 1:48pm; Reply: 505
Key change halfway through a hymn.
Posted by: dannylee, July 16, 2013, 7:25pm; Reply: 506
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Key change halfway through a hymn.


Variety is the spice of life, or in your case death!  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 16, 2013, 8:34pm; Reply: 507
Girl Private!
Posted by: dannylee, July 16, 2013, 8:59pm; Reply: 508
Meow
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 16, 2013, 9:06pm; Reply: 509
Mrs Slocombe's favourite pet.
Posted by: dannylee, July 16, 2013, 9:19pm; Reply: 510
Can't stop eating Pringles
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 16, 2013, 10:42pm; Reply: 511
I thought Agnes had hijacked your account there Dan!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, July 17, 2013, 3:59pm; Reply: 512
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
I thought Agnes had hijacked your account there Dan!  ;D


It's the only thing Agnes refuses to eat  ;) ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 17, 2013, 10:55pm; Reply: 513
Two 50ml Brandy's and cream soda, 5 pints of 80 Bob ale then a  further four 50ml Brandy's and cream soda. A quiet Wednesday...
Posted by: dannylee, July 17, 2013, 11:00pm; Reply: 514
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Two 50ml Brandy's and cream soda, 5 pints of 80 Bob ale then a  further four 50ml Brandy's and cream soda. A quiet Wednesday...


Why ruin perfectly good cream soda with brandy   ;)  ;) ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 17, 2013, 11:07pm; Reply: 515
Taxi for Daniel!!!!
Posted by: dannylee, July 18, 2013, 8:47am; Reply: 516
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Taxi for Daniel!!!!


All this cream soda is making me feel very unwell
Posted by: Savannah, July 18, 2013, 10:22am; Reply: 517
So you DO crawl on dancefloors being utterly drunk?  ;) ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 18, 2013, 6:50pm; Reply: 518
I'm sweating like a glassblowers arse...
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 18, 2013, 10:28pm; Reply: 519
They don't like it up 'em sir, they don't like it up 'em!
Posted by: dannylee, July 18, 2013, 11:13pm; Reply: 520
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
I'm sweating like a glassblowers arse...


I didn't know they used their arses!  :D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 19, 2013, 12:17pm; Reply: 521
Well done, just wondered who"d be the first to spot that...
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 20, 2013, 8:07am; Reply: 522
Cloudy day in the middle of a heat wave.
Posted by: Savannah, July 20, 2013, 9:23am; Reply: 523
That was yesterday! (Well, in Germany!)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 20, 2013, 10:33am; Reply: 524
This is today in the Garden City.  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 20, 2013, 6:45pm; Reply: 525
He kept all the babies quiet. What a dummy...........
Posted by: dannylee, July 20, 2013, 7:55pm; Reply: 526
The ear piercings have started today
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 21, 2013, 5:21am; Reply: 527
Going on holiday, won't be on here for a while.
Posted by: dannylee, July 21, 2013, 7:18am; Reply: 528
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Going on holiday, won't be on here for a while.


Have a great one!

......I expect you to either buy a smartphone or find an internet cafe  :P
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 22, 2013, 12:39pm; Reply: 529
(I'm only going off to Ma'gate, which is at the bottom of Ma'Garden!)




Early to bed, early to rise, no jolly good if you don't advertise.
Posted by: dannylee, July 22, 2013, 2:39pm; Reply: 530
The sound of ceiling fans constantly whirring
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 22, 2013, 9:55pm; Reply: 531
It's a boy, the future king of england. Had away an shite feckin media .
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 22, 2013, 10:07pm; Reply: 532
girl private not girl private... ;)
Posted by: dannylee, July 22, 2013, 10:40pm; Reply: 533
Oops the 'cat' is out the bag again  ::)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 23, 2013, 10:33pm; Reply: 534
Royal Baby is black, Kate labelled a dirty....
Posted by: dannylee, July 23, 2013, 11:17pm; Reply: 535
Yes, your bum looks big in everything
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 24, 2013, 8:13am; Reply: 536
The secret takeover.
Posted by: dannylee, July 24, 2013, 10:25am; Reply: 537
There wasn't any snakes on my plane
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 24, 2013, 11:49am; Reply: 538
They'll know by the tone of my voice who's in charge....you better come with me.
Posted by: dannylee, July 24, 2013, 12:31pm; Reply: 539
Don't blame it on the dog, it was me
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 24, 2013, 12:46pm; Reply: 540
I'm worried about Nemo, he's looking a little fin.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 24, 2013, 1:57pm; Reply: 541
Well that was a surprise, i thought she looked like a girl....
Posted by: dannylee, July 24, 2013, 2:16pm; Reply: 542
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Well that was a surprise, i thought she looked like a girl....


I would hate a girl to look like a man though!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 24, 2013, 3:28pm; Reply: 543
Quoted from dannylee


I would hate a girl to look like a man though!



I've a friend who does! Bats for the other side tho.  ;)

Posted by: chemicalboy, July 25, 2013, 11:35am; Reply: 544
Woman Has Baby. (Borrowed from Private Eye but sums up recent events perfectly)
Posted by: dannylee, July 25, 2013, 12:47pm; Reply: 545
It pains me to say it, but bu**er off!
Posted by: suec, July 25, 2013, 3:09pm; Reply: 546
Dull times
Posted by: dannylee, July 25, 2013, 5:25pm; Reply: 547
Unnecessary shop refits
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 25, 2013, 10:25pm; Reply: 548
House removals with plenty of stairs and a 17 stone client. :(
Posted by: dannylee, July 26, 2013, 7:47pm; Reply: 549
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
House removals with plenty of stairs and a 17 stone client. :(


Sorry we dropped him! (I assume it was a he?)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 26, 2013, 8:10pm; Reply: 550
Quoted from dannylee


Sorry we dropped him! (I assume it was a he?)


Yes he was....never dropped him though....professional to a T, that's  me.  ;)
Posted by: dannylee, July 26, 2013, 8:31pm; Reply: 551
Quoted from OomphPoomftie


Yes he was....never dropped him though....professional to a T, that's  me.  ;)


Wouldn't it be easier to put him in the coffin and push it down the stairs  :B :B

I know, I know, I'm still going to burn in hell  :o
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 26, 2013, 8:51pm; Reply: 552
Time for your meds and the boxing gloves to go on daniel......you know it's for your own good that you wear them in beddy-byes.... ::)
Posted by: dannylee, July 26, 2013, 8:57pm; Reply: 553
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Time for your meds and the boxing gloves to go on daniel......you know it's for your own good that you wear them in beddy-byes.... ::)


But my meds keep me awake at night  :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 26, 2013, 8:59pm; Reply: 554
But the boxing gloves stop you playing the hairy banjo..... :B
Posted by: dannylee, July 26, 2013, 9:03pm; Reply: 555
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
But the boxing gloves stop you playing the hairy banjo..... :B


I just wet myself!   ??)  ;D ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 26, 2013, 9:06pm; Reply: 556
Incontanance Pants for Daniel, Room 3 please......!!! ;D
Posted by: dannylee, July 26, 2013, 9:09pm; Reply: 557
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Incontanance Pants for Daniel, Room 3 please......!!! ;D


They only let me on the computer at certain times
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 26, 2013, 9:53pm; Reply: 558
He's got a Spam filter, but he keeps trying to eat it.
Posted by: dannylee, July 27, 2013, 10:13pm; Reply: 559
Midriffs that really shouldn't be seen
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 28, 2013, 2:09am; Reply: 560
So you've seen the ex wife then...
Posted by: dannylee, July 28, 2013, 7:17pm; Reply: 561
People that park over driveways
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 29, 2013, 6:38pm; Reply: 562
The new neighbours are not from around these parts.......
Posted by: dannylee, July 29, 2013, 6:46pm; Reply: 563
Foxy Bingo adverts
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 29, 2013, 7:17pm; Reply: 564
dannylee is gonna sit at 1600 posts for a wee while to let me and Agnes catch up....... ;)
Posted by: dannylee, July 29, 2013, 8:12pm; Reply: 565
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
dannylee is gonna sit at 1600 posts for a wee while to let me and Agnes catch up....... ;)


Yep, you put it in the right thread  :P
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 29, 2013, 9:01pm; Reply: 566
Quoted from dannylee


Yep, you put it in the right thread  :P



Swine!!  ;D

Posted by: dannylee, July 29, 2013, 9:31pm; Reply: 567
But you said I could
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 29, 2013, 9:41pm; Reply: 568
And then inexplicably, all his fingers fell off and he couldn't post anymore...
Posted by: dannylee, July 29, 2013, 9:45pm; Reply: 569
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
And then inexplicably, all his fingers fell off and he couldn't post anymore...


You sending the boys round?  ??)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 29, 2013, 9:48pm; Reply: 570
Ah'm sending the gay mafia round, they won't harm you though, they' just criticise your curtains!, lol  :P
Posted by: dannylee, July 29, 2013, 9:53pm; Reply: 571
Money can't find you happiness but it sure helps with the search
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 30, 2013, 11:12am; Reply: 572
Another one? Oh go on then ah'll force it down.
Posted by: dannylee, July 30, 2013, 11:41am; Reply: 573
Yep, I can fit you in, in about a fortnight
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 30, 2013, 10:01pm; Reply: 574
Do you smoke the beef??
Posted by: dannylee, July 30, 2013, 10:32pm; Reply: 575
Yep it is a tight fit, but hey ho.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 31, 2013, 3:00pm; Reply: 576
Yer needing to get some of that weight off ye ya fat twat, it's 'angin...
Posted by: dannylee, July 31, 2013, 5:02pm; Reply: 577
Don't put that in the dishwasher again
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, July 31, 2013, 11:41pm; Reply: 578
They're doin a sponsored walk round you later...
Posted by: dannylee, July 31, 2013, 11:55pm; Reply: 579
Flip flops to you too.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 1, 2013, 9:31am; Reply: 580
Look at the size of you, they'll be showing cartoons on yer back.
Posted by: Pughie, August 1, 2013, 9:58am; Reply: 581
I tell you it added up to 7!!!
Posted by: dannylee, August 1, 2013, 3:51pm; Reply: 582
It's a shame I had to punch you
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 1, 2013, 3:54pm; Reply: 583
I'll swap you my two nuns for that silver ball cupper
Posted by: dannylee, August 1, 2013, 4:05pm; Reply: 584
Using a sledgehammer to crack my nuts  :'(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 1, 2013, 6:53pm; Reply: 585
Show a leg.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 1, 2013, 7:25pm; Reply: 586
Office shrines to family and friends.
Posted by: dannylee, August 1, 2013, 7:26pm; Reply: 587
Monkeys made of brass
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 2, 2013, 3:42pm; Reply: 588
Pet insurance
Posted by: dannylee, August 2, 2013, 4:06pm; Reply: 589
Nope, it can't be done.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 2, 2013, 6:25pm; Reply: 590
Yes it can. :P
Posted by: dannylee, August 2, 2013, 6:50pm; Reply: 591
Dreams can come true.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 3, 2013, 9:08am; Reply: 592
Morning.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 3, 2013, 9:24am; Reply: 593
¡¡¡ʇɥbıu ʇsɐן pǝuǝddɐɥ pɹıǝʍ buıɥʇǝɯos
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 5, 2013, 6:43pm; Reply: 594
Parking Apps.
Posted by: dannylee, August 5, 2013, 8:25pm; Reply: 595
Cherry on top
Posted by: Pughie, August 6, 2013, 12:19pm; Reply: 596
Cherry on bottom
Posted by: suec, August 6, 2013, 2:02pm; Reply: 597
Time going by slowly
Posted by: Savannah, August 7, 2013, 8:15am; Reply: 598
summertime going by far too fast!
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 7, 2013, 6:58pm; Reply: 599
Catch.
Posted by: dannylee, August 7, 2013, 7:28pm; Reply: 600
Jelly
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 8, 2013, 7:34pm; Reply: 601
The stick, the elephant and the ball.
Posted by: dannylee, August 8, 2013, 8:23pm; Reply: 602
If laughter is the best medicine then crying is the worst poison.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 9, 2013, 6:37pm; Reply: 603
Get your gums aroon ma plums, give us a gobble.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 9, 2013, 7:55pm; Reply: 604
The Helen Daniels conundrum.
Posted by: dannylee, August 9, 2013, 8:39pm; Reply: 605
People who are bad a faking being surprised.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 9, 2013, 9:24pm; Reply: 606
My heart is cheerful....it's never fearful...
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 9, 2013, 9:26pm; Reply: 607
They chirp and they chatter. what does it matter??
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 10, 2013, 7:12pm; Reply: 608
People who shout at other peoples golf balls.
Posted by: dannylee, August 10, 2013, 7:48pm; Reply: 609
Quoted from chemicalboy
People who shout at other peoples golf balls.


That's because you're not actually looking in the direction that the ball is travelling (shank anyone?). ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 11, 2013, 7:02pm; Reply: 610
What to do and when to do it.
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 7:27pm; Reply: 611
Pink plastic
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 8:30pm; Reply: 612
Two timin' Slim, who ever heard of him??
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 8:54pm; Reply: 613
Fish & chips on ya hips.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 8:59pm; Reply: 614
Calvin, Blake & Wilson, gambled in the dark, not one of them would ever live, to tell the tale of disembark.
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 9:11pm; Reply: 615
He retched after the moths were forced to depart his wallet.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 9:18pm; Reply: 616
And as he turned round, he broke wind very violently, and she turned to me and said "this place has gone off terribly!"
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 9:27pm; Reply: 617
Yes, I always keep it safely down my trousers.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 9:35pm; Reply: 618
"and the diction wasn't too good........"
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 9:41pm; Reply: 619
....Were you expecting prose?....
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 9:51pm; Reply: 620
Pughie as a Tranny in 'The Story'.....it writes itself really! Lol
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 10:12pm; Reply: 621
When the chips are down have a jacket.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 10:17pm; Reply: 622
Charlotte's a harlet, dresses in scarlet, Mary dresses in green, it's soon after midnight, and i've got a date with the fairy queen.
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 10:30pm; Reply: 623
Three flushes to let me know you're ok.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 10:57pm; Reply: 624
"i don't care what it is, i don't care who's it is, it's floating....get rid of it"
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 10:59pm; Reply: 625
Why drink tea when you can have me!  8)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 11:03pm; Reply: 626
Asparagus makes your pee smell funny!
Posted by: dannylee, August 11, 2013, 11:05pm; Reply: 627
Oomph eating Asparagus while sipping brandy and lemonades. What an image  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 11, 2013, 11:29pm; Reply: 628
It's all happening here in The Winchster, Rosyth's Premier Nightspot i'll tell you!! And i've just started ma holibags!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, August 12, 2013, 8:37pm; Reply: 629
The gurning competition was won by a newcomer who had had prunes for breakfast.
Posted by: Savannah, August 13, 2013, 8:22am; Reply: 630
Getting absolutely soaking wet in a downpour  >:(
Posted by: dannylee, August 13, 2013, 10:39am; Reply: 631
Glare
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 13, 2013, 8:54pm; Reply: 632
Izall Toilet Paper
Posted by: dannylee, August 13, 2013, 9:36pm; Reply: 633
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Izall Toilet Paper


Running out of toilet paper!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 13, 2013, 10:47pm; Reply: 634
Thank-you, and what an honour it is for you to have me.
Posted by: dannylee, August 13, 2013, 11:05pm; Reply: 635
Yep, that's me on page 4 with the stocking over my head.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 14, 2013, 1:07am; Reply: 636
A nasty lawyers letter from Pughie to me and dannylee after how The Story has  panned out... :P
Posted by: dannylee, August 14, 2013, 7:41am; Reply: 637
Oomph's dresses at cleaning cars.  But his buttless cowboy chaps make a pretty good chamois.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 14, 2013, 8:55am; Reply: 638
What's that squeak?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 14, 2013, 9:36am; Reply: 639
A photo of Agnes and his occupation.  :P
Posted by: Pughie, August 14, 2013, 9:53am; Reply: 640
Ouch I caught it in my zip
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 14, 2013, 6:23pm; Reply: 641
Ouch, i caught it in your zip... :-/
Posted by: dannylee, August 14, 2013, 6:27pm; Reply: 642
Well it appears that my zip is caught in you.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 14, 2013, 6:53pm; Reply: 643
Take your ring off it's hurting me....my ring? That's my wristwatch.
Posted by: dannylee, August 15, 2013, 10:27am; Reply: 644
Many thanks for doing that, I needed somewhere to park my bike.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 15, 2013, 11:02am; Reply: 645
'Ere are you one of the Wingate Boys? No I'm one of the Colgate Girls, 'an 'ere's me teeth to prove it!
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 15, 2013, 12:26pm; Reply: 646
£100
Posted by: dannylee, August 15, 2013, 2:33pm; Reply: 647
Mud
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 15, 2013, 6:23pm; Reply: 648
I'm a Belieber  :B
Posted by: dannylee, August 15, 2013, 7:32pm; Reply: 649
People that ignore sign posts and road markings.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 15, 2013, 11:28pm; Reply: 650
Another winner there Sommorset... ;)
Posted by: dannylee, August 16, 2013, 8:57am; Reply: 651
The dirty rascals nicked my bike chain.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 16, 2013, 9:49am; Reply: 652
Anymore of that and i'll skite the bunnet aff ye...


Posted by: dannylee, August 16, 2013, 10:26am; Reply: 653
Flies
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 16, 2013, 4:20pm; Reply: 654
OK Stirlin' oot the car.
Posted by: dannylee, August 16, 2013, 6:50pm; Reply: 655
Pond pumps
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 6:44am; Reply: 656
I thought she was a great lover until I found out she was asthmatic... :)
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 7:39am; Reply: 657
She looked long and hard at it before declaring "Sorry, it's not for me".
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 8:09am; Reply: 658
We met in the tunnel of love....she was digging it at the time.
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 8:29am; Reply: 659
And then he dropped a clanger.......it wasn't impressed. :(
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 2:31pm; Reply: 660
And she had the most beautiful long blonde hair all down her back....none on her head.  :P
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 2:45pm; Reply: 661
Oops I did it again........got to laugh eh
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 2:47pm; Reply: 662
That's the trouble with cocaine you see....very moreish.  ::)
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 2:53pm; Reply: 663
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
That's the trouble with cocaine you see....very moreish.  ::)

Just like a sherbet dib dab.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 3:39pm; Reply: 664
I could swear he pours Red Bull on his cornflakes...
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 4:45pm; Reply: 665
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
I could swear he pours Red Bull on his cornflakes...


No, but I put it in my tea  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 6:09pm; Reply: 666
Now that is contrary to the thread title!! ;D
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 7:11pm; Reply: 667
Lofts
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 7:57pm; Reply: 668
Your name's Flora? Oh ah love yer margerine!
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 8:49pm; Reply: 669
Marmalade
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 17, 2013, 8:56pm; Reply: 670
You're a McDonald? Well burger me!
Posted by: dannylee, August 17, 2013, 9:35pm; Reply: 671
Non stick my a**se!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 18, 2013, 8:46am; Reply: 672
I never knew who wrote that....but i.'d like to find out.
Posted by: dannylee, August 18, 2013, 1:20pm; Reply: 673
The inability to read.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 18, 2013, 8:27pm; Reply: 674
Dinny donny din dons.
Posted by: dannylee, August 18, 2013, 10:49pm; Reply: 675
I'm bricking it..................it needed doing.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 18, 2013, 11:18pm; Reply: 676
Well that was a total surprise.......not.
Posted by: dannylee, August 18, 2013, 11:22pm; Reply: 677
Bl**dy PCs  >:(, Mac all the way!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 19, 2013, 6:26am; Reply: 678
He was a student at the Idleburg University, Germany, yes he was an Idleburger...he would lie in his bed all day singing work songs.  :P
Posted by: dannylee, August 19, 2013, 8:28pm; Reply: 679
I found it in the first place I looked after I looked everywhere else.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 19, 2013, 8:37pm; Reply: 680
Would you like to go large??
Posted by: dannylee, August 19, 2013, 8:43pm; Reply: 681
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Would you like to go large??


No thanks but I'm going to give it large!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 19, 2013, 8:54pm; Reply: 682
Quoted from dannylee


No thanks but I'm going to give it large!


Not even go large for 30p? Ye get a bigger drink and fries..... :)
Posted by: dannylee, August 19, 2013, 9:06pm; Reply: 683
Quoted from OomphPoomftie


Not even go large for 30p? Ye get a bigger drink and fries..... :)

Yes, but then I get fat, have to go on a diet and therefore won't be spending any more money here.  Do the maths!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 19, 2013, 9:15pm; Reply: 684
Diet Coke for the tight-arse then!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, August 19, 2013, 9:38pm; Reply: 685
...."the clue is the question". 'Do you want a meal that it bigger than the amount most people have or need?'. "I'll give you the 30p if you shut the hell up!"

Wow, where did that come from! :-/  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 19, 2013, 10:10pm; Reply: 686
And down off the soapbox........and relax!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, August 19, 2013, 10:59pm; Reply: 687
While we are on the subject - Beefeater.

Me: "I'll have the burger please"
Waitress:  Chips, Salad, Jacket or Rice

Now, I could have said "why the bl**dy hell would I want a jacket potato or rice with a burger".  :X but of course I'm too polite.  ::) Maybe I'm the only one that thinks that's strange?  :-/
Posted by: Savannah, August 20, 2013, 6:54am; Reply: 688
Aren't we funny individual persons? Ain't that good! YES!!!! Life would be boring with robots.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 20, 2013, 7:24am; Reply: 689
Tears for souvenirs were all you left me, well that and a large visa bill ya cow.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 21, 2013, 8:08pm; Reply: 690
Parking ticket.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 22, 2013, 10:24am; Reply: 691
The drinking legend that is Sandy Sweetman.
Posted by: Savannah, August 22, 2013, 11:52am; Reply: 692
Having a lot of harrassement with a prescription  >:(
Posted by: dannylee, August 22, 2013, 12:11pm; Reply: 693
Freezing cold cinemas
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 22, 2013, 12:30pm; Reply: 694
Eating a whole Soreen Malt Loaf at daft o'clock....certainly puts a polish on yer poo anyway.  ::)
Posted by: dannylee, August 22, 2013, 4:04pm; Reply: 695
Give me a battered sausage any day of the week.
Posted by: Savannah, August 23, 2013, 7:36am; Reply: 696
Quoted from dannylee
Freezing cold cinemas
Aircondition in general!!

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 23, 2013, 10:10am; Reply: 697
Drinking on an empty head.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 24, 2013, 12:43pm; Reply: 698
Drinking with a leaky head.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 24, 2013, 2:06pm; Reply: 699
Put it away Mr Desralli, we are not amused.
Posted by: dannylee, August 24, 2013, 2:32pm; Reply: 700
Put it back in the tank and pretend it never happened.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 24, 2013, 11:19pm; Reply: 701
Enough of this wacky twaddle.
Posted by: Savannah, August 24, 2013, 11:32pm; Reply: 702
Sleepless nights
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 24, 2013, 11:40pm; Reply: 703
Savannah's new avatar photo is a still of her during her 5 hour dance marathon last week!  ;D
Posted by: Savannah, August 24, 2013, 11:54pm; Reply: 704
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Savannah's new avatar photo is a still of her during her 5 hour dance marathon last week!  ;D
Hey -  ;D - that's a fact and no Utter Rubbish!  ;D

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 25, 2013, 10:08am; Reply: 705
And it caused a bit of a hoo-ha when he fell asleep in the middle of it all... ::)
Posted by: dannylee, August 25, 2013, 10:19am; Reply: 706
First you wanted there, now you want it here.  You know it's going back there again.
Posted by: Pughie, August 25, 2013, 10:23am; Reply: 707
tonsils
Posted by: dannylee, August 25, 2013, 10:31am; Reply: 708
Soggy cardboard
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 25, 2013, 11:09am; Reply: 709
He wouldn't dare be involved in a Skype chat looking like Ken Dodd....oh no, the hair must be perfect for his VIP link up.  ;)
Posted by: dannylee, August 25, 2013, 10:30pm; Reply: 710
You would even have the shirt off my back, if I had one.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 25, 2013, 10:40pm; Reply: 711
I don't know what he paid for his tablet, but only 50% of the cameras on it function properly.  ;)
Posted by: dannylee, August 25, 2013, 11:00pm; Reply: 712
Lidl branching out into electronics was always a crap idea  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 26, 2013, 7:59am; Reply: 713
No Matron, no, not the wet rhubarb.
Posted by: dannylee, August 26, 2013, 8:45am; Reply: 714
Everything was going well until the onions around the mime artist's neck made him sneeze.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 26, 2013, 10:45am; Reply: 715
I'll do the pressure washing tomorrow...(you've been saying that the last two weeks lazy arse...  ::))
Posted by: dannylee, August 26, 2013, 7:49pm; Reply: 716
"I would like to thank you all for being here...."  the speech began.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 26, 2013, 9:39pm; Reply: 717
"Thank-you very much, and may i say what an honour it is, for you to have me here this evening"
Posted by: dannylee, August 26, 2013, 11:02pm; Reply: 718
"What can I say about the happy couple, not much really without using expletives"
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 7:49am; Reply: 719
"So in conclusion, i'd just like to propose a toast to the two peole that have made the day memorable for myself........The Barstaff"
Posted by: dannylee, August 27, 2013, 8:10am; Reply: 720
Bric-a-brac
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 9:02am; Reply: 721
Other Peoples Songs - Studio-34's Windchime version.
Posted by: dannylee, August 27, 2013, 10:18am; Reply: 722
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Other Peoples Songs - Studio-34's Windchime version.


Might be added to this Christmas.  :B
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 4:22pm; Reply: 723
Quoted from dannylee


Might be added to this Christmas.  :B




;D

Posted by: dannylee, August 27, 2013, 8:57pm; Reply: 724
Shaving
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 9:05pm; Reply: 725
Keep It Gay
Posted by: dannylee, August 27, 2013, 9:19pm; Reply: 726
Tramp, It's the latest fashion didn't you know.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 10:49pm; Reply: 727
Excuse me, could you make a wee nodation to the save the dosser fund?
Posted by: dannylee, August 27, 2013, 11:03pm; Reply: 728
For just £2 per month you can keep this man's alcohol addiction going. Please give generously.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 27, 2013, 11:10pm; Reply: 729
And he said "just buy a packet of Macaroni and some cheese sauce mix and make it yerself?"..........ah just walked oot.
Posted by: dannylee, August 28, 2013, 11:48am; Reply: 730
Give me some sugar.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 28, 2013, 2:40pm; Reply: 731
Are you an alcoholic? Do you have a drink problem? Phone this number....so i did, and it was The Victoria Wine Off Licence.
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 28, 2013, 4:49pm; Reply: 732
I realised I had ADHD when
Posted by: dannylee, August 28, 2013, 6:22pm; Reply: 733
And so the dog said to the Shepherd "I'm not chasing those!"
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 28, 2013, 6:26pm; Reply: 734
What nationality is the German car salesman?
Posted by: dannylee, August 28, 2013, 6:54pm; Reply: 735
Must hurry 50% off!  
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 28, 2013, 7:15pm; Reply: 736
Bring me a straw - it's time to felch.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 28, 2013, 7:26pm; Reply: 737
Joan, you have lovely breasts!
Posted by: dannylee, August 28, 2013, 8:18pm; Reply: 738
Bring me a rod, I'm reeling them in big time.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 28, 2013, 9:32pm; Reply: 739
Hoots Mon!, there's a moose, loose, about this  hoose!
Posted by: dannylee, August 29, 2013, 8:18am; Reply: 740
Unfortunately the gun went off while he was cleaning the barrel.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, August 29, 2013, 8:59pm; Reply: 741
I'm ambidextrous, i can masterbate with either hand.
Posted by: dannylee, September 1, 2013, 9:14am; Reply: 742
And as he bounced over the speed bump he realised that the wheels were no longer connected to the car.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 1, 2013, 9:49am; Reply: 743
And with alacrity, Pughie contributed to The Story to defend his actions in The Winchester Social Club...... ;) Please!!
Posted by: dannylee, September 1, 2013, 11:27am; Reply: 744
I'm so buff it hurts!  ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 2, 2013, 1:28am; Reply: 745
Quoted from dannylee
I'm so buff it hurts!  ;D


Please stick to the topic Dan........Your personal life is your own... ;) ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 2, 2013, 3:32am; Reply: 746
.....and as he lay there covered head to toe in molten wax pondering as to what his impending 2000th post was gonna be, he knew his only Studio task today was

to make a Christmas version of La Gloria.......whilst wearing his full Spanish Elf's costume of course... ;)  :X
Posted by: dannylee, September 2, 2013, 7:30am; Reply: 747
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
.....and as he lay there covered head to toe in molten wax pondering as to what his impending 2000th post was gonna be, he knew his only Studio task today was

to make a Christmas version of La Gloria.......whilst wearing his full Spanish Elf's costume of course... ;)  :X

Firstly there was some subtle changes, the track was retitled 'Hosanna' and the double line of La's in the chorus was replaced with Ho's.  Next the opening Flamenco guitar was replaced with bell ringers and supporting glockenspiel and the main backing instrumentation was replaced with a German 'Oom Pah' band from the Cologne Christmas Market (it all works!).  After serious consideration it was agreed that you just can't polish a ****.  :B ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 3, 2013, 6:40am; Reply: 748
Quoted from dannylee

Firstly there was some subtle changes, the track was retitled 'Hosanna' and the double line of La's in the chorus was replaced with Ho's.  Next the opening Flamenco guitar was replaced with bell ringers and supporting glockenspiel and the main backing instrumentation was replaced with a German 'Oom Pah' band from the Cologne Christmas Market (it all works!).  After serious consideration it was agreed that you just can't polish a ****.  :B ;D


Aye, the mere fact you quipped "it all works" Daniel tells me there is such a version floating around in Studio-34's vaults....

and most probably for some time also, given the fact it's your most favourite Erasure track ever....  ::) Get it up on Soundcloud!  8)
Posted by: dannylee, September 3, 2013, 7:14am; Reply: 749
Quoted from OomphPoomftie

Aye, the mere fact you quipped "it all works" Daniel tells me there is such a version floating around in Studio-34's vaults...


Alas not.:'(  Most of my arrangements are constructed in my head first.:P

I haven't actually been able to listen to my favourite track for far too long as it has got a mysterious scratch on the cd. Strange how it is only affects this track :-/. Probably played it to death. ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 3, 2013, 7:35am; Reply: 750
Will his (next) milestone 2000th post be in this thread, or will it be deep, meaningful or funny elsewhere??  :P
Posted by: dannylee, September 3, 2013, 9:35am; Reply: 751
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Will his (next) milestone 2000th post be in this thread, or will it be deep, meaningful or funny elsewhere??  :P


Unfortunately I can't do deep and meaningful.  I should have mentioned in my last post that I had Wild on tape before CD and somehow it always chewed up when La Gloria came on. ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 4, 2013, 7:08am; Reply: 752
.....And realistically, the only safe way to remove the said object was with a pair of pliers and a generous handfull of Vaseline...
Posted by: Biffo, September 8, 2013, 9:09pm; Reply: 753
Give me a drink. Capisce? Lol
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 8, 2013, 10:22pm; Reply: 754
Biffo's random jottings whilst clearly nuggets! Funny as ! He'll be back.tho.  :)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 21, 2013, 7:41am; Reply: 755
13 days without anybody posting any rubbish.....Shockeroony.  :(
Posted by: dannylee, September 21, 2013, 7:49am; Reply: 756
Another windchime.  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 21, 2013, 8:01am; Reply: 757
1200ml Drinks Coasters with a wee hole in the middle to drain the drips.  ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 21, 2013, 12:54pm; Reply: 758
Diane Azepam. Call me Di. Let's go to sleep.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 22, 2013, 12:59am; Reply: 759
I'd walk a million miles, to get rid of these piles, my maaaaaaaaaamy... ::)
Posted by: dannylee, September 22, 2013, 8:55pm; Reply: 760
Oomphy, Oomphy wherefore art thou Oomphy
Posted by: Savannah, September 24, 2013, 8:06am; Reply: 761
Living without this forum ...
Posted by: Pughie, September 24, 2013, 9:49am; Reply: 762
Quoted from Savannah
Living without this forum ...


We aim to please
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 30, 2013, 7:47am; Reply: 763
"Brilliant!, I'll use that buzzphrase definately"...."basturt ah've forgotten what it was now!"   ;) ;D
Posted by: dannylee, September 30, 2013, 9:13am; Reply: 764
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
"Brilliant!, I'll use that buzzphrase definately"...."basturt ah've forgotten what it was now!"   ;) ;D


Me too, should have written it down.  ;)
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, September 30, 2013, 9:23am; Reply: 765
Quoted from dannylee


Me too, should have written it down.  ;)




Lol  ;D

Maybe Gordon will mind!  8)

Posted by: dannylee, September 30, 2013, 9:53am; Reply: 766
Quoted from OomphPoomftie




Lol  ;D

Maybe Gordon will mind!  8)



I've just asked Gordon and he can't remember either.  :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 4, 2013, 7:21am; Reply: 767
Opticated Tattie Juice @ 35ml measures & Morgans Spiced Rum @ 50ml measures... always thinking, get the guest pished quicker so's i can sing mare... ;)
Posted by: dannylee, October 4, 2013, 10:26am; Reply: 768
......but can the audience actually hear you after they end up in a heap on the floor?   ;D
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 5, 2013, 8:53am; Reply: 769
Appearing and singing live at The Winchester this evening...Ma very good neighbour and duet partner, Smithy.  8)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpYC-s3APFA
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 5, 2013, 7:17pm; Reply: 770
Secret squirrel has lost his nuts.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 7, 2013, 11:28am; Reply: 771
Only 6 Posts and 3 of them are all exactly the same message.   :B
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 7, 2013, 3:51pm; Reply: 772
Kibble
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 7, 2013, 6:30pm; Reply: 773
Wibble Weeble's
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 7, 2013, 8:58pm; Reply: 774
Wobble
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 7, 2013, 9:31pm; Reply: 775
But they don't fall down!
Posted by: dannylee, October 7, 2013, 10:23pm; Reply: 776
They do if you hit them with a hammer!
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 8, 2013, 5:08am; Reply: 777
Quoted from dannylee
They do if you hit them with a hammer!


Too far, Tony!!!!  ;D
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 9, 2013, 7:28am; Reply: 778
Oomph, you.recently posteda vido of yourself and a friend on the forum and I cannot find it. :( Either tell me where toffind it or send.me a.pm. Thanx
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 9, 2013, 7:54am; Reply: 779
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ_42tcY3gc (Me singing Elvis)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0vh-t4m96s  (Me playing along on the accordion)


;)  ;D
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 9, 2013, 12:27pm; Reply: 780
Can't watch the accordeon one. :( Daft system !
Posted by: Savannah, October 10, 2013, 8:42am; Reply: 781
I can watch it! :P  Love your sunglasses! Haha: ACDC with an accordeon  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, October 10, 2013, 2:59pm; Reply: 782
Can I have two logins please?
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 10, 2013, 6:38pm; Reply: 783
Multiple personality disorder can be eased by having multiple login personas. :P
Posted by: dannylee, October 10, 2013, 11:05pm; Reply: 784
My boiler
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 11, 2013, 7:15am; Reply: 785
That lotion in the basket sucked
Posted by: dannylee, October 11, 2013, 7:43am; Reply: 786
"I'll have the soup for starters"
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 11, 2013, 7:49am; Reply: 787
"sounds good to me, i'll have the soup in a basket too"
Posted by: dannylee, October 11, 2013, 7:51am; Reply: 788
Drip, drip, drip in the bucket.  Great way to start the day.  :(
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 11, 2013, 8:40am; Reply: 789
Quoted from dannylee
Can I have two logins please?

There's no more possible utter rubbish than that! Look, guys, it wasn't MY idea of having two logins now! It's due to technique: Couldn't come on with "Savannah" with my smartphone - just wouldn't take the name or password. And don't yous tell me now that I'm too daft to work it! Just find out (in German, tho!  ;) ) how many people cannot log in into forums you'll be amazed. So Hanna was the only solution. Sorry for that. But it makes life funnier - look at The Story - doesn't it?  ;) :P ;D 8)

So, dannylee, if you want two identities, just buy yourself a smartphone  ;D But make it the right one - some do allow you in!
Posted by: dannylee, October 11, 2013, 10:11am; Reply: 790
Apple all the way!  No Problems. :P ;)

Might set it up as Nandy Eel. ;D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 12, 2013, 1:25am; Reply: 791
Who walks like a tightwad around here?
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 13, 2013, 9:19am; Reply: 792
Less is more, quality rather than quantity.  ;)
Posted by: suec, October 13, 2013, 9:57am; Reply: 793
Grrrrr when you have tolerated someone for a yr, and they still won't fcuk off lol
Posted by: Pughie, October 13, 2013, 10:31am; Reply: 794
Quoted from suec
Grrrrr when you have tolerated someone for a yr, and they still won't fcuk off lol


Hold on we've been here a year we ain't going nowhere

Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 13, 2013, 12:28pm; Reply: 795
Quoted from suec
Grrrrr when you have tolerated someone for a yr, and they still won't fcuk off lol




A simple PM to me would have sufficed Sue!  ;D
Posted by: suec, October 13, 2013, 7:07pm; Reply: 796
Ha ha noo nowt to do with here, Pughie
Posted by: dannylee, October 13, 2013, 11:07pm; Reply: 797
When a jacuzzi is colder than the swimming pool.  Sort it out.

By the way Oomph, your hot tub sorted yet?
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 14, 2013, 3:53pm; Reply: 798
Girls with guitars.
Posted by: Pughie, October 14, 2013, 7:59pm; Reply: 799
Me tripping over pavement!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 15, 2013, 2:29am; Reply: 800
Snot peaking out
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 15, 2013, 6:31pm; Reply: 801
I know nothing. :X
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 16, 2013, 3:45am; Reply: 802
The bubbles are bubbly tonight
Posted by: dannylee, October 16, 2013, 12:34pm; Reply: 803
Smearing pencil rubbers (erasers).  >:(
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 16, 2013, 1:41pm; Reply: 804
thrombosis at the a-hole :-/ is it lethal?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 18, 2013, 1:23am; Reply: 805
Excuse me waiter, there is a snot in my soup
Posted by: Savannah, October 18, 2013, 7:07am; Reply: 806
... offering friendship  :)  ... and being refused  :B
Posted by: dannylee, October 18, 2013, 8:12am; Reply: 807
Jack of all trades.........
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 18, 2013, 12:28pm; Reply: 808
It's Friday and it's time to make your booty dance!!  Get up! Nowwwww!!!

To the left, to the left, to the right to the right.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 18, 2013, 12:28pm; Reply: 809
It's Friday and it's time to make your booty dance!!  Get up! Nowwwww!!!

To the left, to the left, to the right to the right.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 18, 2013, 12:28pm; Reply: 810
It's Friday and it's time to make your booty dance!!  Get up! Nowwwww!!!

To the left, to the left, to the right to the right.....
Posted by: dannylee, October 18, 2013, 7:12pm; Reply: 811
Mikedepaz likes to boogie sooo much that he posted three times!  ;D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 19, 2013, 2:09am; Reply: 812
To the right... To the right.... up and down up and down. Shaky shaky shaky
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 19, 2013, 10:14am; Reply: 813
Gonna dance tonight ! Been at a newlry opened Scottish bar last night in our town and they even had liv :-/ :)e music. Agirl singing in German. :-/
Posted by: dannylee, October 19, 2013, 7:34pm; Reply: 814
X-Factor - the contestants are drowning in reverb again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 19, 2013, 8:23pm; Reply: 815
Please pass the salt and pepa
Posted by: Pughie, October 19, 2013, 9:33pm; Reply: 816
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Please pass the salt and pepa



...... and don't forget Spinderella
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 19, 2013, 11:54pm; Reply: 817
.....ah Pughie gonna push it, get up on this...
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 20, 2013, 10:28am; Reply: 818
Mikedepaz's open flirting with the Boss....  ;D it's just given me a character & storyline......!!!  ;)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 22, 2013, 12:07am; Reply: 819
The storyline is that we are a product of the 80s. The best time to be young, free and gullible  ;D
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 22, 2013, 7:56am; Reply: 820
Wharever -gullible- means but I agree about the 80
Posted by: Pughie, October 22, 2013, 7:58am; Reply: 821
Seven of them were bent,the other 3 had a small stain
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 22, 2013, 9:08am; Reply: 822
The most horrible sleepless night I've ever had
Posted by: dannylee, October 22, 2013, 11:04pm; Reply: 823
Stop bending my ear.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 23, 2013, 12:33am; Reply: 824
I had a dream that Depeche Mode disbanded and joined Erasure. It turned into a nightmare
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, October 23, 2013, 2:15am; Reply: 825
And he stood there with his underpants on his head wondering, "what the hell do i sing now??"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 23, 2013, 4:44am; Reply: 826
And the poor Yank thought being called a wanker was a sign of accomplishment... To the delight of no one
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 23, 2013, 6:40pm; Reply: 827
There's a monkey choking on my banana.
Posted by: dannylee, October 23, 2013, 10:17pm; Reply: 828
They're tasty, tasty, very, very, tasty.  They're very tasty! (Remember that one?)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 24, 2013, 1:49am; Reply: 829
Oh my he sharted and hasn't seen the back of his pants..... Poor sap
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 24, 2013, 6:49pm; Reply: 830
Oozing sex appeal - must go to the doctors. :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 25, 2013, 12:37am; Reply: 831
Slippery When Wet read the sign going into the loo......woo hoo!
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 25, 2013, 7:54am; Reply: 832
a very slow computer


AND:

Bye bye, Savannah!  :'(  :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 25, 2013, 9:34am; Reply: 833
When a problem comes along.... You must whip it!
Posted by: dannylee, October 25, 2013, 10:32am; Reply: 834
.......and so Han Solo exclaimed to the Ewok "Hey! point that thing someplace else"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 25, 2013, 12:35pm; Reply: 835
He finally popped the question- will you... Get me another beer?
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 29, 2013, 7:16pm; Reply: 836
Squeezing out the last of the shower gel and having the nozzle facing the wrong way. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 29, 2013, 7:19pm; Reply: 837
He loved being sprinkled with glitter until it reached his lower extermities.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 30, 2013, 8:47pm; Reply: 838
Twerking to Away In A Manger.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 30, 2013, 11:43pm; Reply: 839
Are you the twerkee or the twerker?
Posted by: Hanna Vas, October 31, 2013, 8:23am; Reply: 840
vomitting at night and nearly fainting ...  :D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 31, 2013, 1:00pm; Reply: 841
Drinky winky, you're a stinky
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 3, 2013, 7:34pm; Reply: 842
Putting cups in a DISHwasher - controversial.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 3, 2013, 10:20pm; Reply: 843
Quoted from chemicalboy
Putting cups in a DISHwasher - controversial.


Especially the feckin' wrong way up!  :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 4, 2013, 12:52am; Reply: 844
Haz Mat crew, I dropped a compact fluorescent bulb
Posted by: Hanna Vas, November 4, 2013, 9:10am; Reply: 845
My body being a year older  :B My mind isnea!  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, November 4, 2013, 9:39am; Reply: 846
My loft says it's full, I say otherwise!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 4, 2013, 1:26pm; Reply: 847
No guacamole I said, no guacamole
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 5, 2013, 5:54pm; Reply: 848
There has been a delay with my fast food. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 6, 2013, 3:34am; Reply: 849
The new  Strip Club is looking for girls with asspirations
Posted by: Hanna Vas, November 6, 2013, 8:53am; Reply: 850
G E M A
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 6, 2013, 7:52pm; Reply: 851
The failure of the ageing human body.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 7, 2013, 1:23am; Reply: 852
Me knees be a we wobbly
Posted by: dannylee, November 7, 2013, 8:17am; Reply: 853
I've got bits falling off!
Posted by: Hanna Vas, November 7, 2013, 9:07am; Reply: 854
Frightening things like bits falling off ...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 7, 2013, 11:44am; Reply: 855
I think me boat has a hole
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 7, 2013, 6:11pm; Reply: 856
I think me hole has a boat in it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 7, 2013, 8:41pm; Reply: 857
I think we are sunk like a skunk
Posted by: dannylee, November 8, 2013, 12:38am; Reply: 858
Torpedoed
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 8, 2013, 3:58am; Reply: 859
put a plug in it she said to no avail
Posted by: dannylee, November 8, 2013, 7:47am; Reply: 860
Whilst in hospital he regretted trying to the light that barbecue.
Posted by: Hanna Vas, November 8, 2013, 9:11am; Reply: 861
cannot make my mind up
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 8, 2013, 12:43pm; Reply: 862
I forgot what what you said, repeat. I forgot what what you said, repeat. I forgot what what you said, repeat. I forgot what what you said, repeat. I forgot what what you said, repeat.
Posted by: dannylee, November 8, 2013, 9:08pm; Reply: 863
Nose dived into a packet of KP Skips.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 9, 2013, 2:41am; Reply: 864
Bloody vampires, stuck me for 2 quid
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 11, 2013, 7:57pm; Reply: 865
They closed Wonderland and built a Costa.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 11, 2013, 10:23pm; Reply: 866
Old McDonald had a farm, e i, e i, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what the hell was that
Posted by: dannylee, November 11, 2013, 11:12pm; Reply: 867
She was lost in that wheelie bin for a fortnight.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 12, 2013, 3:22am; Reply: 868
Strap on your boots, you're in for a bumpy ride my friend
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 12, 2013, 8:01am; Reply: 869
And now, a farmyard impression...

"GET DOWN OFF THAT FECKIN' NEW TRACTOR YA LITTLE BASTURTS, I'LL BOOT YE'S UP THE ARSE"
Posted by: dannylee, November 12, 2013, 8:20pm; Reply: 870
The sharper the better.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 12, 2013, 11:39pm; Reply: 871
Let go Me Globe..... she said
Posted by: dannylee, November 13, 2013, 7:33am; Reply: 872
Thin wisps everywhere, except for there.
Posted by: Hanna Vas, November 13, 2013, 9:22am; Reply: 873
Having a day off and spending it in Hamburg (so far so good) in the drizzeling rain and the next day - today - scorching sunshine and I'm stuck back inside again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 13, 2013, 12:53pm; Reply: 874
Plant more corn
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 13, 2013, 6:15pm; Reply: 875
The daddies beating the baddies.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 13, 2013, 8:49pm; Reply: 876
Mike 'Deep-Pan' DePaz drizzling himself with HP Sauce and licking it off in wondrous amazement. Dirty Boy!
Posted by: dannylee, November 13, 2013, 9:38pm; Reply: 877
Next I will do it blindfolded.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 14, 2013, 2:23am; Reply: 878
Brown and sticky, brown and sticky. Please no licky
Posted by: dannylee, November 14, 2013, 8:19am; Reply: 879
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Brown and sticky, brown and sticky. Please no licky


Sounds like the HP sauce might have turned up!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 16, 2013, 1:59pm; Reply: 880
Don't be daft, that's not brown suace in my pants
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 18, 2013, 7:36pm; Reply: 881
The junkie called Isaac appears to have lost the plot.
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, November 18, 2013, 7:55pm; Reply: 882
Mike depaz keeping it quiet the HP Sauce parcel has actually arrived...
Posted by: dannylee, November 18, 2013, 9:51pm; Reply: 883
Idiots with shopping trolleys
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 19, 2013, 4:07am; Reply: 884
Quoted from OomphPoomftie
Mike depaz keeping it quiet the HP Sauce parcel has actually arrived...


The calm before the storm, perhaps curiosity has hit a customs agent
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 1, 2013, 10:59am; Reply: 885
Family member of the week.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 1, 2013, 2:04pm; Reply: 886
Which " Member" she asked?
Posted by: dannylee, December 1, 2013, 3:33pm; Reply: 887
I'm not fussy.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 2, 2013, 4:28am; Reply: 888
Said Mrs Lee, as another remix was being made.  ;D
Posted by: suec, December 2, 2013, 7:38pm; Reply: 889
He still ain't buggered off...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 3, 2013, 1:01am; Reply: 890
Is that bugger in your nose?
Posted by: Hanna Vas, December 3, 2013, 8:51am; Reply: 891
buggers in general (are utter rubbish)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 4, 2013, 3:52am; Reply: 892
The German Chancellor got a bugger up her phone. she not to happy  ;D
Posted by: Hanna Vas, December 4, 2013, 8:36am; Reply: 893
Quoted from Mikedepaz
The German Chancellor got a bugger up her phone. she not to happy  ;D
;D ;D Definately not! We all make jokes about that here!

Posted by: suec, December 4, 2013, 9:31am; Reply: 894
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Is that bugger in your nose?


Oh I wish. Lol
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 4, 2013, 1:10pm; Reply: 895
The should call this The Utter Bugger thread  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 4, 2013, 6:52pm; Reply: 896
Quoted from Mikedepaz
The should call this The Utter Bugger thread  ;D


Bugger Off! :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 5, 2013, 1:52am; Reply: 897
You flip me a bugger, you should be careful  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, December 5, 2013, 7:58am; Reply: 898
Come here you little bugger!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 5, 2013, 1:02pm; Reply: 899
He is just one big walking bugger, always sticking around
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, December 5, 2013, 5:06pm; Reply: 900
Bugger Me!.....I'd rather you didn't  :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 5, 2013, 6:22pm; Reply: 901
That brown sauce is one spicy bugger  ;D
Posted by: Hanna Vas, December 6, 2013, 9:12am; Reply: 902
The price for brown sauce here in Germany is a hell of a bugger :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 6, 2013, 12:55pm; Reply: 903
Holy Bugger! said Pope Francis
Posted by: dannylee, December 6, 2013, 8:21pm; Reply: 904
That stain's a bugger to get out.  :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 7, 2013, 4:53am; Reply: 905
... Said President Clinton to the White House maid. In the end he said Oh Bugger, you got me.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 10, 2013, 8:17pm; Reply: 906
The man who sold window hanging cloths knew it was curtains.
Posted by: dannylee, December 10, 2013, 8:54pm; Reply: 907
Nowt taken out today.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2013, 11:43pm; Reply: 908
Rub a dub, three men in a tub...  Daddy.. What are three men doing in a tub?  son... its complicated
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 12, 2013, 9:12pm; Reply: 909
The 12th is not the 8th -  leaving much disappointment.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 12, 2013, 10:33pm; Reply: 910
time to pay da bills mister
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 19, 2013, 8:30pm; Reply: 911
Heather Mills.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 20, 2013, 4:45am; Reply: 912
Who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 23, 2013, 8:44pm; Reply: 913
The ball emptying machine known as Lisa.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 24, 2013, 5:03am; Reply: 914
Go fix your ball bearings, they seem to getting stuck.........Said Lisa
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 24, 2013, 8:08pm; Reply: 915
My present wrapping has gone downhill this year. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 25, 2013, 1:28am; Reply: 916

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 26, 2013, 10:30am; Reply: 917
Free gifts
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 26, 2013, 1:32pm; Reply: 918

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2013, 9:43pm; Reply: 919
I want to go to bed. :-/
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2014, 12:16pm; Reply: 920
The first post of 2014 on the 4rum. :P
Posted by: dannylee, January 12, 2014, 10:29am; Reply: 921
Quoted from chemicalboy
The first post of 2014 on the 4rum. :P


Dedication's what you need.........."If you want to be a Record Breaker".  ::)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 12, 2014, 11:52am; Reply: 922
Sochi or not to Sochi, that is the question.......
Posted by: dannylee, January 12, 2014, 3:44pm; Reply: 923
How to yelp correctly.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 12, 2014, 4:26pm; Reply: 924
I'll pass on the black pudding and settle for the familiar yellow
Posted by: dannylee, January 12, 2014, 4:57pm; Reply: 925
I thought it was going to be easy right up the point until I screwed it up.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 13, 2014, 2:52am; Reply: 926
Clean up on isle 9
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 13, 2014, 8:24pm; Reply: 927
Other Peoples Nits.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 13, 2014, 8:33pm; Reply: 928
Nitter here nor there. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. Sam I Am
Posted by: dannylee, January 13, 2014, 8:53pm; Reply: 929
The taste Police turned up today.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 13, 2014, 11:33pm; Reply: 930
That's not chicken my friend, it's a mystery
Posted by: dannylee, January 13, 2014, 11:57pm; Reply: 931
I'm contemplating breakdancing for a living.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2014, 12:07am; Reply: 932
I naturally break stuff for a living  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 14, 2014, 6:56pm; Reply: 933
I sold my sole for a good pair of shoes.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2014, 8:16pm; Reply: 934
Sooooooouulllll I hear you calling, oh baby please, give a Little Respect tooooooo meeeeeeeeeee
Posted by: dannylee, January 14, 2014, 9:00pm; Reply: 935
Quoted from chemicalboy
I sold my sole for a good pair of shoes.


I prefer cod myself.  :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 15, 2014, 1:07am; Reply: 936
Cod Liver Oil is just what the doctor ordered
Posted by: dannylee, January 15, 2014, 7:23am; Reply: 937
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Cod Liver Oil is just what the doctor ordered


I prefer beer myself.  :B ;D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 15, 2014, 1:10pm; Reply: 938
99 bottles of beer on the wall, if one of them should happen to fall.... That would suck
Posted by: dannylee, January 15, 2014, 6:22pm; Reply: 939
Whose up for spin the bottle?....once the other 98 are finished naturally.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 15, 2014, 8:02pm; Reply: 940
Your skin is as blinding as snow.... get some sun  :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 15, 2014, 8:24pm; Reply: 941
We've swapped memories but I can't remember whose idea it was.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 15, 2014, 9:55pm; Reply: 942
You swapped tissues but that was her idea....
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 18, 2014, 1:50pm; Reply: 943
Turbo flange.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2014, 2:15pm; Reply: 944
Nailed it...... On my thumb
Posted by: dannylee, January 18, 2014, 9:16pm; Reply: 945
My soulmate hates me.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2014, 11:56pm; Reply: 946
I have to say that performance gets a sit down ovation!
Posted by: Pughie, January 19, 2014, 8:38am; Reply: 947
It was at least as long as a millipede
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 19, 2014, 10:42am; Reply: 948
A lack of butter.
Posted by: dannylee, January 19, 2014, 11:22am; Reply: 949
I was surprised she needed smelling salts
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 19, 2014, 12:37pm; Reply: 950
A lack of bread - natives are restless......
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 19, 2014, 3:48pm; Reply: 951
He has no mojo that's why he so slow
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 19, 2014, 4:45pm; Reply: 952
Manchester United.
Posted by: dannylee, January 19, 2014, 5:49pm; Reply: 953
That's very lumpy
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 20, 2014, 1:18am; Reply: 954
The new erasure socks were not meant to be worn there
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 20, 2014, 8:17pm; Reply: 955
Maurice.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 20, 2014, 9:36pm; Reply: 956
Skip to the LOO my darling
Posted by: dannylee, January 20, 2014, 9:51pm; Reply: 957
Stop eating the soap.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 21, 2014, 12:28am; Reply: 958
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the drum all day
Posted by: dannylee, January 21, 2014, 7:55am; Reply: 959
First my knees went like jelly and then my elbows went like blancmange.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 21, 2014, 3:59pm; Reply: 960
Living on the ceiling, no more room down there
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 21, 2014, 5:00pm; Reply: 961
The cloud that is Ash
Posted by: dannylee, January 21, 2014, 8:29pm; Reply: 962
No room in my shed for tears  :'(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 22, 2014, 2:16am; Reply: 963
You hit me like a wrecking ball full of water
Posted by: dannylee, January 22, 2014, 8:22am; Reply: 964
My duvet won't let me leave.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 22, 2014, 12:57pm; Reply: 965
This shadow just won't let up
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 22, 2014, 7:53pm; Reply: 966
General Boards reporting for duty.
Posted by: dannylee, January 22, 2014, 10:17pm; Reply: 967
Maybe tomorrow.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 23, 2014, 1:17am; Reply: 968
All in all were just another brick in the wall
Posted by: Pughie, January 23, 2014, 6:19am; Reply: 969
It took 27 before it even settled down
Posted by: dannylee, January 23, 2014, 8:07am; Reply: 970
The towel just wasn't big enough.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 23, 2014, 1:44pm; Reply: 971
The toilet paper ran out on me
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 25, 2014, 4:32pm; Reply: 972
Cue the Labrador puppy....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 25, 2014, 8:13pm; Reply: 973
I don't have to lick stamps anymore?
Posted by: dannylee, January 25, 2014, 8:35pm; Reply: 974
I've only gone and smudged it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 25, 2014, 10:13pm; Reply: 975
I just can't seem to feel my toes at the moment
Posted by: dannylee, January 26, 2014, 8:28am; Reply: 976
The trouble began when I planted it outside.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 26, 2014, 10:47am; Reply: 977
Dreaming
Posted by: dannylee, January 26, 2014, 9:01pm; Reply: 978
I've got a golden ticket
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 27, 2014, 1:30pm; Reply: 979
Pass the chocolate
Posted by: dannylee, January 28, 2014, 1:14am; Reply: 980
Smothered everywhere.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 28, 2014, 5:52am; Reply: 981
I woke up the neighbors, they are pissed
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 28, 2014, 7:27pm; Reply: 982
I pissed on the neighbours - they are awake. ;)
Posted by: dannylee, January 29, 2014, 12:35am; Reply: 983
The neighbours pissed on me to wake me up.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 29, 2014, 8:02am; Reply: 984
The loo wont flush, what to do?
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 29, 2014, 8:46pm; Reply: 985
Plumbing the depths.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 29, 2014, 8:59pm; Reply: 986
low and behold, its Mr Twinkletoes
Posted by: dannylee, January 29, 2014, 11:13pm; Reply: 987
I only went and broke it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 30, 2014, 3:17am; Reply: 988
When I Start To Break It All Down..... It's still not broken
Posted by: dannylee, January 31, 2014, 12:21am; Reply: 989
Can't find my teddy.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 31, 2014, 2:14am; Reply: 990
Quit sucking on my teddy
Posted by: dannylee, February 1, 2014, 1:21am; Reply: 991
Didn't know you wore one.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 1, 2014, 6:06am; Reply: 992
Pucker up sucker
Posted by: dannylee, February 1, 2014, 9:05pm; Reply: 993
Take it slow round the bend
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 1, 2014, 11:52pm; Reply: 994
Fire down below!
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 1, 2014, 11:55pm; Reply: 995
Bring out the cream.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 2, 2014, 12:22am; Reply: 996
He seems do drink the HP like liquor
Posted by: dannylee, February 2, 2014, 12:49am; Reply: 997
Taste sensation.  
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 2, 2014, 6:48am; Reply: 998
Dont scare him, they call him Mr Poopypants
Posted by: dannylee, February 3, 2014, 12:33am; Reply: 999
My tap keeps dripping. Nothing like a bit of water torture.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 3, 2014, 1:53am; Reply: 1000
There seems to breadcrumbs coming out of the basement
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 3, 2014, 7:47am; Reply: 1001
The new beginning to the inevitable end.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 3, 2014, 1:13pm; Reply: 1002
I see the light at the end of the tunnel..... It's an oncoming train
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 3, 2014, 7:38pm; Reply: 1003
Induction day clown show.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 4, 2014, 12:35am; Reply: 1004
And now we bring you Captain Phillips. King of the Somolis
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 14, 2014, 4:32pm; Reply: 1005
Anybody got Noah's number - we're going to need an ark. :(
Posted by: dannylee, March 10, 2014, 1:30am; Reply: 1006
Could you get me a chair I can't reach it?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 10, 2014, 4:01pm; Reply: 1007
Back stabbing, lying sons of bitches. :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 10, 2014, 6:53pm; Reply: 1008
Every time you type a mistake, an errorist wins
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 10, 2014, 8:19pm; Reply: 1009
The worlds largest game of hide and seek.
Posted by: dannylee, March 11, 2014, 1:51am; Reply: 1010
Twisted to the core.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 12, 2014, 4:25am; Reply: 1011
Buffalo Bill wants his lotion back in the basket
Posted by: dannylee, March 12, 2014, 8:35am; Reply: 1012
A dozen red roses and a heap of luck.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 12, 2014, 5:05pm; Reply: 1013
45 minutes of talking and 15 minutes of work
Posted by: Pughie, March 12, 2014, 6:09pm; Reply: 1014
3 days ino holiday,nowt done more holiday days getting fewer
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 12, 2014, 7:17pm; Reply: 1015
Nose Juice
Posted by: dannylee, March 13, 2014, 1:07am; Reply: 1016
Cold turkey giblets.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 13, 2014, 3:31am; Reply: 1017
The Queen knighted the pig Sir Hamsolot, Duke of Bacon
Posted by: dannylee, March 14, 2014, 12:14am; Reply: 1018
Quoted from Mikedepaz
The Queen knighted the pig Sir Hamsolot, Duke of Bacon


As she took a juicy slice out of its shoulder.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 14, 2014, 2:08am; Reply: 1019
Quoted from dannylee


As she took a juicy slice out of its shoulder.


..and bestowed the fat to the commoners to cherish
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 14, 2014, 3:49pm; Reply: 1020
Moo pish
Posted by: dannylee, March 14, 2014, 4:41pm; Reply: 1021
Which way did the worm turn?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 14, 2014, 7:54pm; Reply: 1022
THIS IS NOT SHOUTING - JUST FORGETFUL.
Posted by: dannylee, March 15, 2014, 12:08am; Reply: 1023
If in doubt, CTRL, ALT, DEL.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 15, 2014, 9:44am; Reply: 1024
Chancel Repair Liability
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 15, 2014, 9:37pm; Reply: 1025
The bumbling adman had an epic fail for the new Malaysia Tourist Board-  Malaysia, The Perfect Getaway Vacation
Posted by: dannylee, March 16, 2014, 12:09am; Reply: 1026
MUST NOT eat all the Pringles!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2014, 5:10am; Reply: 1027
My wife told me that Pringles are not made from potatoes. Sooooooowhat is it?
Posted by: dannylee, March 16, 2014, 9:35am; Reply: 1028
They are from potatoes but made by fairies sprinkling their magic fairy dust (in different flavours of course).
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2014, 1:08pm; Reply: 1029
My tummy loves fairy dust, especially BBQ and Ranch
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 16, 2014, 5:16pm; Reply: 1030
Millionaires moneybox.
Posted by: dannylee, March 16, 2014, 11:41pm; Reply: 1031
Boxing shadows with all my might.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 17, 2014, 1:49am; Reply: 1032
Who keeps putting all this crud in me eyes at night?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 17, 2014, 7:44am; Reply: 1033
Monday.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 17, 2014, 11:47am; Reply: 1034
Monday should be off the calendar and make Tuesday the next victim
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 18, 2014, 7:14pm; Reply: 1035
Mr Awesome leaves on Friday - future unsure. :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 19, 2014, 12:27am; Reply: 1036
I hope Mr Awesome doesn't leave us hanging  :-/
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 19, 2014, 7:28pm; Reply: 1037
Quoted from Mikedepaz
I hope Mr Awesome doesn't leave us hanging  :-/


He already has. :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 20, 2014, 12:04am; Reply: 1038
I hope Mr Awesome doesn't become like Mr Oooooph
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 20, 2014, 7:47am; Reply: 1039
Sugar
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 20, 2014, 12:25pm; Reply: 1040
The Milkman is rather early honey
Posted by: dannylee, March 21, 2014, 12:41am; Reply: 1041
What you need is a good pork pie.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 21, 2014, 12:27pm; Reply: 1042
He never knew that he had an arse face, but he could sure talk crap.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 22, 2014, 9:42am; Reply: 1043
Bad puppet.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 22, 2014, 12:27pm; Reply: 1044
They called him maggot which fits the description of what he did- clean up
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 22, 2014, 7:16pm; Reply: 1045
:P Rimming. :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 23, 2014, 12:09am; Reply: 1046
:) :) Grinning   :) :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 23, 2014, 9:36am; Reply: 1047
:o Bird Poo :o
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 23, 2014, 12:09pm; Reply: 1048
He kept feeding the seagulls peanuts, and the the seagulls were so happy to repay him with...... Peanut butter crap
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 24, 2014, 8:13pm; Reply: 1049
I have friends and they send me funny e-mails.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 25, 2014, 12:19am; Reply: 1050
Do you hear what I hear.... all Hail...... THE SILENCE!
Posted by: dannylee, March 26, 2014, 1:12am; Reply: 1051
The tapping at my window.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 26, 2014, 3:56am; Reply: 1052
More beans for me big breakfast, beans are beans, you know what mean
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 26, 2014, 7:27pm; Reply: 1053
If it is to be done it has been done by me - Andrew
Posted by: dannylee, March 26, 2014, 11:59pm; Reply: 1054
What's bingo got that I can't offer you?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 27, 2014, 5:30am; Reply: 1055
Read the fine print because you got screwed
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 5, 2014, 9:38am; Reply: 1056
Quoted from dannylee
What's bingo got that I can't offer you?


Balls? :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 6, 2014, 5:56am; Reply: 1057
Quoted from chemicalboy


Balls? :P


Bouncing balls you fancy ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 8, 2014, 6:38pm; Reply: 1058
I couldn't understand my wnw when she was upside down.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 9, 2014, 2:53am; Reply: 1059
He who sings that song HAPPY, shall receive a swift kick in the arse
Posted by: dannylee, April 12, 2014, 1:01pm; Reply: 1060
The roundabout free-for-all.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 12, 2014, 4:18pm; Reply: 1061
The one result that murders an accumulator.
Posted by: dannylee, April 12, 2014, 6:06pm; Reply: 1062
..and the bonus ball is....................pink.




Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 13, 2014, 2:11am; Reply: 1063
Blue balls are utter rubbish  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 13, 2014, 10:02am; Reply: 1064
Morning.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 13, 2014, 7:02pm; Reply: 1065
Please pick your nose, its disturbing to look at.
Posted by: dannylee, April 13, 2014, 11:12pm; Reply: 1066
Who's the daddy............I have no idea.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 14, 2014, 2:46am; Reply: 1067
don't call me a wanker, you wanker!
Posted by: dannylee, April 14, 2014, 2:10pm; Reply: 1068
I'll meet you in the sandpit.
Posted by: Pughie, April 14, 2014, 2:44pm; Reply: 1069
Next to the Komodo dragon
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 14, 2014, 6:14pm; Reply: 1070
We congratulate you.... that is one horrific smell coming from your armpit... BRAVO!
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2014, 6:55pm; Reply: 1071
Saint who?????? :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2014, 12:15am; Reply: 1072
Someone has gone on some religious tangent :P
Posted by: Pughie, April 24, 2014, 7:58am; Reply: 1073
I had a tangent one,it was blue it's great because you can have two people riding a bicycle at the same time
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2014, 12:45pm; Reply: 1074
The bridge tender is asleep at the switch
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 25, 2014, 7:33pm; Reply: 1075
The gas man had deep lines on his face.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 26, 2014, 2:50am; Reply: 1076
Bacon, when you are feeling down,  BACON!
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 26, 2014, 9:24am; Reply: 1077
No cab for the pig.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 26, 2014, 12:25pm; Reply: 1078
Lock the doors, hide, take cover, Russia is coming.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 26, 2014, 4:04pm; Reply: 1079
Gap toothed mo fo.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 26, 2014, 9:42pm; Reply: 1080
It has been determined that you are not overweight, you are just a fat slob
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 27, 2014, 12:25pm; Reply: 1081
Pull it out and splash it on.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 27, 2014, 1:16pm; Reply: 1082
Lock, stock and two smokin' barrels
Posted by: dannylee, April 27, 2014, 7:15pm; Reply: 1083
The hole in the wall ate all my money.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 27, 2014, 7:58pm; Reply: 1084
The lady at the cash register stole all my money
Posted by: dannylee, April 27, 2014, 9:23pm; Reply: 1085
Insects beware.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 27, 2014, 10:29pm; Reply: 1086
Kit Kat or Snickers?   I'll have both
Posted by: dannylee, April 27, 2014, 11:05pm; Reply: 1087
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Kit Kat or Snickers?   I'll have both


Get some legumes!  Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 27, 2014, 11:23pm; Reply: 1088
What on Gods Green Earth is a legume and I'll gladly switch like I did with HP Sauce  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, April 28, 2014, 12:07am; Reply: 1089
Quoted from Mikedepaz
What on Gods Green Earth is a legume and I'll gladly switch like I did with HP Sauce  ;D


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legume

Peanuts are actually legumes not nuts.  ??)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 28, 2014, 2:46am; Reply: 1090
Duh, peanuts. Ohhhhhh I loves me some peanuts, uncracked salted in shells by the bag loads. The dump some chocolate on top and me in it  ;D
Posted by: dannylee, April 28, 2014, 9:06pm; Reply: 1091
Some tumbleweed has just blown through my lounge.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 28, 2014, 9:51pm; Reply: 1092
Flies everywhere, something rotten
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 29, 2014, 7:19pm; Reply: 1093
The man who managed a double figures till receipt at Poundland has become somewhat of an urban legend.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 30, 2014, 3:29am; Reply: 1094
Fix the loo, or your in for some deep crap
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 30, 2014, 6:49pm; Reply: 1095
The list of things not to do grows ever longer.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 30, 2014, 11:38pm; Reply: 1096
Some things don't grow longer, they shrink ;D
Posted by: dannylee, May 1, 2014, 12:10am; Reply: 1097
Toenails everywhere.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2014, 3:11am; Reply: 1098
Stop, drop and roll
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2014, 6:58pm; Reply: 1099
I forgot about the dementia.
Posted by: dannylee, May 1, 2014, 11:18pm; Reply: 1100
Rough day, rough night. More rough please.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 2, 2014, 12:37am; Reply: 1101
Bend over, it's time for that check up
Posted by: dannylee, May 3, 2014, 9:02am; Reply: 1102
Well I never knew my tonsils were there.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 3, 2014, 9:08am; Reply: 1103
Norman.
Posted by: dannylee, May 3, 2014, 9:52pm; Reply: 1104
Can't stop playing with that ball of string.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2014, 10:30pm; Reply: 1105
No shocker here, he was playing with electricity
Posted by: dannylee, May 4, 2014, 10:17pm; Reply: 1106
You should have said you had a peanut allergy.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 5, 2014, 1:20am; Reply: 1107
Legumes, legumes, legumes- you must be NUTS!
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2014, 4:35pm; Reply: 1108
Beware, the computer bytes.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 6, 2014, 1:06am; Reply: 1109
Don't shot the messenger, but he might shot you
Posted by: dannylee, May 8, 2014, 7:00pm; Reply: 1110
Smells like teen spirit.....or is that B.O.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 9, 2014, 12:17am; Reply: 1111
It must smell like old Oooomph
Posted by: dannylee, May 9, 2014, 3:11pm; Reply: 1112
I have started looking for missing pictures of Oomph on lamp posts.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 9, 2014, 11:04pm; Reply: 1113
Ooooooph a lumpa
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 11, 2014, 5:37am; Reply: 1114
Simmer down Daniel & 'Deep Pan' Depaz......i'm back. Just accept it.  :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 11, 2014, 6:10am; Reply: 1115
Oooomph and Utter Rubbish- what a dandy combo  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 13, 2014, 7:31pm; Reply: 1116
Drying myself with wet wipes...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 14, 2014, 1:00am; Reply: 1117
.... And there is a dim blue light coming from the room
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 14, 2014, 5:15am; Reply: 1118
Sorry, didn't see you down there, don't get up.
Posted by: dannylee, May 14, 2014, 5:43pm; Reply: 1119
Didn't you see the no entry sign?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 14, 2014, 10:38pm; Reply: 1120
Put a sock on the knob next time......
Posted by: dannylee, May 15, 2014, 3:19pm; Reply: 1121
Why is it so difficult to buy a bulb these days?
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 15, 2014, 6:36pm; Reply: 1122
Hello. I am the cryinglikeababy manager for the East Midlands. :'(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 15, 2014, 10:10pm; Reply: 1123
His profession is banker, in reality he's a wanker
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 16, 2014, 1:38am; Reply: 1124
What am ah having to drink? A Campari n Soda, and a Pint O' Mince.  ::)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 16, 2014, 3:26am; Reply: 1125
Its Top of The Mornin' somewhere now
Posted by: dannylee, May 16, 2014, 4:09pm; Reply: 1126
I'll be with you in two shakes of a sh**ty stick.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2014, 4:58pm; Reply: 1127
Menopausal woman seeks new handle after repeatedly flying off of the last one.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2014, 1:56am; Reply: 1128
She's either to hot to handle, off the handle, or more than you can handle
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 17, 2014, 5:31am; Reply: 1129
Well, it's better than a slap off the belly with a wet fish, as they say.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2014, 10:23am; Reply: 1130
Finger Belly
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2014, 5:34pm; Reply: 1131
I see that you have to clean your ears and I need to make some candles
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2014, 5:46pm; Reply: 1132
I see that you have a tiny penis and I need a wick.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2014, 6:32pm; Reply: 1133
I see you have a hole that needs to be plugged
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2014, 7:57pm; Reply: 1134
The inability to spend after so many years of being a tightwad.
Posted by: dannylee, May 17, 2014, 8:31pm; Reply: 1135
The diary has never been so empty.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2014, 3:22am; Reply: 1136
The diahieria is a plenty
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 18, 2014, 10:34am; Reply: 1137
Ah swear ah heard the trumpet intro of Johnny Cash's big 60's hit in the toilet this morning after thon Vindaloo last night... :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2014, 10:41am; Reply: 1138
The NSA is watching my activities here  8)
Posted by: dannylee, May 18, 2014, 10:01pm; Reply: 1139
Lies, lies and more lies.  O.K. I'll give you that one.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2014, 11:51pm; Reply: 1140
Lies, lies, lies, yeah, yeah, there gonna get you, lies, lies, lies, yeah, yeah they won't forget you.
Cleopatra died for Egypt, what a waste of time
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 19, 2014, 6:28pm; Reply: 1141
Pokinghontus.
Posted by: dannylee, May 19, 2014, 11:38pm; Reply: 1142
Two-ton-car-man
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 20, 2014, 1:19am; Reply: 1143
That's not blubber, it's my back up fuel
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 20, 2014, 7:37pm; Reply: 1144
Norton - see you next Tuesday.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 20, 2014, 9:39pm; Reply: 1145
Dependable and Deranged- what more can you ask
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 21, 2014, 4:11pm; Reply: 1146
Plastic Facia
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 21, 2014, 6:21pm; Reply: 1147
He's aff his bannet.  8)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 22, 2014, 1:43am; Reply: 1148
Rubba dub dub, three men in a tub, hmmmmmm ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 22, 2014, 7:09pm; Reply: 1149
Froth on the water :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 23, 2014, 1:43am; Reply: 1150
Blimey mate, you seem to have the runs
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 23, 2014, 5:40am; Reply: 1151
Concert Party ready with their latest poofery, Segeant Major Sahib.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 23, 2014, 6:07am; Reply: 1152
It's Friday, get your groove on cause were gonna party like its 1999
Posted by: dannylee, May 23, 2014, 7:25pm; Reply: 1153
Give it a shake and let's see what happens.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 23, 2014, 8:01pm; Reply: 1154
It just don't get what he doesn't get because he never got what he was suppose to get
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 24, 2014, 11:15am; Reply: 1155
Mr Hakwa Aqua Magic Machine.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 24, 2014, 11:50am; Reply: 1156
Sorry sir, the birth certificate was a letter of apology from the Condom Company
Posted by: dannylee, May 24, 2014, 9:30pm; Reply: 1157
She slapped me, I liked it.....for a while.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 25, 2014, 12:09am; Reply: 1158
Love may be blind but marriage is an eye- opener
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 25, 2014, 5:00am; Reply: 1159
I reckon this thread should be re-named to Utter Rubbish, and i am unanimous in that.  :P
Posted by: dannylee, May 25, 2014, 8:05am; Reply: 1160
I shed a tear, she shed her skin.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 25, 2014, 1:17pm; Reply: 1161
Born Free, Taxed To Death
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 25, 2014, 4:36pm; Reply: 1162
Where the feck is my tooth?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 26, 2014, 4:03pm; Reply: 1163
Look on the bright side, less work for the dentist
Posted by: dannylee, May 26, 2014, 7:08pm; Reply: 1164
I lost my friends, very careless of me.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 26, 2014, 11:01pm; Reply: 1165
A day without sunshine- is night
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 27, 2014, 7:29pm; Reply: 1166
I will discover Thee Fall motiVe in September.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 27, 2014, 11:29pm; Reply: 1167
I say no to whiskey, it just won't listen
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 2, 2014, 6:42pm; Reply: 1168
Annie gave me tongues.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 2, 2014, 11:34pm; Reply: 1169
All in all where just another brick in the WALL
Posted by: dannylee, June 3, 2014, 2:52pm; Reply: 1170
I said psychogenic not photogenic.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 3, 2014, 7:08pm; Reply: 1171
FIFA.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 4, 2014, 1:00am; Reply: 1172
Pass the ball, kick the ball, pass the ball- Goooooooooohhhhhhhhhhallllllll!!!!!!!
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 4, 2014, 6:40pm; Reply: 1173
The sound of the zip being lowered brought fear to many a man.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 4, 2014, 11:32pm; Reply: 1174
Your urine sample has been rejected, please supply us with a clean sample
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 5, 2014, 7:13pm; Reply: 1175
More money on ANOTHER car?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 5, 2014, 11:56pm; Reply: 1176
Left overs again that left over from last weeks left overs...... Yum
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 10, 2014, 7:38pm; Reply: 1177
Competence.
Posted by: Pughie, June 10, 2014, 8:30pm; Reply: 1178
Micro salad!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 11, 2014, 2:01am; Reply: 1179
His bottom was so white, it blinded people
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 11, 2014, 12:15pm; Reply: 1180
Pucker up and Kiss My Swingers... :K)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 13, 2014, 3:32am; Reply: 1181
He calls it dancing, we just think he's crazy
Posted by: dannylee, June 13, 2014, 9:58am; Reply: 1182
Hay fever  :'(
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 13, 2014, 5:09pm; Reply: 1183
Taxi for Torsten.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 14, 2014, 12:27am; Reply: 1184
Heinz Beans
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 14, 2014, 9:03am; Reply: 1185
Me is not a chef.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 14, 2014, 11:31pm; Reply: 1186
Hopes and dreams dashed at hurdle number 1. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 15, 2014, 4:43am; Reply: 1187
The English squad has its balls kicked every 4 years
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 17, 2014, 6:27pm; Reply: 1188
#Everything.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 17, 2014, 10:23pm; Reply: 1189
Red card, yellow card, u pickem
Posted by: dannylee, June 18, 2014, 4:59pm; Reply: 1190
Stickiness
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 19, 2014, 12:25pm; Reply: 1191
The cat snuck back in
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 19, 2014, 3:24pm; Reply: 1192
A massive lack of trust.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 20, 2014, 1:28am; Reply: 1193
Heads will roll again....... And then kicked to the masses
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 20, 2014, 4:05pm; Reply: 1194
An album of national anthems.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 21, 2014, 3:53am; Reply: 1195
Disgraceful... But was it graceful to begin with
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 21, 2014, 8:08pm; Reply: 1196
If there is anybody left who hasn't started their own charity or foundation will they please come forward.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 22, 2014, 8:07pm; Reply: 1197
He seems to think that but she didn't care
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 23, 2014, 10:31pm; Reply: 1198
Fcuk Off, he hinted.  :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 24, 2014, 12:22am; Reply: 1199
She was annoyed by his Cocker spannial
Posted by: dannylee, June 24, 2014, 8:37am; Reply: 1200
All hat and no drawers.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 24, 2014, 12:07pm; Reply: 1201
Blue hat for a blue day
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 24, 2014, 7:07pm; Reply: 1202
He kept waking up with a brown finger.....
Posted by: dannylee, June 24, 2014, 8:24pm; Reply: 1203
First he looked that way, then he looked the other way. Then he got run over.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 25, 2014, 2:20am; Reply: 1204
The dyslectic, agnostic, insomniac sat up all night thinking if there was a dog
Posted by: dannylee, June 25, 2014, 8:48pm; Reply: 1205
Just turn them inside out and they'll be good for another couple of days.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 26, 2014, 1:33am; Reply: 1206
Life is like a box of chocolates, you know it will be a mix, nuts, fruits and sweets
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 26, 2014, 4:56pm; Reply: 1207
Card 15
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 27, 2014, 1:10am; Reply: 1208
Let it pour, let it POUR, I'm poor
Posted by: dannylee, June 27, 2014, 11:15am; Reply: 1209
Anyone fancy a bite to eat, perhaps some shoulder?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 27, 2014, 12:34pm; Reply: 1210
It seems the Uruguayian football player was in the mood for Italian
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 28, 2014, 9:32am; Reply: 1211
Don't be shy, show's yer pie, gies' a gobble.  ::)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 28, 2014, 1:33pm; Reply: 1212
Hickory dickory dock, what the hell is on your.....
Posted by: dannylee, June 28, 2014, 3:06pm; Reply: 1213
"Reach for the sky!"

"Is that really a gun you're  holding?"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 28, 2014, 7:15pm; Reply: 1214
I think that we have a winner in Tristan Da Cunha
Posted by: Pughie, June 28, 2014, 7:40pm; Reply: 1215
People being scared of skulls with flower eyes!
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 28, 2014, 8:04pm; Reply: 1216
The evil force that is Erasure.
Posted by: dannylee, June 29, 2014, 12:30am; Reply: 1217
Turned to the dark side.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 29, 2014, 3:41am; Reply: 1218
I love to see grinning flower eyes skulls in the summer
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 29, 2014, 11:42am; Reply: 1219
Simple Simon, Met A Pie-man, Whilst Going To The Fair,

Said Simple Simon, To The Pie-man, "Give Us A Pie, Ya Greedy Basturt"  :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 29, 2014, 5:50pm; Reply: 1220
“A total cock up”
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 29, 2014, 6:54pm; Reply: 1221
Mr Block Paving 2014.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 30, 2014, 12:48am; Reply: 1222
The poor punter only had loose change for a tip
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, June 30, 2014, 7:34am; Reply: 1223
I said to her, "You look a million dollars.....unfortunately, it's all in loose change"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 30, 2014, 12:17pm; Reply: 1224
Allll Hail to King Oooomph, your kingdom is restless
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 30, 2014, 6:55pm; Reply: 1225
Numbskulls.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 30, 2014, 11:16pm; Reply: 1226
Who is that withe the violet Flamethrower?
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 1, 2014, 7:03pm; Reply: 1227
The Violent Flame. :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 1, 2014, 10:20pm; Reply: 1228
The Violet Flame vs The Skull Crusher, who will win this death match
Posted by: dannylee, July 3, 2014, 7:24am; Reply: 1229
Roses are red, violets are blue - let's discuss!
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 3, 2014, 7:38pm; Reply: 1230
Man of too much knowledge.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 3, 2014, 10:55pm; Reply: 1231
Hay una discotecea por aqui, playing Violet Flame?
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 9, 2014, 7:39pm; Reply: 1232
Banned for all of 30 seconds.
Posted by: dannylee, July 9, 2014, 10:12pm; Reply: 1233
Tut tut........it's gonna to cost ya!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 9, 2014, 11:36pm; Reply: 1234
You scream, we all scream for Viollet Flamecream!
Posted by: dannylee, July 12, 2014, 11:47pm; Reply: 1235
The fountain of youth is in my back garden.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 13, 2014, 12:57am; Reply: 1236
Today our flying ELEVATION will be flying at 35,000 Ft. please fasten your seat belts as we begin our taxi
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 13, 2014, 11:04am; Reply: 1237
Party.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 13, 2014, 1:33pm; Reply: 1238
He is a blubber lover said Mrs Pillsbury
Posted by: dannylee, July 13, 2014, 6:07pm; Reply: 1239
Big boned
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 13, 2014, 6:49pm; Reply: 1240
G.S.O.H ;D
Posted by: dannylee, July 13, 2014, 7:34pm; Reply: 1241
Bubbly personality.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 13, 2014, 8:31pm; Reply: 1242
Likes going for long walks.
Posted by: Pughie, July 13, 2014, 9:23pm; Reply: 1243
World Cup final no goals galore
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 14, 2014, 12:12am; Reply: 1244
A fitting end to a dull affair, don't Russia too soon, it will be here again
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2014, 6:22pm; Reply: 1245
A tin of Cadbury Roses and it's all better.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 14, 2014, 6:23pm; Reply: 1246
Stubborn sock fluff.
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2014, 6:25pm; Reply: 1247
Belly button fluff.  :-/
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 14, 2014, 6:34pm; Reply: 1248
Morning pillow dribble.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 15, 2014, 1:56am; Reply: 1249
The metal band that wraps the eraser to the wood of a pencil is called a ferrule..... For real
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2014, 4:37pm; Reply: 1250
Shatterproof ruler.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 15, 2014, 5:13pm; Reply: 1251
Bogeys on the touch screen. :-/
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2014, 7:01pm; Reply: 1252
Crying over spilt milk.......now wine that's different.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 15, 2014, 7:09pm; Reply: 1253
I-Mad.
Posted by: dannylee, July 15, 2014, 10:49pm; Reply: 1254
Sugar cubes.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 16, 2014, 2:25am; Reply: 1255
In Alaska it's illegal to push a live moose out of an airplane
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 16, 2014, 6:54pm; Reply: 1256
Playing 'I don't know' tennis with the experts.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 16, 2014, 10:18pm; Reply: 1257
More people are killed each year by donkeys than by airplane crashes
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 17, 2014, 4:36pm; Reply: 1258
Painting my legs with gravy.
Posted by: dannylee, July 17, 2014, 6:30pm; Reply: 1259
Ready for anything, probably not.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 17, 2014, 6:32pm; Reply: 1260
Don't phone me for a week and I will owe you forever.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 18, 2014, 1:24am; Reply: 1261
The Chinese man said those aren't noodles you are eating
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 18, 2014, 6:24pm; Reply: 1262
Remixes and old songs live. Mugged by Mute yet again.
Posted by: dannylee, July 18, 2014, 7:47pm; Reply: 1263
I don't know when I'll be back, but the law's the law.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 18, 2014, 7:48pm; Reply: 1264
Missing music.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 19, 2014, 9:17pm; Reply: 1265
It's a split decision that's splitting us up
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 19, 2014, 9:41pm; Reply: 1266
The people who can do nothing but issue strongly worded statements.  :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 20, 2014, 2:29am; Reply: 1267
Leaving idiots with missiles can only lead to disaster
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 23, 2014, 6:12pm; Reply: 1268
Meeting with the beak with EN on my mind? ??)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 24, 2014, 6:13am; Reply: 1269
Meeting the proctoligist can point to no good
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 8, 2014, 6:48pm; Reply: 1270
The fall of my heroes.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 9, 2014, 12:24pm; Reply: 1271
He couldn't hold it any longer, it was an utter mess
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 9, 2014, 4:11pm; Reply: 1272
Storm's coming.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 9, 2014, 5:15pm; Reply: 1273
Drunk and stupid he made a debut like no other
Posted by: Pughie, August 9, 2014, 5:21pm; Reply: 1274
Harsky & Sutch
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 10, 2014, 10:08am; Reply: 1275
Hidden extras and poor budgeting. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 10, 2014, 12:06pm; Reply: 1276
Those Mute guys have blown it yet again
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 16, 2014, 4:53pm; Reply: 1277
Goodbye Agony.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 17, 2014, 5:43pm; Reply: 1278
So it's raining again, woo who!
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 21, 2014, 7:03pm; Reply: 1279
Hurricane on the way?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 22, 2014, 2:42am; Reply: 1280
Quoted from chemicalboy
Hurricane on the way?


Oh thanks for the reminder, one lurking on the horizon Mr Weatherman ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 5, 2014, 1:35pm; Reply: 1281
Back to reality.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 6, 2014, 12:30am; Reply: 1282
Chunky monkey ice cream
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 7, 2014, 7:03pm; Reply: 1283
Camping in a shirt and tie.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 8, 2014, 5:46am; Reply: 1284
Never Mind The Bollocks....This is Erasure
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 8, 2014, 5:13pm; Reply: 1285
The new video for Elevation.
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 21, 2014, 9:53am; Reply: 1286
NSFG - CNUTS. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 21, 2014, 5:52pm; Reply: 1287
Box set complainers
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 21, 2014, 7:31pm; Reply: 1288
Not realising until a day later that my box set is signed.
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 27, 2014, 7:46pm; Reply: 1289
The fish drowned. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 28, 2014, 2:42am; Reply: 1290
ddd dead of night, ddd dead of night
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 8, 2014, 12:24pm; Reply: 1291
Where did October go?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 9, 2014, 11:02pm; Reply: 1292
They say he is redundant. I say he's redumbnant.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 10, 2014, 5:54pm; Reply: 1293
Punctured Fun Bags.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 10, 2014, 7:29pm; Reply: 1294
Rocky yelled- Adddddrrriiiian!
Posted by: dannylee, November 11, 2014, 12:57am; Reply: 1295
I hope that's a mask.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 11, 2014, 2:51am; Reply: 1296
Hold your breath, he let out a megaton
Posted by: dannylee, November 11, 2014, 1:29pm; Reply: 1297
Nevr lernt mi 3 r's it ha snot caus'd mi eni isus.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 11, 2014, 4:37pm; Reply: 1298
They covered up the sun until the birds have flown away and the fishes in sea have gone to sleep
Posted by: Pughie, November 11, 2014, 7:51pm; Reply: 1299
Those fishes are not asleep,they're dead from pollution :-0
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 17, 2014, 4:30pm; Reply: 1300
Diagnosed with Nipple Nose.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 18, 2014, 12:57am; Reply: 1301
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears. bears will KILL YOU
Posted by: dannylee, November 18, 2014, 7:15am; Reply: 1302
That pensioner just twerked at me.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 16, 2014, 7:46pm; Reply: 1303
51 Links. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 17, 2014, 2:02am; Reply: 1304
Lap dogs and lap dancers don't mix
Posted by: devoleb, December 17, 2014, 8:44am; Reply: 1305
It's elementary my dear Watson free me
Or the Baskervilles will hunt you down tonight


from "Waiting For Sex"
Posted by: Pughie, December 17, 2014, 9:55am; Reply: 1306
Quoted from devoleb
It's elementary my dear Watson free me
Or the Baskervilles will hunt you down tonight


from "Waiting For Sex"


"Your the mound of hound of the Baskervilles"-Edmund Blackadder
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 17, 2014, 5:28pm; Reply: 1307
Molly On A Mission
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 17, 2014, 11:54pm; Reply: 1308
Subways singalongs, who's laughing now
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 8, 2015, 4:33pm; Reply: 1309
Winter vomiting bug. Yeah baby!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 9, 2015, 2:39am; Reply: 1310
Snot monkey strikes again
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, February 5, 2015, 8:24am; Reply: 1311
My initial thoughts on The Violet Flame Album....Howevwer, having dusted it off and listened to it again through the Bad Boy Bose Headphones....i

t's actually no bad at aw....in fact ah'd gan as far to say, it's pretty gid... :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 5, 2015, 1:20pm; Reply: 1312
Meanwhile, the Winchester Social Club welcomed backed a long lost member
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 5, 2015, 8:36pm; Reply: 1313
60 minute makeover.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 6, 2015, 3:41am; Reply: 1314
He is known as a wanker but in 'America he's just a plain boffon
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, February 6, 2015, 7:32am; Reply: 1315
[quote=44]60 minute makeover.[/qu

Brilliant!  ;D

Alas, they took one look at the place, pivoted on their plimsoles, and perambulated till their outlines were mere dots on the horizon.  ::)
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 27, 2015, 10:51pm; Reply: 1316
The Nervous Area ;D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 28, 2015, 1:33am; Reply: 1317
Jihad John- were after your head
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2015, 6:41am; Reply: 1318
I get up and the sun goes back to bed. :-/
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 16, 2015, 10:00am; Reply: 1319
Are you going to Scarborough Fair? ...................................NO.
Posted by: Pughie, May 16, 2015, 1:25pm; Reply: 1320
Richards question in new Eis questionnaire -

Do you want Erasure to tour again?
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2015, 6:14pm; Reply: 1321
The Palace has a crack.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2015, 2:46am; Reply: 1322
Tony Blair aka The Poodle has gone to see his owner
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 17, 2015, 10:12am; Reply: 1323
Here's this weeks EIS newsletter  ::) scroll, scroll.....boring....delete.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2015, 10:44am; Reply: 1324
EIS update - H and T to be added to EIS to form an apt anagram. :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2015, 1:05pm; Reply: 1325
Oh Friday is coming... Oh something in my inbox,,,,, oh it's from the EIS...... Fantastic! it's the weekend
Posted by: OomphPoomftie, May 17, 2015, 1:49pm; Reply: 1326
Quoted from chemicalboy
EIS update - H and T to be added to EIS to form an apt anagram. :P


;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 7, 2015, 8:24pm; Reply: 1327
Dealing with some of this countries finest simpletons on Ebay. >:(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 9, 2015, 2:23am; Reply: 1328
Let all the lunatics out, it's getting crowded in here
Posted by: Erasured, July 9, 2015, 8:32am; Reply: 1329
Or is that just in my head
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 9, 2015, 2:49pm; Reply: 1330
Just bought a Christmas tree in July.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 9, 2015, 6:23pm; Reply: 1331
Lollipops are for suckers
Posted by: Erasured, July 9, 2015, 7:12pm; Reply: 1332
I never heard such a sight
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 10, 2015, 11:10am; Reply: 1333
Creckit.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 10, 2015, 5:20pm; Reply: 1334
Rub A Dub Dub, three men in a tub...... yes three
Posted by: dannylee, July 10, 2015, 8:43pm; Reply: 1335
Those shifty eyes.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 10, 2015, 11:51pm; Reply: 1336
4..................................0..........................................
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 11, 2015, 2:20am; Reply: 1337
Perhaps it looks like a pile crap, and you just stepped in it
Posted by: dannylee, July 11, 2015, 8:37am; Reply: 1338
How did you get it up the wall?
Posted by: Erasured, July 11, 2015, 9:20am; Reply: 1339
It's like talking to the wall
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 11, 2015, 4:26pm; Reply: 1340
Quoted from Erasured
It's like talking to the wall


Well he lives in Walla Walla, Washington
Posted by: dannylee, July 14, 2015, 7:11pm; Reply: 1341
Well it made sense......in my head!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 15, 2015, 3:04am; Reply: 1342
Remember-crack is WACK
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 15, 2015, 4:40pm; Reply: 1343
No MOT for 5 months.....oops.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 15, 2015, 7:18pm; Reply: 1344
You have plumbing issues again...  no Mexican for you
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 15, 2015, 7:30pm; Reply: 1345
Scissors.....clippers......plasters. :-/
Posted by: Erasured, July 15, 2015, 8:43pm; Reply: 1346
Cut n shut
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 16, 2015, 3:20am; Reply: 1347
That is just the perfect trap door. Go see if it works
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 16, 2015, 3:41pm; Reply: 1348
Pippa's Tantrums. :'(
Posted by: Erasured, July 16, 2015, 3:45pm; Reply: 1349
The rain is heavier now
Posted by: dannylee, July 16, 2015, 4:13pm; Reply: 1350
Show me the money! ..........oh you have, many thanks.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 16, 2015, 5:14pm; Reply: 1351
Dont think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful hippo
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 16, 2015, 6:58pm; Reply: 1352
Trash is trash.
Posted by: Erasured, July 16, 2015, 6:59pm; Reply: 1353
Flying he was, then it all went south
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 20, 2015, 7:32pm; Reply: 1354
Tomorrow is the best day to do everything you had planned today
Posted by: Erasured, July 22, 2015, 10:29am; Reply: 1355
The graveyard is full of indispensable people
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 24, 2015, 3:42am; Reply: 1356
He is known as Mr Wanker
Posted by: Erasured, July 24, 2015, 5:05pm; Reply: 1357
Blind as a bat
Posted by: dannylee, July 24, 2015, 5:33pm; Reply: 1358
Whoopee cushion?...............No!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 25, 2015, 1:38am; Reply: 1359
Why is Monday so far from Friday yet Friday is so close to Monday
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 25, 2015, 9:36pm; Reply: 1360
24 hour work monkey.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 3, 2015, 4:53am; Reply: 1361
Do not eat the dingle berries, it comes from an unknown source
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 15, 2015, 6:22pm; Reply: 1362
Polo Marco?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 16, 2015, 1:11am; Reply: 1363
SOMETIMES, fan get extorted
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 10, 2016, 9:57am; Reply: 1364
Nez Bouche. :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 10, 2016, 2:07pm; Reply: 1365
Nez Time, remind me this thread was dormant ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 11, 2016, 8:29pm; Reply: 1366
IT'S ALIVE!!!!!! ??)
Posted by: Erasured, January 11, 2016, 8:41pm; Reply: 1367
Alive..... Weird science!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 12, 2016, 3:31am; Reply: 1368
Strange brew,  ooooh it's not coffee?
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 12, 2016, 7:57pm; Reply: 1369
Tom will be a Major miss.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 13, 2016, 1:52am; Reply: 1370
The stars are rather bright tonight
Posted by: Pughie, January 13, 2016, 11:59am; Reply: 1371
We go waiting for the stars... To go showering up
Posted by: Erasured, January 13, 2016, 2:00pm; Reply: 1372
....Up and away
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2016, 2:18am; Reply: 1373
Wactch up there for the Blackstar
Posted by: Erasured, January 14, 2016, 8:49am; Reply: 1374
Suck you in then out you go
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 14, 2016, 5:33pm; Reply: 1375
"Rick, Alan - Serverus has gone man. " :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2016, 9:37pm; Reply: 1376
Man overboard..... Move on then
Posted by: Erasured, January 15, 2016, 9:40am; Reply: 1377
Led lights go bananas
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 16, 2016, 1:07am; Reply: 1378
I don't know if you remember....... That MOMENT
Posted by: Erasured, January 16, 2016, 12:36pm; Reply: 1379
Corny in regard to buses
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 17, 2016, 12:14pm; Reply: 1380
He fixes boats by day and is a Radio Plugger by night
Posted by: Erasured, January 17, 2016, 2:09pm; Reply: 1381
Batman springs to mind
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 17, 2016, 2:45pm; Reply: 1382
Another 45 minutes of Meh.........
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 17, 2016, 4:13pm; Reply: 1383
Christmas Tree is finally out the door!
Posted by: Erasured, January 17, 2016, 8:58pm; Reply: 1384
Bad roomies are good fun
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2016, 1:35am; Reply: 1385
Slow Boat To China...... sank
Posted by: Erasured, January 18, 2016, 3:06pm; Reply: 1386
Baby bouncing in he chair
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2016, 10:56pm; Reply: 1387
Holy Moly, thats a big Mole
Posted by: Erasured, January 18, 2016, 10:58pm; Reply: 1388
There it was; gone!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2016, 11:54pm; Reply: 1389
I have a gut feeling that I have a big gut
Posted by: Erasured, January 19, 2016, 9:03am; Reply: 1390
Running through the meadow and it hit me
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 19, 2016, 2:12pm; Reply: 1391
Rub a dub dub Three men in a tub
Posted by: Erasured, January 19, 2016, 2:27pm; Reply: 1392
The lather stretches out
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 19, 2016, 5:20pm; Reply: 1393
F*cking Useless Ginger Tw*t. Nice catch.
Posted by: Erasured, January 19, 2016, 5:46pm; Reply: 1394
Jealousy is a curse
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 20, 2016, 6:17am; Reply: 1395
Sometimes its better to take the high road, the low one is flooded
Posted by: Erasured, January 20, 2016, 12:36pm; Reply: 1396
I've got that sinking feeling
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 20, 2016, 2:10pm; Reply: 1397
Out with the old and in with something older
Posted by: Erasured, January 20, 2016, 3:14pm; Reply: 1398
Play d'oh ruins the world
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 20, 2016, 7:17pm; Reply: 1399
My lips are stuck together. :K)
Posted by: Erasured, January 20, 2016, 8:05pm; Reply: 1400
Car got stuck in window
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 21, 2016, 2:34am; Reply: 1401
Fire down below.... She said
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 21, 2016, 7:28pm; Reply: 1402
Boss Flirting.
Posted by: Erasured, January 21, 2016, 10:26pm; Reply: 1403
Power to the masses
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 22, 2016, 3:29am; Reply: 1404
Drum roll........... Off the cliff
Posted by: Erasured, January 22, 2016, 9:09pm; Reply: 1405
Buried in the sand, it's roasting
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 22, 2016, 9:59pm; Reply: 1406
Stick a fork in it honey.....
Posted by: Erasured, January 22, 2016, 11:45pm; Reply: 1407
Treasure island peter
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 23, 2016, 8:50am; Reply: 1408
I'm slowly cloning my cars.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 12, 2016, 8:09pm; Reply: 1409
-18 is too warm apparently......don't turn the key!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 13, 2016, 1:52am; Reply: 1410
The Chinese lady asked if I wanted more Flied lice
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 20, 2016, 9:13pm; Reply: 1411
The year that all the trees disappeared. :(
Posted by: Erasured, February 20, 2016, 9:53pm; Reply: 1412
Chickens are cuckoo
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 20, 2016, 11:47pm; Reply: 1413
Dump the Trump
Posted by: Erasured, February 21, 2016, 12:11am; Reply: 1414
Corrie, the goto
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 21, 2016, 5:10am; Reply: 1415
when a problem comes along..... you must whip it
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 24, 2016, 8:06pm; Reply: 1416
Ordered a ship of fools but got a yacht full of idiots.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 25, 2016, 1:26am; Reply: 1417
Oh hail the queen......Boy George
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 25, 2016, 8:48pm; Reply: 1418
Strange Desires.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 26, 2016, 12:54am; Reply: 1419
Such a slob, he ran to mommy for cover
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 26, 2016, 4:06pm; Reply: 1420
They giveth and then they taketh away. :-/
Posted by: Erasured, February 26, 2016, 4:07pm; Reply: 1421
The King sneered at the jester
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 27, 2016, 2:07am; Reply: 1422
Beyond the wild blue yonder
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 27, 2016, 2:21pm; Reply: 1423
Womb you like to smile for the camera?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 27, 2016, 3:43pm; Reply: 1424
Call it new technology and they use it to burn and they show no concern
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 1, 2016, 5:22pm; Reply: 1425
The 5 day headache.
Posted by: Erasured, March 1, 2016, 9:16pm; Reply: 1426
Hangover, gets worse, need cheese
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 1, 2016, 11:56pm; Reply: 1427
Hangover gets worse with Trump in the lead :o
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 2, 2016, 7:23pm; Reply: 1428
Procrasti........ I cant be bothered.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 3, 2016, 12:30am; Reply: 1429
Have I got a deal for you 8) 8)
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 3, 2016, 4:43pm; Reply: 1430
Bring the chippy to me.
Posted by: Erasured, March 3, 2016, 9:21pm; Reply: 1431
Onion rings, folding bikes, heaven
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 3, 2016, 10:52pm; Reply: 1432
False alarm, its not your kid
Posted by: Erasured, March 4, 2016, 3:58pm; Reply: 1433
Phew, it was worrying me
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 4, 2016, 4:34pm; Reply: 1434
Don't change the locks - change the doors!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 4, 2016, 11:53pm; Reply: 1435
He is one lean mean toilet scrubbing machine
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 5, 2016, 1:09pm; Reply: 1436
Sinus of the times. :(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 5, 2016, 5:27pm; Reply: 1437
Nobody has ever mentioned his SMALL HANDS
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 5, 2016, 6:49pm; Reply: 1438
Everybody knew about his small penis though.
Posted by: Erasured, March 5, 2016, 10:49pm; Reply: 1439
All those years later, the vhs would bite back
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 6, 2016, 12:03am; Reply: 1440
Orange is the new black
Posted by: Erasured, March 6, 2016, 12:17am; Reply: 1441
Only for the naughty girls
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 6, 2016, 2:50am; Reply: 1442
Pull Donald Trumps finger, what sound does it make?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 6, 2016, 11:32am; Reply: 1443
When I said eat my girl private, I actually meant..........
Posted by: Erasured, March 6, 2016, 1:16pm; Reply: 1444
A showcase for all, God bless the Internet!
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 6, 2016, 2:40pm; Reply: 1445
Bogey team. >:(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 7, 2016, 4:39am; Reply: 1446
That milk tastes like no utter
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 9, 2016, 4:54pm; Reply: 1447
The men who fill the cows full of milk. I salute you.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 9, 2016, 10:36pm; Reply: 1448
I salute the man who remixed the moo moo mix. for all you do, this moo for you.
Posted by: Pughie, March 10, 2016, 9:03am; Reply: 1449
Returns Asks Erasure4rum?
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 10, 2016, 5:18pm; Reply: 1450
Burger me.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 11, 2016, 1:23am; Reply: 1451
To Trump and Beyond!
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 11, 2016, 5:47pm; Reply: 1452
Adolf Trump meets Donald Hitler.
Posted by: Erasured, March 11, 2016, 8:55pm; Reply: 1453
Politics, same circus different clowns
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 12, 2016, 1:07am; Reply: 1454
Clown Trump- America must trust bigot for laughs and dimensia
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 12, 2016, 8:27am; Reply: 1455
In the night garden....again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 12, 2016, 2:34pm; Reply: 1456
In your secret garden.... It's not so secret anymore
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 12, 2016, 3:03pm; Reply: 1457
The girl in the red car. :X
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 13, 2016, 12:30am; Reply: 1458
Don't touch my coconuts
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 13, 2016, 1:22pm; Reply: 1459
The other half has gone to the dogs.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 13, 2016, 3:29pm; Reply: 1460
he's gone over to the DARK side
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 13, 2016, 10:17pm; Reply: 1461
Dog Fondling.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 14, 2016, 1:57am; Reply: 1462
Trump this and Trump that..... In the end a royal arse
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 14, 2016, 8:57am; Reply: 1463
The flowers are screaming. Listen.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 15, 2016, 4:54am; Reply: 1464
Get him out here.... he's a troublemaker...... go back to mommy
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 15, 2016, 3:28pm; Reply: 1465
Leaky dog.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2016, 1:14am; Reply: 1466
He marches to a different Trump
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 16, 2016, 7:36pm; Reply: 1467
Eating the feet with the nails on.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2016, 10:48pm; Reply: 1468
Helloooooo..... a Flock Of Seagulls called..... He wants his hair back
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 17, 2016, 3:51pm; Reply: 1469
People desperately claiming Irish heritage just for one day.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 18, 2016, 2:57am; Reply: 1470
Republican schinanigans on St Patty equal a pot of crap
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 18, 2016, 4:41pm; Reply: 1471
Yearning for the Vine?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 18, 2016, 11:18pm; Reply: 1472
Bigot, bigot, bigot croaked the frog
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 19, 2016, 9:20am; Reply: 1473
The mid March hat.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 20, 2016, 2:49am; Reply: 1474
I will build a beautiful wall..... and I will build a beautiful tunnel
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 20, 2016, 10:00am; Reply: 1475
The lusty pensioner.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 20, 2016, 1:20pm; Reply: 1476
Let's not elect an Ompa Lumpa
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 22, 2016, 5:41pm; Reply: 1477
They walk among us.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 23, 2016, 1:25am; Reply: 1478
They said his hands are small and so was something else
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 23, 2016, 4:36pm; Reply: 1479
Behind the bike shed.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 25, 2016, 12:46pm; Reply: 1480
My wife looks better than your wife.... have you seen YOUR wife?
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 21, 2016, 6:35pm; Reply: 1481
Politics.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 22, 2016, 2:29am; Reply: 1482
Kanye is running for President of the all moron club
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 22, 2016, 7:45pm; Reply: 1483
A sorry end for Gold Rick.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 23, 2016, 2:17am; Reply: 1484
Hickory, dickory tock, some just stole my clock
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2016, 9:24am; Reply: 1485
Slow.Down.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 23, 2016, 7:45pm; Reply: 1486
Applications for Clown College have been seen in the US Election
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2016, 8:47pm; Reply: 1487
Enter Pin
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2016, 1:15am; Reply: 1488
Press 2 for Hebrew all others will answered in the order they will never be answered
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 24, 2016, 12:10pm; Reply: 1489
Beige.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2016, 5:06pm; Reply: 1490
Please pass the condiments
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 30, 2016, 5:06pm; Reply: 1491
Numb Painting
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 30, 2016, 8:04pm; Reply: 1492
The wig has come back to life
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2016, 11:54am; Reply: 1493
Youth.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2016, 1:11pm; Reply: 1494
Hay ma mama ma, life in a northern town
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2016, 6:59pm; Reply: 1495
It's all you ever wanted....but it's only for a month......
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 2, 2016, 2:18am; Reply: 1496
it all depends, that we depend on what we depend on
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 3, 2016, 7:58pm; Reply: 1497
Gibson you fool.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 4, 2016, 2:14am; Reply: 1498
Orange is the new black
Posted by: Pughie, June 4, 2016, 9:49am; Reply: 1499
50 is the new 40
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 4, 2016, 2:50pm; Reply: 1500
30 is the the year of a mystery box set
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 16, 2016, 7:16pm; Reply: 1501
There be trouble in the kitchen with the cleaners - send in the engineers!!!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 17, 2016, 6:05am; Reply: 1502
Any TP in the loo? no, it's Trump & Pence
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 17, 2016, 8:35am; Reply: 1503
Fetch the bread.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 17, 2016, 3:07pm; Reply: 1504
Orange is the new Black 2016
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 26, 2016, 7:32pm; Reply: 1505
£ x 5
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 27, 2016, 1:22am; Reply: 1506
who is the biggest BIGOT?
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 27, 2016, 8:52am; Reply: 1507
Car Insurance
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 27, 2016, 2:02pm; Reply: 1508
If it looks like a turd, most likely it is a turd
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 28, 2016, 7:05pm; Reply: 1509
Less waiting more doing
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 29, 2016, 12:36pm; Reply: 1510
He drinks tea with a straw
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 29, 2016, 1:09pm; Reply: 1511
A small dink
Posted by: Dunc, August 29, 2016, 4:04pm; Reply: 1512
The chocolate river in Willy Wonka is fantastic, isn't it.........
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 29, 2016, 10:47pm; Reply: 1513
Leaks, leaks and more leaks- please share the secret
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 30, 2016, 3:54pm; Reply: 1514
Boompa Loompa
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 30, 2016, 8:21pm; Reply: 1515
How much junk in that trunk?
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 30, 2016, 8:51pm; Reply: 1516
Grannies spending spree.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 30, 2016, 8:53pm; Reply: 1517
A blast from the past coming soon
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 31, 2016, 3:55pm; Reply: 1518
Loyalty of the modern day footballer...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 1, 2016, 3:48am; Reply: 1519
The wall was going to be huuuuuuuugh...... Until they found a tunnel
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 1, 2016, 7:03pm; Reply: 1520
The missing, the repeated and the unwanted.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 2, 2016, 3:30am; Reply: 1521
Somehow I've seen some of this before
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 2, 2016, 5:13pm; Reply: 1522
£80 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 3, 2016, 2:54am; Reply: 1523
Best Of of Best Of and The Very Best Of of the Best Of
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 3, 2016, 6:53am; Reply: 1524
The remix of the remix called slightly something else.
Posted by: dannylee, September 3, 2016, 9:44am; Reply: 1525
Remixes! , did I hear someone say remixes?

I once was lost but now I'm found.
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 3, 2016, 10:34am; Reply: 1526
Quoted from dannylee
Remixes! , did I hear someone say remixes?

I once was lost but now I'm found.


Kidnapped by aliens :o - probed ??) -  returned to earth. 8)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 3, 2016, 1:03pm; Reply: 1527
I can't pee because we found Dannylee- weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Posted by: dannylee, September 3, 2016, 1:28pm; Reply: 1528
Where did that puddle come from?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 3, 2016, 6:45pm; Reply: 1529
someone cant contain themselves at the moment and it's spilling over
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 3, 2016, 7:13pm; Reply: 1530
Psychotic Ginger.
Posted by: dannylee, September 4, 2016, 12:50am; Reply: 1531
Ginger vs redhead..........discuss
Posted by: Tin Soldier, September 4, 2016, 1:04am; Reply: 1532
Yes, please.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 4, 2016, 2:44am; Reply: 1533
Marianne or Ginger? One Island- DISCUSS
Posted by: suec, September 23, 2016, 12:40pm; Reply: 1534
Work tonight  :-/
Posted by: dannylee, September 23, 2016, 3:16pm; Reply: 1535
Bad lipsyncing
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 23, 2016, 7:15pm; Reply: 1536
Hoarse voice
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 24, 2016, 5:24am; Reply: 1537
No more riots for today
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 24, 2016, 9:16am; Reply: 1538
The screaming.....
Posted by: dannylee, September 24, 2016, 7:39pm; Reply: 1539
My teeth hurt
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 24, 2016, 8:05pm; Reply: 1540
TWO!!!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 25, 2016, 1:18am; Reply: 1541
Bring on the dancing horses
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 25, 2016, 10:41am; Reply: 1542
Should I, shouldn't I?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 26, 2016, 2:59am; Reply: 1543
How do you stop the runs..... On my nose
Posted by: dannylee, September 26, 2016, 5:42pm; Reply: 1544
Small mice with tiny hammers.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 27, 2016, 12:46am; Reply: 1545
Sink or swim
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 27, 2016, 3:27pm; Reply: 1546
Drowning....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 27, 2016, 9:12pm; Reply: 1547
He has small hands and he wants to be president
Posted by: dannylee, September 28, 2016, 1:24pm; Reply: 1548
The tooth fairy stole my dentures.
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 28, 2016, 6:58pm; Reply: 1549
I'm in the wrong and I wont talk. :X
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 29, 2016, 2:11am; Reply: 1550
Orange you glad he lost the debate
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 29, 2016, 6:58pm; Reply: 1551
3 men, same message, no content. :-/ :( >:(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 30, 2016, 12:52am; Reply: 1552
Every man has to reach his hell to reach paradise
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 30, 2016, 3:16pm; Reply: 1553
Dinner lady rage
Posted by: dannylee, September 30, 2016, 6:41pm; Reply: 1554
Make me an offer?....... No, a good one!
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 30, 2016, 6:48pm; Reply: 1555
Standing up to get the remote control.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 1, 2016, 11:26pm; Reply: 1556
Plenty of crap to mull over
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 2, 2016, 4:16pm; Reply: 1557
Career Criminals
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 3, 2016, 3:27am; Reply: 1558
Slap him out of it
Posted by: dannylee, October 3, 2016, 2:23pm; Reply: 1559
Dirty dishwasher
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 3, 2016, 6:38pm; Reply: 1560
Shave the Mole.
Posted by: dannylee, October 4, 2016, 11:12am; Reply: 1561
My dinner is in the dog.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 4, 2016, 8:47pm; Reply: 1562
My dog is my dinner.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 5, 2016, 1:38am; Reply: 1563
I don't pay taxes because I'm smart.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 6, 2016, 6:47pm; Reply: 1564
The shouty salesman marks the lines.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 6, 2016, 11:01pm; Reply: 1565
Love that smell..... Oh never mind
Posted by: dannylee, October 7, 2016, 12:29pm; Reply: 1566
Pull string bin bags.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 7, 2016, 1:00pm; Reply: 1567
Storm in a teacup saucer
Posted by: dannylee, October 7, 2016, 7:29pm; Reply: 1568
A stitch in time saves............ Oh I can't be bothered with all that!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 8, 2016, 12:28am; Reply: 1569
Blow me down.... said the sailboat
Posted by: dannylee, October 8, 2016, 1:01am; Reply: 1570
No you can't have my last Rolo.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 8, 2016, 1:32am; Reply: 1571
He was buried in a Box Set...... RIP
Posted by: dannylee, October 8, 2016, 7:06am; Reply: 1572
No I don't need new facia.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 8, 2016, 8:28am; Reply: 1573
Busy....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 8, 2016, 1:40pm; Reply: 1574
He is suffering from withdrawals...... She said
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 8, 2016, 2:14pm; Reply: 1575
Mind mush
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 8, 2016, 2:17pm; Reply: 1576
Slip him silly.... He is need beat down
Posted by: dannylee, October 8, 2016, 8:55pm; Reply: 1577
I said pull the rip cord...not rip the pull cord!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 9, 2016, 1:17pm; Reply: 1578
Thats not mine.... she said
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 9, 2016, 3:56pm; Reply: 1579
Sunday Blues
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 9, 2016, 6:57pm; Reply: 1580
Cock a doodle do  said Melania Trump
Posted by: dannylee, October 9, 2016, 11:29pm; Reply: 1581
Wait till your father gets home!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 10, 2016, 12:25am; Reply: 1582
So we have a case of the Mondays.... Boo whooooo.
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 10, 2016, 6:40pm; Reply: 1583
Right person.....wrong time?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 11, 2016, 6:18am; Reply: 1584
Wrong person...little hands
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 11, 2016, 4:43pm; Reply: 1585
Little hands....huge package.
Posted by: dannylee, October 11, 2016, 6:52pm; Reply: 1586
You named her what!
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 11, 2016, 7:02pm; Reply: 1587
Fallen over the dog...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 13, 2016, 3:11am; Reply: 1588
Big package.... No brains
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 26, 2016, 1:59pm; Reply: 1589
Week from hell.
Posted by: dannylee, October 27, 2016, 12:53am; Reply: 1590
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Big package.... No brains


Large brain.......Small package  :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 27, 2016, 2:18am; Reply: 1591
Have you no shame, carry on......
Posted by: chemicalboy, October 29, 2016, 9:27am; Reply: 1592
Spanish Flu.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, October 29, 2016, 8:30pm; Reply: 1593
Hombre flu, no wimps allowed
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 11, 2016, 5:54pm; Reply: 1594
Sodium Hydrochlorite in Slough
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 12, 2016, 3:22am; Reply: 1595
Knobby Williams has an opening act I hear
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 12, 2016, 9:34am; Reply: 1596
Sleeping Beauty.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 12, 2016, 1:20pm; Reply: 1597
Take the low road and nobody gets hurt
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 12, 2016, 2:19pm; Reply: 1598
Boxing an octopus.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 12, 2016, 5:47pm; Reply: 1599
Blowing a Blowfish
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 12, 2016, 10:44pm; Reply: 1600
It's going to be a beautiful wall and equally beautiful tunnel ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 12, 2016, 10:54pm; Reply: 1601
She's off again
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 13, 2016, 1:51am; Reply: 1602
I want to bang on the drum all day
Posted by: dannylee, November 13, 2016, 9:16am; Reply: 1603
That mouse just will not die.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 13, 2016, 1:53pm; Reply: 1604
Put the lotion in the basket
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 13, 2016, 5:25pm; Reply: 1605
A square peg will fit a round hole if you try hard enough.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 14, 2016, 12:11am; Reply: 1606
So what you are saying is you have a case of Dumbitis
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 14, 2016, 7:17pm; Reply: 1607
Lol followed by lol followed by lol.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 15, 2016, 1:38am; Reply: 1608
I'll have a big salad...no I mean a BIG salad.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 15, 2016, 1:50am; Reply: 1609
Please tell me you know that I know what you should have known before I knew
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 15, 2016, 1:54am; Reply: 1610
We have your foil hat on backorder.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 15, 2016, 2:53am; Reply: 1611
Your waiting for a box set to come in a box that you hope was boxed correctly
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 15, 2016, 5:37am; Reply: 1612
I just exchanged a Dalek because it wasn't threatening to kill me properly.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 15, 2016, 7:24pm; Reply: 1613
Exsperminate, Exsperminate. ??)
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 15, 2016, 7:30pm; Reply: 1614
(I actually say EXFOLIATE! when showering)

Life is doing origami with a pair of salad tongs.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 16, 2016, 12:52am; Reply: 1615
I just hold my breath and fart
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 16, 2016, 3:41pm; Reply: 1616
A chipmunk singing.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 16, 2016, 10:07pm; Reply: 1617
Keep rubbing the beads- harder,HARDER!
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 17, 2016, 1:28am; Reply: 1618
Madness is buying Christmas ornaments and not having a tree.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 17, 2016, 1:22pm; Reply: 1619
Mayhem is doing soon- Next Friday
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 17, 2016, 4:36pm; Reply: 1620
I think my laptop has been peeling back the tape over the camera when I'm not looking...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 18, 2016, 2:22am; Reply: 1621
Stand tall or sink
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 18, 2016, 6:53am; Reply: 1622
I had my popcorn buttered tonight.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 18, 2016, 1:41pm; Reply: 1623
Cat on a hot tin roof.... Got burned
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 18, 2016, 4:37pm; Reply: 1624
I can't speak French, but I lipsync fluently.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 18, 2016, 4:45pm; Reply: 1625
Open dog.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 18, 2016, 8:25pm; Reply: 1626
They are going to build a wall around the White House and it will be HUUUUUUGHH and  BEAUUUUUUTIFUL
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 18, 2016, 8:37pm; Reply: 1627
Kiss my 8 ball socks.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 19, 2016, 1:35am; Reply: 1628
Slap me silly.... Said no one
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 19, 2016, 2:41am; Reply: 1629
Just one more thing...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 19, 2016, 2:58am; Reply: 1630
And now back to our chaotic split country
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 19, 2016, 9:25am; Reply: 1631
Granny Devious.
Posted by: dannylee, November 19, 2016, 11:57am; Reply: 1632
Riptide in my pants.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 19, 2016, 1:20pm; Reply: 1633
Steamy Windows
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 19, 2016, 3:54pm; Reply: 1634
Ohhhhhhh......great A No Powder Up Your Nose Zone
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 19, 2016, 11:36pm; Reply: 1635
If a Friday is black, the week before must be grey.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 20, 2016, 12:46am; Reply: 1636
Cyber Monday is run by robots
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 20, 2016, 12:54am; Reply: 1637
Limit of one Human slave per purchase.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 20, 2016, 1:06am; Reply: 1638
Flip the switch, it's going to be a bumpy ride
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 20, 2016, 1:09am; Reply: 1639
Are you gellin'?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 20, 2016, 1:18am; Reply: 1640
Stand by..... Cyber wars are about to start
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 20, 2016, 1:22am; Reply: 1641
I'm putting my wallet in a safe and burying it until new year's.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 20, 2016, 3:35am; Reply: 1642
Rumor has it that there is some box set floating about
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 20, 2016, 5:27pm; Reply: 1643
Ulcer on the tongue.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 20, 2016, 11:54pm; Reply: 1644
Herpes..... the new catch phrase
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 21, 2016, 7:59pm; Reply: 1645
Shity and Sicky strike again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 21, 2016, 8:48pm; Reply: 1646
Word of the day- Bamboozled.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 22, 2016, 10:33am; Reply: 1647
I had a Kinder Surprise Egg and didn't choke to death.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 22, 2016, 2:10pm; Reply: 1648
Clueless on Pennsylvania Avenue spotted
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 22, 2016, 5:06pm; Reply: 1649
Strange Times
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 22, 2016, 9:38pm; Reply: 1650
Stranger Things
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 23, 2016, 2:10am; Reply: 1651
Strange Brew
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 23, 2016, 7:50pm; Reply: 1652
The longest Final Warning
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 24, 2016, 6:31am; Reply: 1653
Bob Marley wants you to Get Up, Stand Up, Dont Give Up The Fight
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 24, 2016, 8:42am; Reply: 1654
My wallet is evaporating as we speak.  ??)
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 24, 2016, 7:42pm; Reply: 1655
Let's meet. But somewhere really awkward.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 24, 2016, 10:28pm; Reply: 1656
Bathroom, it is.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 25, 2016, 12:56am; Reply: 1657
Oxi Clean or Oxi Moron
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 25, 2016, 1:37am; Reply: 1658
The turkey holocaust has ended.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 25, 2016, 3:57am; Reply: 1659
Black Friday..... It's dark out there
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 25, 2016, 4:38am; Reply: 1660
Not everyone is gonna come home.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 25, 2016, 5:35am; Reply: 1661
Crosshairs on a $60 flat screen that will break in a year..... Score!
Posted by: Pughie, November 25, 2016, 8:57am; Reply: 1662
27 of them paid for it
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 25, 2016, 11:14am; Reply: 1663
It's not a deal unless you trampled on at least one grandma.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 25, 2016, 1:45pm; Reply: 1664
Floor samples dash and grab...... Survival of the fittest
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 25, 2016, 5:11pm; Reply: 1665
Brown Monday
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 25, 2016, 9:23pm; Reply: 1666
Take it back Tuesday.
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 25, 2016, 9:54pm; Reply: 1667
Dark times
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 28, 2016, 12:08am; Reply: 1668
Dictator dies....... Carry on
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 28, 2016, 3:43am; Reply: 1669
JoAnne isn't sleeping well tonight.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 28, 2016, 5:46am; Reply: 1670
Stick A fork in him
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 28, 2016, 6:18am; Reply: 1671
They'll finally get that Starbucks they always didn't want.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 28, 2016, 1:38pm; Reply: 1672
So there is more to the story.......
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 28, 2016, 4:30pm; Reply: 1673
That is Bull Andy...
Posted by: Erasured, November 28, 2016, 10:07pm; Reply: 1674
And then it was over
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 29, 2016, 12:33am; Reply: 1675
Bloody tour in 2018, I won't see Knobbie at all cost
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 29, 2016, 5:42pm; Reply: 1676
Matalan is close to a breakdown....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 30, 2016, 3:06am; Reply: 1677
Trump dump truck...now in service
Posted by: Tin Soldier, November 30, 2016, 7:10am; Reply: 1678
Funny how that Breakfast At Tiffany's opening scene couldn't be shot now without billions spent digitally removing swarming yokels.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, November 30, 2016, 1:11pm; Reply: 1679
The maggots are happy in Cuba.... Oh wait he was cremated
Posted by: chemicalboy, November 30, 2016, 7:27pm; Reply: 1680
Aha, The soft stuff.
Posted by: Erasured, November 30, 2016, 10:15pm; Reply: 1681
Duran Duran would follow suit but be defined as leaders
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 1, 2016, 12:19am; Reply: 1682
I like the micro erasure logo on the Knobbie posters
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 1, 2016, 4:31am; Reply: 1683
"Contrarian Unca Mike"
Posted by: Erasured, December 1, 2016, 9:46am; Reply: 1684
Knobbly knees with twinkle toes
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 1, 2016, 1:07pm; Reply: 1685
He is loopy because he eats Fruit Loops
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 1, 2016, 1:10pm; Reply: 1686
Mikey likes it!
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 1, 2016, 5:53pm; Reply: 1687
Harder to read than a closed book.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 2, 2016, 1:02am; Reply: 1688
Flat as a pancake, yummy
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 2, 2016, 4:57pm; Reply: 1689
The unhappy Chef.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 2, 2016, 7:34pm; Reply: 1690
I have pine needles in my socks.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 3, 2016, 12:54am; Reply: 1691
Those who say there is no devil never dealt with a rebate.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 3, 2016, 1:01am; Reply: 1692
Forget walking on fire..... He walks on LEGOS :P
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 3, 2016, 5:10pm; Reply: 1693
Unexpected Fair.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 4, 2016, 1:28am; Reply: 1694
I see China not vewy happy
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 5, 2016, 4:53pm; Reply: 1695
Snowball replaced by Black Beauty.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 6, 2016, 1:49am; Reply: 1696
Taco Tuesday...... Pass the beans
Posted by: Erasured, December 6, 2016, 9:55am; Reply: 1697
Fizzy water weetabix and tea
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 6, 2016, 1:31pm; Reply: 1698
Lock her up, and her server too
Posted by: Erasured, December 6, 2016, 2:41pm; Reply: 1699
The school run and no ice cream
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 6, 2016, 5:21pm; Reply: 1700
The vaccine is causing the disease. :X
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 7, 2016, 3:30am; Reply: 1701
He runs the Pet Shop but he's not a boy.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 7, 2016, 6:05pm; Reply: 1702
Winter was due at 10:15 but did not come.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 8, 2016, 12:29am; Reply: 1703
He is a cockwobble and is president
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 8, 2016, 5:17pm; Reply: 1704
Have answers before questions.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 8, 2016, 10:00pm; Reply: 1705
Seven hours to old age.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 9, 2016, 1:10am; Reply: 1706
CombOver here said the President Elect......but I kept my distance.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 9, 2016, 10:35am; Reply: 1707
Now where did I put that CD player...?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 9, 2016, 1:34pm; Reply: 1708
What is a CD player? Said the millennial
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 9, 2016, 4:02pm; Reply: 1709
DHL is text messaging me every few hours that a package is coming, but not yet.

I've had less frequent texts from women that were more promising.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 9, 2016, 7:48pm; Reply: 1710
Hold on to the good people.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2016, 1:34am; Reply: 1711
There is a DHL sighting in NYC, and he has a flat tire
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 10, 2016, 6:18am; Reply: 1712
:(

Some people are funnier than they think they are. ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 10, 2016, 11:52am; Reply: 1713
THE cough.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 10, 2016, 1:31pm; Reply: 1714
Odd; I just found a UK AC cord in my house. I must have British squatters hiding somewhere. Probably in desperate need of a shave.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2016, 3:00pm; Reply: 1715
Boxes upon boxes of boxes coming in boxed up
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 10, 2016, 5:00pm; Reply: 1716
CD1 is missing. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2016, 5:34pm; Reply: 1717
What you hear, What you hear........ is what you get. 8)
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 11, 2016, 1:08am; Reply: 1718
I hear Vince can't plug in xmas lights without being shocked.

I wonder if he has a swear jar and used it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 11, 2016, 2:01pm; Reply: 1719
Vinyl, vinyl, vinyl...... Vinyl everywhere
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 11, 2016, 4:33pm; Reply: 1720
Money, money, money...can't pull it out of thin air. ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 11, 2016, 5:34pm; Reply: 1721
Did they not have a pen?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 11, 2016, 9:08pm; Reply: 1722
Oh look at the new cabinet...... stuffed with crooks
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 11, 2016, 9:22pm; Reply: 1723
I thought crockery goes in a cabinet? :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 12, 2016, 3:37am; Reply: 1724
No more wire hangers!!!!
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 12, 2016, 3:43am; Reply: 1725
Something's wrong when the customer is stocking the shelves and trying to make a sale with an employee...actually happened tonight.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 12, 2016, 3:47am; Reply: 1726
He was a good stock boy from the outside of town.....
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 12, 2016, 7:09pm; Reply: 1727
♪"Heeeeere in myyyy heart, I will forget which album you're onnnnn..."♪  ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 12, 2016, 7:36pm; Reply: 1728
Noel and Leon were A-lone
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 13, 2016, 12:02am; Reply: 1729
So he's taking a soapy bath.......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 13, 2016, 7:52am; Reply: 1730
I'm a man after midnight.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 13, 2016, 7:51pm; Reply: 1731
Box of emotions.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 14, 2016, 2:03am; Reply: 1732
Box of expectation turns into box of repetition
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 16, 2016, 9:13am; Reply: 1733
'There's a fine line between diplomacy and brinkmanship' - Tin Soldier Eliot

8)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 16, 2016, 1:09pm; Reply: 1734
Clean up on isle 4
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 16, 2016, 4:37pm; Reply: 1735
Past 5 in the morning feeling worse for the weather it seems....cough, choke and f**king splutter.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 22, 2016, 4:33pm; Reply: 1736
The greed of the crowds.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 22, 2016, 10:51pm; Reply: 1737
The crowd is greedy because of GREED
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 23, 2016, 1:32am; Reply: 1738
8 outta 10 ain't bad.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 23, 2016, 2:38am; Reply: 1739
Frankie say....... prepare for a new Two Tribe Cold War
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 23, 2016, 2:16pm; Reply: 1740
Beardy Bollocks.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 23, 2016, 10:56pm; Reply: 1741
May the force be with her.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 24, 2016, 2:04am; Reply: 1742
Twitter rant by a Pumpkin
Posted by: Pughie, December 24, 2016, 9:35am; Reply: 1743
6
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 24, 2016, 10:15am; Reply: 1744
I did not see you.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 24, 2016, 1:42pm; Reply: 1745
Silent night...... until I farted ;D
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 24, 2016, 2:11pm; Reply: 1746
(pinches nose)

Feels like an eve to me, but then I always plan big things for the following day.

(opens a window).

8)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 24, 2016, 5:18pm; Reply: 1747
Thanks for another Tuesday...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 24, 2016, 7:45pm; Reply: 1748
Crack up...... Your a bad stain and you need to be cleaned up
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 24, 2016, 8:33pm; Reply: 1749
Who wrapped the dog?
Posted by: dannylee, December 24, 2016, 9:44pm; Reply: 1750
Tomorrow is going to end badly.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 24, 2016, 10:28pm; Reply: 1751
Tomorrow will probably begin badly.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 24, 2016, 10:57pm; Reply: 1752
Tonight's not looking all that great either...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 25, 2016, 12:17am; Reply: 1753
Right now is not looking good
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 25, 2016, 2:18pm; Reply: 1754
Dinner for 72.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 25, 2016, 2:36pm; Reply: 1755
Recycle and regift.... Pass it on
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 25, 2016, 7:44pm; Reply: 1756
Beef Curtains
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 25, 2016, 9:45pm; Reply: 1757
There are kids watching!

My snow globes are in a pinch.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 26, 2016, 1:27am; Reply: 1758
Somebody is on the naughty list
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 27, 2016, 12:31pm; Reply: 1759
Babysitting
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 27, 2016, 4:06pm; Reply: 1760
Many happy returns.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 27, 2016, 5:01pm; Reply: 1761
No one died.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 27, 2016, 9:53pm; Reply: 1762
Can the next year be a little kinder to our stars
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 28, 2016, 8:32pm; Reply: 1763
My printer is mocking me.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 28, 2016, 9:20pm; Reply: 1764
Grim Reaper celebrity Pokémon - gotta catch 'em all.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 29, 2016, 2:22am; Reply: 1765
Change to change the adult diapers
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 29, 2016, 4:43pm; Reply: 1766
No more Fools
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 30, 2016, 2:05am; Reply: 1767
Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders won't upset us.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 30, 2016, 4:26pm; Reply: 1768
Let the phone call last forever.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 30, 2016, 7:19pm; Reply: 1769
Wallet still leaking like a sieve.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2016, 12:47am; Reply: 1770
New year, more box set, empty wallet to start New Year
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 31, 2016, 5:59am; Reply: 1771
I need to start a GoFundMe to be able to pledge to Pledge Music. :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2016, 10:21am; Reply: 1772
Wedge Music.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2016, 3:34pm; Reply: 1773
Oh lawd, please dispose of idiots of the world in 2017
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2016, 3:41pm; Reply: 1774
Quoted from Mikedepaz
Oh lawd, please dispose of idiots of the world in 2017


chemicalboy twitches at his curtains fearing an imminent sniper attack.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2016, 8:43pm; Reply: 1775
Orange you glad we have someone in charge?
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2016, 9:59pm; Reply: 1776
Where the hell is Mrs White?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2016, 11:36pm; Reply: 1777
Doughnut time is coming to a sudden end :(
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2016, 11:51pm; Reply: 1778
Sock itch
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2016, 11:53pm; Reply: 1779
Quoted from chemicalboy
Sock itch


better than jock itch ;D
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 1, 2017, 5:51am; Reply: 1780
No hangover, but still have a headache. Just not fair.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 1, 2017, 5:57am; Reply: 1781
The start of something new is overrated
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2017, 1:15pm; Reply: 1782
Visitors
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 1, 2017, 1:55pm; Reply: 1783
Chinese on Mars open the first take out
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 1, 2017, 9:26pm; Reply: 1784
Pine sap has staying power. Oof, does it.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2017, 9:58pm; Reply: 1785
Get it organised.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 1, 2017, 10:52pm; Reply: 1786
Fire in the hole...... Damn world
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 2, 2017, 9:44am; Reply: 1787
Puffball
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 2, 2017, 3:14pm; Reply: 1788
Row row row your boat, gently down the drain
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 2, 2017, 3:18pm; Reply: 1789
Buffet for the 7000
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 2, 2017, 3:30pm; Reply: 1790
No one famous dead yet?
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 9, 2017, 4:54pm; Reply: 1791
Keith is a Moron.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 10, 2017, 1:40am; Reply: 1792
Pumpkin leader meets his evil twin
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 10, 2017, 5:49pm; Reply: 1793
Disowned and set free in the sea of sharks....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 11, 2017, 1:18am; Reply: 1794
Debunk debunk debunk, he smells like a skunk
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 11, 2017, 4:44pm; Reply: 1795
Don't quote me...
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 12, 2017, 1:34am; Reply: 1796
Positive thoughts, positive thoughts...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 12, 2017, 2:32am; Reply: 1797
You a fake news........ Next
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 12, 2017, 8:19pm; Reply: 1798
Security is Free.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 13, 2017, 4:10am; Reply: 1799
Escaped the clutches of death once again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 13, 2017, 4:25am; Reply: 1800
Down the hatch, finish it off
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 13, 2017, 5:22pm; Reply: 1801
Izzy Wizzy lets get not so busy.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2017, 1:43am; Reply: 1802
Send in the back ups, we are in for a fight
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 14, 2017, 11:56am; Reply: 1803
CSL
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2017, 4:05pm; Reply: 1804
Do they offer a warranty on stupid
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 17, 2017, 3:00am; Reply: 1805
eBay is a cruel mistress...who just found out I had another woman on the side.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 17, 2017, 8:00pm; Reply: 1806
I'm off to China.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2017, 2:29am; Reply: 1807
You build a wall, I build a tunnel
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 18, 2017, 3:10pm; Reply: 1808
I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of zzzzz...
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 18, 2017, 9:59pm; Reply: 1809
The mini giant.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 18, 2017, 11:16pm; Reply: 1810
We live in a world with a crazy orange man this Friday
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 25, 2017, 8:20pm; Reply: 1811
You build a wall, I'll build a tunnel
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 25, 2017, 11:55pm; Reply: 1812
Quoted from chemicalboy
You build a wall, I'll build a tunnel


Wait a second here, I said this crap a couple days ago. Ya lun'
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 26, 2017, 10:03pm; Reply: 1813
Quoted from Mikedepaz


Wait a second here, I said this crap a couple days ago. Ya lun'


I think you'll find what I actually meant to say was:

Wall build tunnel build I'll you a a  :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 26, 2017, 11:17pm; Reply: 1814
Orange you glad we have an orange president who likes to make fun of you
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 27, 2017, 7:58am; Reply: 1815
Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Meow Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof  Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof  Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Purr Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 27, 2017, 12:06pm; Reply: 1816
tl;dr ;)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 27, 2017, 1:23pm; Reply: 1817
Woof.... Meaow............CRUNCH!
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 27, 2017, 4:30pm; Reply: 1818
Small car - big bill. Not paying.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 1, 2017, 6:10pm; Reply: 1819
Happy Baked Alaska Day!
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 1, 2017, 6:50pm; Reply: 1820
How do you spell Turquoise?

Mint Green.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 2, 2017, 2:04am; Reply: 1821
The world has gone to the dogs- woof!
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 3, 2017, 8:33pm; Reply: 1822
Where's the revolution? Sitting in a steaming pile of shite. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 4, 2017, 12:07am; Reply: 1823
Big deal, it's a wig
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 4, 2017, 1:52pm; Reply: 1824
Orange Cog.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 5, 2017, 12:56am; Reply: 1825
The stock of Orange Juice has plummeted.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 5, 2017, 10:16am; Reply: 1826
Red Carpet.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 5, 2017, 1:48pm; Reply: 1827
Rumour has it that Vince Clarke is doing something as we speak
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 6, 2017, 1:55am; Reply: 1828
He's taking out the trash.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 6, 2017, 2:13am; Reply: 1829
A Tin Soldier in a New York City winter will surely get rusty
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 6, 2017, 3:36am; Reply: 1830
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 6, 2017, 3:56am; Reply: 1831
A red Tin Soldier is downright silly
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 6, 2017, 5:32am; Reply: 1832
:-/

It's not as if one would paint their black wool hat...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 6, 2017, 1:37pm; Reply: 1833
He's not rusty he just has stiff joints
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 6, 2017, 8:30pm; Reply: 1834
Rusty smoked his stiff joints and dreamt of a Tin Soldier
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 7, 2017, 2:27am; Reply: 1835
Nothing a proper lube job can't fix
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 7, 2017, 11:09am; Reply: 1836
Next time heat that lube first.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 7, 2017, 1:38pm; Reply: 1837
Expansion retraction.... What the doctor ordered
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 7, 2017, 4:55pm; Reply: 1838
Simpleton mood swings
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 7, 2017, 7:44pm; Reply: 1839
Not sure if that was a thwok or a thwak.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 7, 2017, 7:59pm; Reply: 1840
See Clouds Dan Posts.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 8, 2017, 12:43am; Reply: 1841
King Dong is on the prowl
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 8, 2017, 6:19pm; Reply: 1842
Sofia No.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 9, 2017, 3:58am; Reply: 1843
Ivanka and Willy Wonka..... Just because
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 9, 2017, 8:27pm; Reply: 1844
The un-official Cake competition is on the road show from London....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 10, 2017, 2:57am; Reply: 1845
Crap shoot
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 10, 2017, 8:23pm; Reply: 1846
You're banned. Leave Kyle alone...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 11, 2017, 12:21am; Reply: 1847
I try to discover...... That my coffee is sweeter
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 11, 2017, 9:00am; Reply: 1848
JS or JA? 11  :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 11, 2017, 12:23pm; Reply: 1849
Too much junk in the trunk
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 11, 2017, 12:35pm; Reply: 1850
Waiting.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 12, 2017, 12:39am; Reply: 1851
Wait... too much junk in the Trump
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 12, 2017, 12:01pm; Reply: 1852
Get un-fit.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 12, 2017, 12:56pm; Reply: 1853
When a problem comes along, you must Whip It
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 12, 2017, 1:52pm; Reply: 1854
I only need four more walruses.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 12, 2017, 8:23pm; Reply: 1855
Series Missing Link
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 13, 2017, 11:40pm; Reply: 1856
Lumpy and cold.... She said
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 14, 2017, 4:51pm; Reply: 1857
Goodbye Pothole Pete.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 15, 2017, 1:43am; Reply: 1858
Vladimir Trump. bwahahahahahahahaha
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 15, 2017, 4:29pm; Reply: 1859
World. :-/
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 15, 2017, 9:48pm; Reply: 1860
Too much, too fast, and and not even a drink.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 16, 2017, 3:41am; Reply: 1861
What in the world is up with that title?
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 16, 2017, 3:01pm; Reply: 1862
Sounds like a RAID commercial.
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 16, 2017, 8:12pm; Reply: 1863
Superstar Referees
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 16, 2017, 9:49pm; Reply: 1864
I could use a little this, that, and the other, but I ran out of ice.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 17, 2017, 12:39am; Reply: 1865
Rough and tough steak
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 17, 2017, 8:26pm; Reply: 1866
Ginger Tears
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 17, 2017, 9:26pm; Reply: 1867
Wore my good shoes today.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 17, 2017, 11:31pm; Reply: 1868
Believe that is not what you think it is
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 18, 2017, 2:53pm; Reply: 1869
Weddings.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 18, 2017, 7:51pm; Reply: 1870
Time to wipe bum she said
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 18, 2017, 9:01pm; Reply: 1871
2 hour coffee power up....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 18, 2017, 9:38pm; Reply: 1872
We're a peeing on Europeans
Posted by: Tin Soldier, February 19, 2017, 6:12am; Reply: 1873
Beans and Brussel Sprouts means sleeping alone.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 19, 2017, 6:19am; Reply: 1874
Fire in the hole!
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 19, 2017, 10:02am; Reply: 1875
The zero is deflated.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 19, 2017, 1:34pm; Reply: 1876
Did you say Lincoln City?
Posted by: chemicalboy, February 19, 2017, 7:45pm; Reply: 1877
Project Worry
Posted by: Mikedepaz, February 19, 2017, 9:23pm; Reply: 1878
Time to blow something up as a distraction
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 11, 2017, 1:42pm; Reply: 1879
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 11, 2017, 2:14pm; Reply: 1880
Sleep tight, it's going to be a bumpy road ahead
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 11, 2017, 3:57pm; Reply: 1881
The mute best friend.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 12, 2017, 12:58am; Reply: 1882
Radical, radical, radical
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 12, 2017, 4:28pm; Reply: 1883
Welcome to the Human show. £12 parking.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 12, 2017, 4:36pm; Reply: 1884
Happily sitting in the loo and there goes number two
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 13, 2017, 8:06pm; Reply: 1885
Nowhere for the mini smoke to go...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 13, 2017, 10:04pm; Reply: 1886
He is depressed by man boobs when he runs
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 14, 2017, 8:11am; Reply: 1887
I need a shovel...or several.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 14, 2017, 12:50pm; Reply: 1888
Nice day to have a Blizzard at Dairy Queen
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 14, 2017, 4:27pm; Reply: 1889
Blizzard jokes from someone in Florida will not go over as well as they think.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 14, 2017, 4:33pm; Reply: 1890
Gone Be World - The Norfolk version
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 14, 2017, 10:38pm; Reply: 1891
Sun, Fruity drink, golden sand, warm waters..... did I forget anything else?
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 15, 2017, 2:58am; Reply: 1892
Compassion.  :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 15, 2017, 1:05pm; Reply: 1893
Oh yessssire, Passion Fruit!
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 15, 2017, 4:47pm; Reply: 1894
Mr Meh.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 16, 2017, 12:53am; Reply: 1895
Mig might take that personally. ;)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2017, 12:57am; Reply: 1896
Kickin the tin can up the road
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 16, 2017, 7:04am; Reply: 1897
I'm feeling singled out. I think this snow blocking my door smells of oranges and cartoon mice.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2017, 12:35pm; Reply: 1898
It's beginning to a lot look like...... Flori...Dahhhhh
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 16, 2017, 5:42pm; Reply: 1899
Milkgate.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 16, 2017, 11:46pm; Reply: 1900
My microwave just took a picture........ Hmmmm
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 17, 2017, 4:15am; Reply: 1901
She loves me to the sky, sky, sky...she loves me not...she loves me to the sky, sky, sky...she loves me not...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 17, 2017, 12:28pm; Reply: 1902
So here we have it.... Ya happy!
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 17, 2017, 7:37pm; Reply: 1903
So many people enjoy a glass of Whine.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 25, 2017, 4:55pm; Reply: 1904
Car Hunting with sharpened spanners.
Posted by: Dunc, March 25, 2017, 5:58pm; Reply: 1905
A spectral sinister figure that appears in the dead of night by your bedside.............farting.........
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 25, 2017, 6:32pm; Reply: 1906
Comments of the masses mistaken for correctness.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 25, 2017, 7:48pm; Reply: 1907
You suffer from being a radical moron
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 25, 2017, 10:26pm; Reply: 1908
Tonight I will eat the Saturday meal.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 25, 2017, 10:29pm; Reply: 1909
Tomorrow, I will pay half price for the same.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 25, 2017, 10:33pm; Reply: 1910
Buy My Wheels
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 25, 2017, 10:43pm; Reply: 1911
Veggie hot bog, wheat bun, low sodium mustard = no second date.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 25, 2017, 11:24pm; Reply: 1912
Molly wouldn't would she?
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 7, 2017, 6:47pm; Reply: 1913
Len Flapped....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 8, 2017, 2:23am; Reply: 1914
Sloppy seconds for Sloppy Joe
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 8, 2017, 4:09am; Reply: 1915
"Toe bone connected to the foot bone...Foot bone connected to the heel bone...Heel bone connected to the ankle bone...Ankle bone conn-SNAP!.."

"Doctor, Doctor..."
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 8, 2017, 6:24am; Reply: 1916
Brace yourself..... Said the dentist
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 8, 2017, 6:37am; Reply: 1917
Give me some wood.....said the carpenter
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 8, 2017, 2:49pm; Reply: 1918
Sink or swim.... Or World Be Gone
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 8, 2017, 3:00pm; Reply: 1919
Where is the please?
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 10, 2017, 6:54pm; Reply: 1920
Three plus two plus five equals shite.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 10, 2017, 10:38pm; Reply: 1921
Being on bended knee is not automatically a marriage proposal.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 10, 2017, 11:03pm; Reply: 1922
Not toilet trained, but plop
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 11, 2017, 4:22pm; Reply: 1923
5 hours of tshh, tshh, tshh.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 12, 2017, 3:09am; Reply: 1924
White House Spokesman has a foot stuck in his mouth........ HELP!
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 12, 2017, 6:31pm; Reply: 1925
Snow Castles with Iggle Piggle
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 13, 2017, 1:33pm; Reply: 1926
United we fly...... Until we kick you off the plane
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 13, 2017, 2:45pm; Reply: 1927
Dog tired.
Posted by: synthpopfan, April 13, 2017, 4:16pm; Reply: 1928
These pr*cks who believe they're entitled to everything - who throw a hissy for
not getting it.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 13, 2017, 6:39pm; Reply: 1929
Young Emotions
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 13, 2017, 9:43pm; Reply: 1930
Boom goes the dynamite. ??)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 13, 2017, 10:58pm; Reply: 1931
Dumb people don't know they are idiots
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 14, 2017, 2:26pm; Reply: 1932
It's been washed????
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 14, 2017, 2:57pm; Reply: 1933
Kim Jung Un loved playing with firecrackers on his head
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 14, 2017, 3:32pm; Reply: 1934
Sunday II
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 14, 2017, 6:57pm; Reply: 1935
Lookout for some surprise soon...... Seriously
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 14, 2017, 7:40pm; Reply: 1936
Lumpy
Posted by: synthpopfan, April 14, 2017, 10:48pm; Reply: 1937
That North Korean satellite named "shining star" routinely flying over
Kansas at 8PM that has people thinking it could carry a payload to burst
an EMP while the NK's celebrate their most important holiday at the same
time, called... Day of the Sun!

Silly. They'd launch it from the Sun off the CalI coast!
DOOOOOOOOOOM!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DMSHvgaUWc8
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 15, 2017, 12:29am; Reply: 1938
US has Mother Of All Bombs
North Korea Has the Dung Dumb 2
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 15, 2017, 7:41am; Reply: 1939
Mini scrap yard
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 16, 2017, 2:00am; Reply: 1940
Step on it and you will pay the price
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 16, 2017, 10:21am; Reply: 1941
10:45 :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 16, 2017, 1:42pm; Reply: 1942
No place to hide
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 16, 2017, 2:01pm; Reply: 1943
Dull and Dangerous.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 16, 2017, 3:29pm; Reply: 1944
So cassettes have made a come back...... Whoop ti do
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 16, 2017, 3:57pm; Reply: 1945
Stop thinking.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 16, 2017, 5:08pm; Reply: 1946
Methinks I have some screws in my future...But not the kind I'd like.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 16, 2017, 7:18pm; Reply: 1947
Here come the questions.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 17, 2017, 12:25am; Reply: 1948
Does Chemicalboy secretly wear erasure shirts in public?
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 17, 2017, 7:56am; Reply: 1949
Who doesn't?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 17, 2017, 10:38pm; Reply: 1950
Who does?
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 18, 2017, 1:40am; Reply: 1951
Erasure shirts actually do enter my undershirt rotation (not the older rarer ones). What fan could stand the light of day not wearing something Erasure branded?

If Hanes only had a license...

Back to the rubbish.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 18, 2017, 4:15am; Reply: 1952
Erasure underoos- fashion statement
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 18, 2017, 3:38pm; Reply: 1953
Gas pipe fracture
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 18, 2017, 11:41pm; Reply: 1954
Someone found a crack in his pipe
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 19, 2017, 3:38pm; Reply: 1955
Someone put a pipe in his crack.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 19, 2017, 4:41pm; Reply: 1956
He can keep it.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 19, 2017, 6:37pm; Reply: 1957
Facts Be Missed
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 20, 2017, 2:15am; Reply: 1958
Don't touch that part, it's contaminated
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 20, 2017, 3:49pm; Reply: 1959
Grumpy No1
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 21, 2017, 4:59am; Reply: 1960
His head is full of boulders
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 21, 2017, 6:30am; Reply: 1961
Day of Nothing
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 21, 2017, 6:41am; Reply: 1962
Nothing but sun
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 21, 2017, 6:50am; Reply: 1963
Faking it.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 21, 2017, 11:30am; Reply: 1964
Fridays aren't as exciting as they used to be.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 21, 2017, 11:32am; Reply: 1965
The Master of the Tip has been and gone. 8)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 21, 2017, 11:11pm; Reply: 1966
Fly under the radar, the consultants are here
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 22, 2017, 9:46am; Reply: 1967
Fat dude on a bike.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 22, 2017, 10:55pm; Reply: 1968
Remember what Whitney said- Crack is whack....
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 23, 2017, 3:43am; Reply: 1969
Hmm, oh, what the hell; might as shave it all off now.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2017, 10:10am; Reply: 1970
Just 5 more minutes I said 3 hours ago....
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 23, 2017, 10:12am; Reply: 1971
To oil, or not oil?
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2017, 10:54am; Reply: 1972
Dog panic
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 23, 2017, 12:13pm; Reply: 1973
Are Yorkshire maternity wards full of New Yorkers?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 23, 2017, 4:11pm; Reply: 1974
Record store day overhyped
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 23, 2017, 4:18pm; Reply: 1975
Last minute bidder.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2017, 2:02am; Reply: 1976
Last minute blunder
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 24, 2017, 3:32pm; Reply: 1977
Try again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 24, 2017, 10:27pm; Reply: 1978
He was a good boy from the outside of town
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 25, 2017, 10:05am; Reply: 1979
Outside, other side, outside, other side, outside...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 25, 2017, 12:35pm; Reply: 1980
He never really that good  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 25, 2017, 3:42pm; Reply: 1981
Turbo Flange.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 25, 2017, 11:26pm; Reply: 1982
Manage the damage
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 26, 2017, 3:11am; Reply: 1983
You can't buy good health...actually...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 26, 2017, 3:46am; Reply: 1984
Slow down, it's goingo be a bumpy ride
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 26, 2017, 4:07pm; Reply: 1985
Fools Audit
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 26, 2017, 11:52pm; Reply: 1986
Clean that crap up or sleep in it?
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 27, 2017, 3:48pm; Reply: 1987
Snappy Snapper
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 27, 2017, 11:20pm; Reply: 1988
Snappy snapper was outdone by the whipper snapper ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 28, 2017, 3:12pm; Reply: 1989
The elephant on your chest
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 29, 2017, 8:32pm; Reply: 1990
The person in THAT chair.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 30, 2017, 1:07am; Reply: 1991
I forgot how much fun it is to run over people's feet and get away with it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 30, 2017, 4:17am; Reply: 1992
100 days of LIES, LIES, LIES....... Yeah, there gonna get ya
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 30, 2017, 4:36am; Reply: 1993
I don't think Miss Pokeno would enjoy that association. ;)
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 30, 2017, 8:28am; Reply: 1994
The muddled words of the greatest.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2017, 4:14am; Reply: 1995
There was no lotion in the basket
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2017, 7:40am; Reply: 1996
Up.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2017, 12:50pm; Reply: 1997
Up up and  away in my beautiful ballon
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2017, 5:22pm; Reply: 1998
Unwanted offers
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 2, 2017, 12:50am; Reply: 1999
Warrenty expired yesterday
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 2, 2017, 3:44pm; Reply: 2000
Bold excitement followed by text content let down....
Posted by: Dunc, May 2, 2017, 7:45pm; Reply: 2001
Beware a bear who doesn't share
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 2, 2017, 8:24pm; Reply: 2002
Beware the Shadows
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2017, 12:14am; Reply: 2003
So he shared his pants, it's a new shade now
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 3, 2017, 12:21am; Reply: 2004
That was one too many cookies. Ready to toss...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2017, 4:46am; Reply: 2005
Kim Jung Un- The new Cookie Monster
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 3, 2017, 6:30pm; Reply: 2006
Keyboard Worrier strikes again
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2017, 11:29pm; Reply: 2007
Unknown comet heading our way
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 3, 2017, 11:48pm; Reply: 2008
"Hello. My name is Michael, and it's been two hours since my last synthpop messageboard registration..."

"HELLO MICHAEL!"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 4, 2017, 1:13am; Reply: 2009
Pop Tarts for dinner
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 4, 2017, 7:37pm; Reply: 2010
Just one more listen..... :)
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 5, 2017, 2:52am; Reply: 2011
I can't take this hectic schedule.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2017, 3:34pm; Reply: 2012
For all of its sins  - its on.
Posted by: Dunc, May 5, 2017, 5:05pm; Reply: 2013
Swimming in the river Thames wearing a killer clown costume.......
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2017, 6:12pm; Reply: 2014
Stories of others.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 5, 2017, 10:23pm; Reply: 2015
I'll drink to your leg.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2017, 10:25pm; Reply: 2016
Pushing the limits
Posted by: synthpopfan, May 6, 2017, 3:03am; Reply: 2017
2 unlimited
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 6, 2017, 12:24pm; Reply: 2018
Black Building
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 6, 2017, 12:47pm; Reply: 2019
On the cusp.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 6, 2017, 3:42pm; Reply: 2020
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm money......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 7, 2017, 2:39pm; Reply: 2021
M̛̥̘̪͈̞̼̘̑̄ͬ̂̆̏̔͘͘͢ͅyͨͭ̎͐͂͒̓̓̊̿̆҉̫̠̺̘̮͠ ̷̨̡̡̢͕̺͔̳̖̫͇͕̗̪͚̩͓̈́ͥ͛̚̚ć̴̱͎̝̰̭̫̤̹͔̣̎͊̍͐̂̎̋͡ó̂́̈́ͩ͒̒̄̍̈̾ͣ̾ͬ̑͐̋̓̕҉̶̷͔̜̤̺̭̲͎̼͞m̷̀͆͐ͣ̆̽ͣ̾ͣ̚͏̥͕̥̲̣̖̀͜͟p̵̡̳̩̼̮̰̦̻̤͙̗͉̮̯̻͐̊͑̿̒́̂̂͒͋̀ͨ́̕ͅu̶̸̲̣̥̞̮͇̩͎͖̝̬̤̻̥̞̰ͫͩ̇͒̍ͯ̾͑̋̅t̸̛̘͔͎̹̯͉̼̲́̀ͣ̀éͥ̉͐ͤ̓҉̴̧̣̫̲̟͓̞͓͕̭̖̬͠͞r̷̸̲͖̟͉̥̺̈́́ͧ͗͢͝ ̨̖̹̰͖̺͎̙̬̱͇͕̤͔̹̺͕̪̞ͯ͒̅̎̉̇͌̆͒ͯ̎̀̅̓̀͑͊͡ͅȉ̇̏̿͏̶̡͇̳̯̥̝̙͍͡s̴̫̮̬̗̝̝̰͂̄̂̊̒̏̀ͯ̕̕ ̸̡̢̛͍̜̬͔̤̙̭͍͖͎̹͇̺̅͗̾ͫ̐͛͋ͩ̓͐ͤ̉̍̍ͬ̆̿ã͕̹͍̟̱̙̦̖̖͇͚̫̖̟̤͉ͩͯ͌̓̏̍̓̎ͭͮ͌̇̂̌̒͟͜͝c̦̪̹̦̦͔̰̦ͣͨ̄̎͒ͨ͒͊̿̂͝͝͞t̾͗̈̾̃ͨ̏ͥͪͮ͏̭̻̯̙̩̙̱͡i̴̧̥̰̗̞̰̼̖̻̖ͨ͋̂̓ͭ̓̌̋͗͊͑ͪͅn̵͓̲̭͍̥͎̘̗̽͗ͫͦ̀̚͡g̷̡̪̱̹͔̞̟̣͍͕͇͙͖͎̯̭͚̭̖͐ͥ͆͒͜͝ ̨͇̗̭̼͎͍̳̱̦̞͉̳̺͕̰̫̲̹̈́̈́̊ͮ̌ͬ̈̾ͭ̈ͩ̔̉̔̆ͧ̓͝ś͉̠̲̼̬̆̃͌ͭ͛ͮ̉́́̚̕͝ţ̶͎͇̪͉͆͗͋͒̂͑ͨ̏ͩ́͘ͅr̽͐̓͌̋̒̈́̆̓͏̵̛̠͔̩͓̟̳͝ͅā̵̸̟̦̥̬͓͙̘ͯ́ͣ̎̆̓͌ͧ͊̈́ͮͥ̃ͩ̌ͤͤ͜ņ̷͓̳̱̑̒͒͐ͬͬ̀ͣ͆̎͊ͦǧ̛̗̝̥͕̻͕͖̩̰̼̝̩̱̘̥̠̝̙ͪ͛̏͐̀͝ͅe̢͓͕̳̫̩̬̤̠̰̲͙̰̲̣̞̟̦ͣͨ̀̔̀l̑͂̏ͩͨͫ̂͆҉̷҉҉̘͕̖̩̮̜̬̩͉͙̝̪̲̻̼̺̜̞ŷ̎̌̿ͫ͋ͨ͜҉̸̙̻͖͉̪͡.͒ͯ͛̽̐ͭ̒҉͏̠̫͔̩͔̤͇͈̬̕͝
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 8, 2017, 7:34pm; Reply: 2022
Clever :)
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 10, 2017, 7:05pm; Reply: 2023
Robert walked Miles for the Children.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 11, 2017, 6:22am; Reply: 2024
Trumpocracy is now in order
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2017, 6:19pm; Reply: 2025
It's coming....... :) :) :) :) :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2017, 1:46am; Reply: 2026
Trumpcopolyis
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2017, 3:42pm; Reply: 2027
Whether it is the weather I just don't know. :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2017, 1:11am; Reply: 2028
Jitters, Jitters, Jitters. Do you suffer from The Jitters?
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 18, 2017, 5:09pm; Reply: 2029
The Leak has not dripped on me......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 18, 2017, 5:11pm; Reply: 2030
Close your umbrella.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 18, 2017, 6:37pm; Reply: 2031
Wait Be Gone!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2017, 10:45pm; Reply: 2032
I smell Russia
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 18, 2017, 10:49pm; Reply: 2033
Someone dropped a jar of borscht.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 19, 2017, 12:34am; Reply: 2034
Guess what...... I still smell Russia
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 19, 2017, 8:11am; Reply: 2035
There was caviar in the borscht.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 19, 2017, 11:19pm; Reply: 2036
I smell Saudi Arabia with Russian Dressing
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 20, 2017, 7:49am; Reply: 2037
Over use of the word baby, baby.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 20, 2017, 12:25pm; Reply: 2038
"I've got a fever...and the only cure is more baby"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 20, 2017, 1:10pm; Reply: 2039
He suffers from the runs, that's why he runs
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 20, 2017, 2:50pm; Reply: 2040
Quoted from Tin Soldier
"I've got a fever...and the only cure is more baby"


This should read:

"Baby, I've got a fever baby...and the only cure baby is more baby"
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 20, 2017, 4:15pm; Reply: 2041
I stand corrected.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 20, 2017, 5:31pm; Reply: 2042
The quest for decent in ear head phones.....
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 6, 2017, 3:38pm; Reply: 2043
The longest day.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 6, 2017, 10:06pm; Reply: 2044
Dump the Trump
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 7, 2017, 4:11pm; Reply: 2045
The Badger eats his mash alone.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 8, 2017, 12:11am; Reply: 2046
Clean up the slop
Posted by: dannylee, June 8, 2017, 6:45am; Reply: 2047
Reaching out, then failing spectacularly
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 8, 2017, 3:59pm; Reply: 2048
The wrong cups
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 9, 2017, 3:04am; Reply: 2049
Duck and cover, lots of crap coming from DC
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 9, 2017, 4:00pm; Reply: 2050
Hang them all.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 10, 2017, 1:03am; Reply: 2051
Someone woke up to an election
Posted by: Tin Soldier, June 17, 2017, 7:17am; Reply: 2052
Absence makes the liver grow fatty.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 21, 2017, 5:08pm; Reply: 2053
Bring on the Thunder :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 22, 2017, 12:46pm; Reply: 2054
I don't want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day
Posted by: dannylee, June 22, 2017, 2:49pm; Reply: 2055
Ice cream dripping from the elbow.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 23, 2017, 12:45pm; Reply: 2056
Cleanup on isle 4!
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 24, 2017, 8:04am; Reply: 2057
The wedding no one wants to go to ::)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 24, 2017, 11:24am; Reply: 2058
The milkman daughter is asking questions
Posted by: Tin Soldier, June 24, 2017, 11:41am; Reply: 2059
All work and no play makes Tin really really tired.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 24, 2017, 7:17pm; Reply: 2060
All play and no work makes Mike happy ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 4, 2017, 7:12pm; Reply: 2061
Goodbye Khan
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 4, 2017, 9:37pm; Reply: 2062
Snicker doodles soon
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 5, 2017, 4:08pm; Reply: 2063
The first Yes
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 5, 2017, 10:56pm; Reply: 2064
Sloppy slop for dinner
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 6, 2017, 5:23pm; Reply: 2065
The troll is Sad :X

ie. Under the bridge :P
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 6, 2017, 10:45pm; Reply: 2066
It just Petered out.
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 8, 2017, 8:17am; Reply: 2067
Kittens Roar
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 8, 2017, 10:42pm; Reply: 2068
Smell the pain
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 9, 2017, 8:53am; Reply: 2069
Drive Way Work Out
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 9, 2017, 1:50pm; Reply: 2070
As useless as a jellyfish
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 9, 2017, 5:56pm; Reply: 2071
Nosey Neighbour
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 10, 2017, 2:50am; Reply: 2072
Sucker For Love
Posted by: chemicalboy, August 25, 2017, 9:05pm; Reply: 2073
Goodbye Pauline  :'(
Posted by: Mikedepaz, August 26, 2017, 12:11am; Reply: 2074
Blubber mouth is in the White House
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 5, 2017, 7:13pm; Reply: 2075
.37p
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 5, 2017, 9:39pm; Reply: 2076
Scrub the scum residue
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 6, 2017, 3:51pm; Reply: 2077
More and more and more
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 9, 2017, 5:42pm; Reply: 2078
The Punishment Of Luxury
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 9, 2017, 7:43pm; Reply: 2079
The Picture Argument
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 9, 2017, 10:05pm; Reply: 2080
Not in the eye of the storm
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 10, 2017, 9:43am; Reply: 2081
Crushed Diamonds
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 10, 2017, 11:23am; Reply: 2082
Why blow me down!
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 11, 2017, 4:47pm; Reply: 2083
The Sister In Law
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 14, 2017, 2:35am; Reply: 2084
Shiver me timbers
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 14, 2017, 3:46pm; Reply: 2085
Dripped on by the sunshine
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 14, 2017, 7:15pm; Reply: 2086
The zipper caught his thing
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 22, 2017, 6:57pm; Reply: 2087
Thankfully they didn't aim for the gardens....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 23, 2017, 2:03am; Reply: 2088
Rocket men you play with matches, you go boom!
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 23, 2017, 9:49am; Reply: 2089
The worst of the people have the most of the power.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 23, 2017, 1:34pm; Reply: 2090
Christmas lump of coal ready
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 24, 2017, 8:41am; Reply: 2091
Santa's sleigh hit by North Korean rocket. Elves promise further sanctions.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 25, 2017, 12:22am; Reply: 2092
Football players took a dump on Trump
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 25, 2017, 2:48pm; Reply: 2093
Why hasn't Robin the egg gone yet?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 26, 2017, 3:04am; Reply: 2094
Dotard on the run
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 26, 2017, 8:47am; Reply: 2095
Burial at Sea?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 26, 2017, 1:18pm; Reply: 2096
Hit'em where the moon don't shine
Posted by: chemicalboy, September 26, 2017, 6:27pm; Reply: 2097
Mur4erusare
Posted by: Mikedepaz, September 27, 2017, 3:42am; Reply: 2098
Stop me if you heard this one before
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 1, 2017, 11:49pm; Reply: 2099
Cal, get that bratwurst out of my face.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 2, 2017, 2:26am; Reply: 2100
New York City Boy
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 2, 2017, 2:53am; Reply: 2101
It's a helluvah town.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 2, 2017, 9:46am; Reply: 2102
Regional Germ Spreader
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 2, 2017, 1:40pm; Reply: 2103
I shall meet my old foe, the sea, and best him once again.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 5, 2017, 3:45am; Reply: 2104
The Phantom Of The Opera meets the Phantom Bride
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 10, 2017, 2:19am; Reply: 2105
The groom is another year older.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2017, 4:39am; Reply: 2106
Cold cold cold and cold
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 10, 2017, 10:27am; Reply: 2107
Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 10, 2017, 2:16pm; Reply: 2108
Sun, Sun, Sun outdoor Fun
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 10, 2017, 6:54pm; Reply: 2109
...and he was pelted by oranges for rubbing it in.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 10, 2017, 8:23pm; Reply: 2110
You stuck the carrot where?!
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 11, 2017, 6:05am; Reply: 2111
Make Erasure Great Again
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 11, 2017, 7:26am; Reply: 2112
(That one wasn't rubbish! ;) )
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 11, 2017, 1:34pm; Reply: 2113
No Pain No Pain
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 13, 2017, 4:45pm; Reply: 2114
The Hills Have Eyes Home Visit.....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 14, 2017, 4:03am; Reply: 2115
You ask yourself, where does that highway lead to....
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 14, 2017, 6:24pm; Reply: 2116
Flappy Carpet
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 14, 2017, 8:54pm; Reply: 2117
These boots are made for sleeping.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 15, 2017, 4:20am; Reply: 2118
Looky, Looky here comes the booky
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 15, 2017, 7:34am; Reply: 2119
The L@T Fight Club
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 15, 2017, 1:41pm; Reply: 2120
From Moscow To Washington  ;D
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 15, 2017, 11:18pm; Reply: 2121
Commentary
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 16, 2017, 1:15am; Reply: 2122
The circus continues in the White House
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 16, 2017, 9:33am; Reply: 2123
Shiny Shiny
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 16, 2017, 10:08pm; Reply: 2124
Buffon is at it again
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 17, 2017, 11:27am; Reply: 2125
Mood baby.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 17, 2017, 1:03pm; Reply: 2126
A Royal Wedding for The Commoners
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 17, 2017, 10:05pm; Reply: 2127
I like it how I do.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 18, 2017, 5:51am; Reply: 2128
A Sinking Ship Looms
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 18, 2017, 9:23am; Reply: 2129
Churnin', churnin', churnin', oh my stomach's turnin'...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 18, 2017, 1:46pm; Reply: 2130
Mary better not be Poppin in
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 18, 2017, 9:12pm; Reply: 2131
Dicks Van is in the Dyke...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 18, 2017, 11:48pm; Reply: 2132
Chin Chimeny, Chim Chim Away
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 20, 2017, 6:17pm; Reply: 2133
Drunk Ebay Furniture purchase......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 20, 2017, 6:48pm; Reply: 2134
I can only catch a tiger in a cardboard box.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 21, 2017, 3:09am; Reply: 2135
It's time for the yearly colonoscopy
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 21, 2017, 6:49am; Reply: 2136
Now I know why they call that a highway.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 21, 2017, 1:31pm; Reply: 2137
Lena Lovich eye exam fiasco
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 25, 2017, 10:35am; Reply: 2138
Keep your hands off my snow globes.
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 25, 2017, 8:53pm; Reply: 2139
Scrooge
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 25, 2017, 10:04pm; Reply: 2140
Yes, it's a girl.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 26, 2017, 2:49am; Reply: 2141
Quoted from Tin Soldier
Yes, it's a girl.


And I'm officially a grandpa
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 26, 2017, 2:53am; Reply: 2142
Granpa Mike can now officially add "whippersnapper' to his vocabulary.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 26, 2017, 2:58am; Reply: 2143
I've been whipped and snapped, don't start any Blasphemous Rumours
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 26, 2017, 5:42am; Reply: 2144
"In my day, we didn't have these fancy newfangled 'EyePhones'. We had to get up, put our pants on, shave, and walk to an actual building called a 'store' to buy big black discs that had our music on them. Then we had to get back home without breaking them and play them through speakers we didn't stick in our ears...AND WE LIKED IT!"
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 26, 2017, 8:33pm; Reply: 2145
He's behind you...
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 26, 2017, 9:21pm; Reply: 2146
"Customer service" is an oxymoron.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 27, 2017, 1:35am; Reply: 2147
The candles melted so they lit the inside of his ears
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 27, 2017, 1:39pm; Reply: 2148
Procrastination
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 28, 2017, 2:14am; Reply: 2149
Detox detox detox...... Fill'er up
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 28, 2017, 8:46pm; Reply: 2150
Florida's looking good right now.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 28, 2017, 11:23pm; Reply: 2151
Bartender, another Margarita..... We got company coming
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 29, 2017, 7:59pm; Reply: 2152
*Hic* Soo, whennn doezz the ballz drrop herre? *Hic* Noww? *Hic* Whooo? *Hic* Lanz? *Hic* Wot kiind of club iz thizz..? *Hic*
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 29, 2017, 11:17pm; Reply: 2153
One two cha cha cha!!
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 30, 2017, 12:50pm; Reply: 2154
Beardy
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 30, 2017, 2:19pm; Reply: 2155
Holy Moly thats a mother of a Mole
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 30, 2017, 8:50pm; Reply: 2156
The lost jigsaw pieces....
Posted by: Tin Soldier, December 30, 2017, 9:01pm; Reply: 2157
That Chinese food will not be forgotten.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2017, 4:34am; Reply: 2158
Out with the old, in with the old
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2017, 2:42pm; Reply: 2159
The tree of hearts
Posted by: Mikedepaz, December 31, 2017, 6:26pm; Reply: 2160
Dumb dumb and dumber
Posted by: chemicalboy, December 31, 2017, 11:44pm; Reply: 2161
Planning
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 1, 2018, 1:29am; Reply: 2162
I'm close enough to get drunk.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2018, 2:09pm; Reply: 2163
Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat. STOP. Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat. STOP. Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat. POP!.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 1, 2018, 2:58pm; Reply: 2164
Another year down the hatch
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 1, 2018, 4:42pm; Reply: 2165
Dyedbrows
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 1, 2018, 8:10pm; Reply: 2166
My dyedbrows hurt this morning.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 1, 2018, 8:17pm; Reply: 2167
Too type to drunk
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 2, 2018, 12:30am; Reply: 2168
Mardi Gras and St. Pat's coming. Time to buy booze.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 2, 2018, 1:00am; Reply: 2169
Pack and go it will be a doozy
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 2, 2018, 8:22pm; Reply: 2170
Table Intruder
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 2, 2018, 11:25pm; Reply: 2171
That is NOT a lump of coal you are holding
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 3, 2018, 4:40am; Reply: 2172
Cauliflower travels fast.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 3, 2018, 1:28pm; Reply: 2173
So you are saying there's a chance
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 3, 2018, 8:34pm; Reply: 2174
An afternoon of BULL.... :B
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 6, 2018, 3:12pm; Reply: 2175
Slap me silly, a new book on Trump
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 6, 2018, 5:25pm; Reply: 2176
The Catalans have nicked my PC :-/
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 7, 2018, 5:00am; Reply: 2177
Under Pressure
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 8, 2018, 7:26pm; Reply: 2178
Fake Off
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 9, 2018, 1:36am; Reply: 2179
Dyson- lot of money for blowing or sucking
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 9, 2018, 5:10pm; Reply: 2180
Boss Kid
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 10, 2018, 1:31pm; Reply: 2181
Ivanka what a wanka
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 11, 2018, 9:56am; Reply: 2182
This is only a test...of my sanity.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 11, 2018, 1:45pm; Reply: 2183
Hocus Pocus what a bad magic word
Posted by: Tin Soldier, January 13, 2018, 4:02am; Reply: 2184
It hurts here, here, and here, but you can stop there.
Posted by: chemicalboy, January 13, 2018, 10:08am; Reply: 2185
15 years undiscovered
Posted by: Mikedepaz, January 14, 2018, 6:17am; Reply: 2186
Jump to conclusion......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 21, 2018, 7:03pm; Reply: 2187
A snowflake fell in my coffee. Needs more Kahlua now.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 21, 2018, 7:33pm; Reply: 2188
Angry Black Lorry
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 22, 2018, 4:12am; Reply: 2189
I scream, you scream, we all scream, when we see the credit card bill.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 22, 2018, 12:36pm; Reply: 2190
Put the the lotion in the basket... iN THE BASKET!
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 23, 2018, 9:49pm; Reply: 2191
Pondora....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 24, 2018, 12:12am; Reply: 2192
Celebrity Apprentice for real
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 24, 2018, 12:28am; Reply: 2193
World Be Live be crazy, yo.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 24, 2018, 12:49am; Reply: 2194
Slap me silly
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 24, 2018, 8:04pm; Reply: 2195
Casting the dream takes ages
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 24, 2018, 8:25pm; Reply: 2196
Still no Lotion In The basket...... Hurry up
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 28, 2018, 11:31pm; Reply: 2197
A day you can't get TOTO out of your head, is a terrible week.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 29, 2018, 12:43am; Reply: 2198
I hear the drums echoing tonight
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 29, 2018, 6:56pm; Reply: 2199
God isn't coming...
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 29, 2018, 8:59pm; Reply: 2200
Sleep is a drug.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, March 30, 2018, 12:16am; Reply: 2201
Lion sleeps tonight
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 30, 2018, 3:46am; Reply: 2202
I need a straw hat to cover the tin foil for Easter.
Posted by: chemicalboy, March 30, 2018, 2:07pm; Reply: 2203
No White Bottle
Posted by: Tin Soldier, March 31, 2018, 11:54am; Reply: 2204
Eggs won't sleep well tonight.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 1, 2018, 1:03am; Reply: 2205
Stick a fork in him, he is done
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 1, 2018, 6:27pm; Reply: 2206
It's a chocolate rabbit holocaust.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 2, 2018, 1:07am; Reply: 2207
A colonoscopy after Dinner
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 2, 2018, 12:08pm; Reply: 2208
Snotty balloon freak
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 2, 2018, 12:22pm; Reply: 2209
What a debut for who
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 2, 2018, 8:46pm; Reply: 2210
Tracy Morgan wants to get me pregnant.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 3, 2018, 1:02am; Reply: 2211
Banged by WalMart Truck
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 3, 2018, 5:48am; Reply: 2212
"I love you all...especially you. Yeah baby. You got a man?"
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 3, 2018, 12:41pm; Reply: 2213
Don't leave me this way
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 3, 2018, 12:42pm; Reply: 2214
Don't leave me this way
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 3, 2018, 1:41pm; Reply: 2215
Never can say goodbye...to Chinese food.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 4, 2018, 12:17am; Reply: 2216
Save me a piece of pie
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 4, 2018, 12:41am; Reply: 2217
Time to crack my knuckles, and then my back.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 4, 2018, 2:12am; Reply: 2218
When a problem comes along.... You must whip it
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 4, 2018, 2:38am; Reply: 2219
In a bizarro world, "A Little Irreverence" would be the hit off "The Bad Seeds".
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 4, 2018, 4:49am; Reply: 2220
Nick Cave came out of hibernation
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 5, 2018, 12:10am; Reply: 2221
I'm telling you Indians In Moscow was a band...no really...REALLY.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 5, 2018, 2:59am; Reply: 2222
Stock Market Dumpage
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 5, 2018, 5:26am; Reply: 2223
May your sharpie never go dry.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 5, 2018, 12:47pm; Reply: 2224
Hungry like a wolf
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 5, 2018, 7:59pm; Reply: 2225
Touching Brilliance
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 5, 2018, 11:32pm; Reply: 2226
New Moon On Monday
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 6, 2018, 3:54am; Reply: 2227
Last chance on the my own way.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 6, 2018, 12:45pm; Reply: 2228
Notorious for coming undone
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 6, 2018, 5:22pm; Reply: 2229
I don't want your chauffeur
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 7, 2018, 3:03am; Reply: 2230
Planet Earth is no ordinary world
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 7, 2018, 4:37am; Reply: 2231
Union of the snakeskin trade.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 7, 2018, 8:47am; Reply: 2232
She did a Lottie to pull through  :)
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 7, 2018, 1:19pm; Reply: 2233
Well dung young man
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 7, 2018, 8:23pm; Reply: 2234
Good Betty
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 7, 2018, 9:51pm; Reply: 2235
Proud Harry keeps on bowling
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 8, 2018, 2:01am; Reply: 2236
OMG if you see OMD Live
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 8, 2018, 2:06am; Reply: 2237
OMG, How Bizarre is OMC?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 8, 2018, 5:03pm; Reply: 2238
Stuck In The Middle With You
Posted by: Tin Soldier, April 8, 2018, 5:32pm; Reply: 2239
Tuunbaq is just turnback in a scots accent.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 9, 2018, 1:54am; Reply: 2240
Slurpee for dinner
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 9, 2018, 7:11am; Reply: 2241
Wet Week
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 9, 2018, 12:22pm; Reply: 2242
Bed wetter, no surprise
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 11, 2018, 6:38pm; Reply: 2243
Fill the gaps
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 11, 2018, 9:06pm; Reply: 2244
Somebody is about to launch cheese balls
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 12, 2018, 8:10pm; Reply: 2245
50% young.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 13, 2018, 1:54am; Reply: 2246
We'll be together again, I've been waiting for a long time.
Posted by: chemicalboy, April 17, 2018, 7:43pm; Reply: 2247
Boss Baby
Posted by: Mikedepaz, April 17, 2018, 9:46pm; Reply: 2248
Stormy days ahead
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 1, 2018, 7:02am; Reply: 2249
BOGO at full price. Story of my life...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2018, 12:38pm; Reply: 2250
DMZ is the place to be
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 1, 2018, 8:24pm; Reply: 2251
The food gang....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 1, 2018, 10:28pm; Reply: 2252
Un vs Trump, who you got money on?
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 2, 2018, 4:45am; Reply: 2253
Sniffing wasabi was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2018, 12:37pm; Reply: 2254
The window seat is a cracking place to be
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 3, 2018, 6:06pm; Reply: 2255
Knitting Nora
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 3, 2018, 9:53pm; Reply: 2256
Slow boat to China, tax it!
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 4, 2018, 7:53pm; Reply: 2257
Today, I begin the Great American Pamphlet.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 4, 2018, 8:48pm; Reply: 2258
Panhandle For Beginners
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 4, 2018, 8:59pm; Reply: 2259
Remote Moaner
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 4, 2018, 9:41pm; Reply: 2260
I am carding myself today, and I will be flattered by it.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 5, 2018, 1:25am; Reply: 2261
Delusion of Grandiur
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 5, 2018, 2:24am; Reply: 2262
Sugar, Salt, Alcohol, Air Conditioning. Repeat x2.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 5, 2018, 4:45pm; Reply: 2263
More food than teeth.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 5, 2018, 5:01pm; Reply: 2264
I was awoken by a protest this morning. Classic New York alarm clock.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 6, 2018, 3:28am; Reply: 2265
Royal wedding schinanigans
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 6, 2018, 5:13am; Reply: 2266
I'm in need of a laugh track.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 6, 2018, 11:58am; Reply: 2267
Garage Blues
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 6, 2018, 8:01pm; Reply: 2268
Billabong and I'm gone
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 9, 2018, 4:22am; Reply: 2269
No, I'll get the check...no really...damn...do you have a fiver?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 9, 2018, 12:15pm; Reply: 2270
Fox News Clown Festival
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 9, 2018, 4:11pm; Reply: 2271
Undeserved %?
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 9, 2018, 10:45pm; Reply: 2272
Feel the flow
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 10, 2018, 4:06pm; Reply: 2273
A loss of power
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 10, 2018, 9:40pm; Reply: 2274
Toilet full of something
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 11, 2018, 7:03am; Reply: 2275
Sugar-free chocolate is an affront to reality.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 12, 2018, 2:44am; Reply: 2276
What would do for a Klondike bar
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 12, 2018, 11:24pm; Reply: 2277
Calgon, take me away...for the weekend, at least.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 13, 2018, 1:44am; Reply: 2278
Scrub the armpits, something smells
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 13, 2018, 4:06am; Reply: 2279
That Florida musk must have traveled up north.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 16, 2018, 9:20pm; Reply: 2280
Hey, Jude? :(
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 16, 2018, 9:58pm; Reply: 2281
Stella Artrois fumes and cig smoke. Small price to pay.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2018, 1:28am; Reply: 2282
Sloppy seconds
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 17, 2018, 3:22am; Reply: 2283
Ginger beer and pirouline for me.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 17, 2018, 12:43pm; Reply: 2284
We are on a road to nowhere
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 17, 2018, 7:20pm; Reply: 2285
Unwanted party guest
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 17, 2018, 7:51pm; Reply: 2286
Playing with fire.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 18, 2018, 3:06am; Reply: 2287
Put the lotion in the basket
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 18, 2018, 3:25am; Reply: 2288
Just now starting to wonder if I'll die in a vinyl avalanche.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 19, 2018, 10:28am; Reply: 2289
Clean underwear for the week  8)
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 19, 2018, 12:30pm; Reply: 2290
Grey, grey, go away.
Posted by: chemicalboy, May 19, 2018, 7:31pm; Reply: 2291
A handshake with Diabolus....
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 19, 2018, 8:48pm; Reply: 2292
Burger King was not invited
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 20, 2018, 5:23am; Reply: 2293
Rough Trade isn't so rough.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 20, 2018, 11:03am; Reply: 2294
Two Ring Circus Bamboozled
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 20, 2018, 1:44pm; Reply: 2295
They definitely have a situation.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, May 27, 2018, 7:51pm; Reply: 2296
My spinning plates are starting to wobble.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, May 28, 2018, 1:42am; Reply: 2297
I think my Trump coin is worthless
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 16, 2018, 11:31am; Reply: 2298
Poles apart
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 18, 2018, 12:53pm; Reply: 2299
Party in the DMZ, it's a blast
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 19, 2018, 7:26pm; Reply: 2300
Choo Choo permission
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 20, 2018, 2:36am; Reply: 2301
A wall of misery
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 25, 2018, 8:27pm; Reply: 2302
Zoe Go ::)
Posted by: Tin Soldier, June 25, 2018, 9:14pm; Reply: 2303
Sometimes, you don't realize who your actual enemies are until it's too late.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 25, 2018, 10:58pm; Reply: 2304
Watch out for that bear trap
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 28, 2018, 5:59pm; Reply: 2305
Talking fluent George...
Posted by: Tin Soldier, June 28, 2018, 7:37pm; Reply: 2306
The seduction of soggy french fries seems easily rebuffed...at first.
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 29, 2018, 7:10pm; Reply: 2307
Fatball
Posted by: Mikedepaz, June 29, 2018, 11:03pm; Reply: 2308
Such a Buffon and orange to boot
Posted by: chemicalboy, June 30, 2018, 7:42am; Reply: 2309
Falling away
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 1, 2018, 3:35am; Reply: 2310
Someday we will be protected by The Space Force
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 1, 2018, 10:46am; Reply: 2311
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppy
Posted by: Tin Soldier, July 1, 2018, 7:57pm; Reply: 2312
Trial sizes and tribulations.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 2, 2018, 4:41am; Reply: 2313
Putin PK Siberia Threat in full effect
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 2, 2018, 5:16pm; Reply: 2314
Deep Dive
Posted by: Tin Soldier, July 2, 2018, 7:06pm; Reply: 2315
Sunbaked egg salad sandwich, and lukewarm tea. More to follow...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 2, 2018, 10:05pm; Reply: 2316
Who let the cats out? Who who who?
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 11, 2018, 8:36pm; Reply: 2317
Its the hope that kills...... :B
Posted by: Pughie, July 11, 2018, 9:02pm; Reply: 2318
COme home boys
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 11, 2018, 10:05pm; Reply: 2319
In four more years......
Posted by: Tin Soldier, July 12, 2018, 5:31pm; Reply: 2320
Battery critically lo-...
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 12, 2018, 9:04pm; Reply: 2321
Germany is on the hot seat
Posted by: Tin Soldier, July 21, 2018, 3:08am; Reply: 2322
I <3 Saturday...pizza on Sunday afternoon.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 22, 2018, 3:02am; Reply: 2323
New Moon On Monday, and a lonely satellite
Posted by: chemicalboy, July 22, 2018, 1:05pm; Reply: 2324
The missing parts of the speech.
Posted by: Tin Soldier, July 22, 2018, 11:42pm; Reply: 2325
Only rain...until you're drenched in a World Be Gone tee and sport sandals. Then it's personal.
Posted by: Mikedepaz, July 23, 2018, 12:29am; Reply: 2326
Putin on the Ritz, feelin like a million dollar poker, super duper
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